Do something. A little voice in my head is trying to convince me to fight.
How can I? That’s my only reply.
I wish she would have told me the truth. Maybe if she had…
I don’t know her well enough to push the betrayal behind me or to know she wouldn’t do it again. So the sex was good. So I felt things I didn’t even feel with Tate. So I let her in a little.
I’ll find someone someday who’s right for me. My commitment right now is to baseball, and it’s great for the guys who can manage familiesandplaying, but that life’s not for everyone.
Cooper invites me over for breakfast on Sunday. I decline.
Danny tries to convince me to join him for a drink.
I stay home. I watch ESPN. I try to get my head back in the game and off the girl.
It’s impossible.
Johnny calls, and I don’t answer.
He’s harder to ignore when he comes knocking on my door.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” I ask. I glance at my watch. “Don’t you need to be at the clubhouse?”
“I’ll get there when I get there,” he says, and I can’t help a chuckle. He’dnevertalk to Troy that way even though he pretends to be some rebel rule-breaker. “I know you have eleven games left or whatever, but fuck, I need you back.”
“You sound like a little bitch.”
He shrugs. “Coop and Brewer said you’re ignoring their invitations. They sent me to do their dirty work. What the fuck happened on that island?”
“You really want to know?”
“No, but they forced me here against my will. Look, Cade is all right or whatever, but he doesn’t get me the way you do.” He follows me into my kitchen, where I perch against the counter and he drops onto a chair.
“Now youreallysound like a little bitch. Can I get you anything?”
He shakes his head. “An insult and invitation in a single breath.”
I chuckle.
“Are you going to talk?” he asks. “Or did I waste my time coming here?”
“You wasted your time.”
“Figured as much, but dude, you act like you’re all alone all the time, but you’re not. You’ve got me. Coop. Brewer. Troy. Everyone on the Heat, man. We’ve gotyour back, suspension or not. You keep it all inside, and that’s not healthy.”
I raise my brows. “Look at you, being all psychological and shit.”
He tilts his head. “Stop deflecting.”
“Where is this coming from?” I ask. “I thought we were good with each other, and now you’re digging up shit.”
“No, I’m not. Look, I’m a pretty simple guy. Baseball, beer, and boobs, and I’m good. But you, you’re a complicated fellow. You’re deeper than me. You’re so desperate to keep to yourself that you can’t even see what it’s doing to you. But you have twelve days to get it together and get your ass back in the outfield so we can get back to it, man. And I need you back, not the guy who was sulking because he broke it off with his woman, not the guy who obviously went through something during this suspension, butyou. Don’t you get that? Other people depend on you. Other peoplelikeyou. We need you, Arch. And you act like we don’t and like you have to deal with all your shit alone. You don’t.”
“You don’t want the burden of listening to me moan about my ex, or my family, or what happened in the Bahamas,” I mutter.
“It’s not a burden, dude. We’re friends. It’s whatfriendsdo. Your family may be fucked, but you’ve got a family with us. Your teammates. We’re here for you. Every single one of us. Well, maybe not Eric because he can be kind of a dick, but the rest of us got you, man.”
“Ericcanbe kind of a dick,” I agree.
