I think because this is falling.
And if thisisfalling, it’s absolutely terrifying.
Especially because of what Diedrick said to me at our meeting this afternoon.
“That photo that went viral…was that yours?” he asked me.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t purposely jeopardize the privacy of a high-profile guest.”
He pressed his lips together in disappointment. He couldn’t directly tell me to advertise the fact thatArcher and Ford Bradley are staying at the resort, but he could hint at it.
“You haven’t posted the long-form content you promised,” he pointed out.
“I’m gathering the material to do so and waiting on the algorithm to post at the right time,” I lied.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time in another guest’s room,” he said.
My cheeks turned red at his insinuation. “I’ve made a friend.”
“Perhaps that friend would agree to appear in your content.”
“That friend has already made it clear he doesn’t want to be in my work,” I said.
“The algorithm cares about consent?” he asked. And then he said, “There are ways to change a man’s mind, you know.”
At that point, I felt that he hadn’t explicitly told me that I had to feature Archer in my posts about the resort, but he was indicating he expected me to. Until his next words.
“See what you can do to persuade him.”
It made me feel cheap and used, and then he added more.
“If you can’t, perhaps we’ll be forced to examine the length of your visit here and reexamine any chance of a potential partnership going forward.”
He dismissed me after those words, and I went to my room and cried.
He’s essentially bulldozing me into including Archer in my content, and if I don’t, he’ll cut my trip short and make sure I don’t get any sort of paid partnership after this contract ends.
I’ve already talked about how I’m here for an entire month, how I’ll be sampling every restaurant, and how I’ll be trying a variety of excursions. He knows what cuttingme off will do. It’ll kill my chances at future deals because it’ll look like I was asked to leave because of bad behavior.
I’d hardly call respecting someone’s privacybad behavior, but clearly Diedrick and I see things differently. It feels like he’s making me choose between a potential relationship with Archer and the entire future I’ve been dreaming of since I was nineteen.
Then Archer showed up and wanted to know why I looked so upset. I could hardly tell him that the hotel manager implied I should use sex to get him to agree to let me feature him in my content. It feels gross, and I’m half tempted to walk out on this place on my own.
Except I can’t. For one, I’m not ready to leave Archer. But for another thing, I signed a contract saying I’d stay here for a month. I can’t walk out, or—once again—it would be my career on the line.
I’m stuck. I need to work up the nerve to ask Archer if I can feature him, but I have no idea how to do that when I already know he’ll feel like I’m using him.
I’m not.
Of course I’m not.
I’m genuinely falling for him. I care about him, and it feels like we’ve both grown a lot in the short time we’ve been here. He’s moving forward from his previous relationship, something that was clear during dinner. He wasn’t tossing his arm over the back of my chair because he was trying to show off. He was doing it because it felt natural. He seemed relaxed instead of tense.
We stayed at dinner later than we’d planned. Conversation flowed, as did the alcohol. We laughed. We ate too much. It felt like a double date as Archer and Ford had side conversations about their sports, as Tatum and I chatted about weddings and venues and cities since we’re both originally from Chicago.
All in all, it was a great dinner, and I think it’s exactly what Archer needed to let go of that last piece of his former relationship he was clinging to.
I felt it in the way he took me back to his suite and made love to me.
