Van felt muscles unbunch, sinews release. “She told me. Why should she be blamed for her husband’s dishonor?”
“She obviously knew about it.”
“She found out after Celestin’s death, from his papers and accounts. And I believe her on that, Hawk.”
Hawk didn’t look relieved, but he said, “Then for your sake, I’m glad. Except that apparently she has cast you off.”
With matters so on edge between them, Van didn’t want to expose Maria any further, but it wouldn’t make sense otherwise, and he needed Hawk’s help. “The engagement is a pretense. Maria hired me to play her husband-to-be for six weeks. She said it was for protection from fortune hunters, but as I discovered, it was to return the money my father lost in that investment.”
“So it was all pretense anyway,” Hawk was saying, looking brighter. “Your six weeks must be nearly up and you’ll be able to restore Steynings. All’s well that ends well.”
“Except for the fact that I love her. I took her to Steynings yesterday and realized that the place will mean nothing to me without her by my side. I asked her to marry me, and she said no. I’m not willing to accept that answer.”
“I’d say you don’t have any choice.”
“I can fight. That at least I can do well.”
“Perdition, Van, if the woman doesn’t want you, she doesn’t want you!”
“I love her, and I think she loves me too, though she won’t admit it.”
“Will you try to throttle me if I say that we are easily misled about such things? If she loved you she would marry you.”
“She thinks the age difference matters. But more important, she thinks she’s barren.”
“Ah. She has no children. More honor to her, then. The line dies with you.”
“So it dies! What the devil difference will that make to the world? But I’ll never persuade her to marry me as long as she believes it true.” He collapsed into a chair. “Thing is, Hawk, I’m not sure it’s true. I don’t want to raise false hopes, but I want you to put your inquisitive talents to some use, for once.”
Hawk stayed standing. “You’re being damn rude for someone wanting a favor.”
The sudden chill shocked Van back into his sense. “Gad, so I am.” He looked up at his friend. “Have you ever been in love?”
“I don’t think so.”
“It can blast away common sense as well as manners. That’s why I need a cool head to look into Maurice Celestin’s intimate affairs and bastards.” He tried a smile. “For old times’ sake?”
Hawk pulled him out of the chair and into a brief hug. “For past, present, and future, you idiot. But I warn you,” he added, eyes steady, “I’ll tell you everything I find—good or bad.”
Van met his eyes. “Can you not see how wonderful she is?”
“I see a handsome woman with strength of character. She claimed to have saved your life, and it’s probably true. But that means you were vulnerable to her maturity and strength of character. Van, when she first came to London to flirt atAlmack’s, we were pretending your gamekeeper was the Sheriff of Nottingham, and that Con’s father’s bull was the Minotaur.”
Van laughed. “Zeus, that poor bull! But you’re as bad as she is, Hawk. It doesn’t matter. Trust me on that—it doesn’t matter. Just find out the truth about Celestin’s bastards.”
“And if she really is barren?”
Van smiled. “Then I’ll try to win her anyway.”
Maria found she lacked the courage to go out. She had no taste for gossipy company or idle pleasures, and no courage to face questions about her missing ring and missing fiancé. She would have to one day, but not yet, especially not with him still in her house.
Every day Van took an early breakfast then left the house, returning in time for the evening meal. She joined him for that meal because it would be petty to leave him and Harriette to eat alone. And anyway, she hungered for the last few scraps of the feast—the sight of him, the sound of his voice, his expression whenever their eyes met, the ache in every muscle, every bone at the memory of their lovemaking.
When she and Harriette left the dining table he did not linger, but nor did he join them for tea in the drawing room. He retired to his room for the night, but always with a look that said as clearly as words, “If you join me again, you will be welcome.”
Every night, it was another Waterloo not to take up that invitation.
She counted the days till this torture would be over, and counted the nights as the beginning of an eternity without him.
