“Then I’ve done a poor job raising her to believe in her own worth.” He said it simply, without deflection.
Now the pen began to flip from finger to finger. “My daughter is not responsible for my reputation. And she hasneverbeen responsible for my happiness. If she’s spent years believing otherwise, then it’s because I allowed it without realizing, and I’m sorry for that.”
He looked at me directly. “I’m still searching for the level of love you just described, Kardok. And if I found it—if someone offered me a forever like that—I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way.”
“Not even the OHL?”
Rex Fairbanks picked up his phone.
“I’ll handle the OHL, son.” His lips pulled into a savage grin of a predator, one I’d seen on the ice and in a mirror. “You go convince Lila that yourforeveris worth more than their rules.”
Chapter Thirteen
Lila
Thank God for Maddie Moskowitz.
On Friday, I brought my gowns—for the gala and the performance—and hair and makeup supplies to the ice complex in the morning. I spent all day running around, finalizing the last-minute details with the crew, the caterers, and the youth league. I had to work closely with Maddie, and throughout the day, she’d peer at me and go, “You sure you’re okay, hon?” and I’d tell her yes, and then another emergency would distract us.
But by five, I knew I had to start getting ready. I sat in my office, curling my hair and trying to use heavy foundation to cover how red my eyes were and knew that no, I did not look okay at all.
My stomach was too knotted to eat anything—althoughI most certainly needed to, considering how little I’d managed to eat for lunch under Maddie’s watchful eye.
My chest ached like I’d been hit in the solar plexus, and I found it about that easy to breathe, too. But that old adagethe show must go onwas running through my head, so I kept trying to inhale without shaking, and concentrated on not screwing up my eyeliner.
Stupid eyeliner.
Even on my best days, I tended to look like a lopsided racoon.
Tonight I looked like a lopsided racoon who’d spent the night bawling her eyes out, which was basically what I was.
I should be home with pizza and a pint of ice cream, not here plastering on a smile and telling myselfthe show must go onbecause, really?Did it?
That’swhat I was struggling with as I pressed on the fake lashes. Here I was, putting on my skating makeup, prepared to go out there and hope the lights didn’t wash me out in my pretty princess dress which now just made me lookpink…and I wasn’t even sure if I should be bothering.
Our skating routine, the one we’d been building for the last few weeks, the one Joshua had helped to choreograph, was all about Kardok and me, and our worlds meshing. We’d spent weeks doing that, on and off the ice…and now we were being told we couldn’t. The Orc Hockey League had made it clear that he belonged in his world, and I belonged in mine, and if we kept trying tomesh, we’d be endangering the team and my father’s contracts.
“Knock-knock!”
I recognized Maddie’s cheerful tone, so I called out, “I’m in the restroom.”
“Are you decent?”
Was I? I straightened and studied myself in the mirror. For tonight’s gala, I’d chosen a cocktail-length gown with black glitter and turquoise gems. The collar was high—a pattern of turquoise made it look like I was wearing a heavy necklace—and supported my bust, so I didn’t have to worry about straps…but the cross-your-heart bra was a bit of a pain.
My blonde curls were arranged just-so around my shoulders, and I wore a pair of simple diamond studs Daddy had given me on my twenty-fifth birthday.
“Yes,” I finally decided. “As decent as I can be.”
Maddie poked her head through the door and gasped. “Oh, Lila, you look—” Whatever she’d been about to say dissolved when her eyes met mine in the mirror. “You arenotokay.”
I smiled ruefully. “No, I’m not.”
“Well, you look magnificent.”
When she stepped into the room and linked her arm through mine, I glanced down at her simple and elegant pantsuit. “So do you. We’re both wearing Teal Terrors’ colors.”
“Of course.” She squeezed my arm. “I’m so sorry I haven’t had time to pin you down and ask what the heck is going on, so you’re going to have to tell me now. Come on, we have to get down to the banquet space to be ready to greet the early arrivals.”
