“No.” He sounded excited.
German grabbed the model kit from the backseat. “This has everything we need to build it. The glue gets pretty smelly. What do you say we go to the backyard and put this together out there?” He passed the box to Ben so that he could close the cardoor. “Is there a way to get back there without going through the house?”
Ben hugged the box to his chest and nodded. “Over there.” He pointed toward the garage and German spotted a gate.
German followed Ben’s directions, trying not to panic at the possibility of Ben’s only parent being dead inside. He didn’t know how to handle this, but he knew he couldn’t let Ben witness anything.
They made their way to the patio table. He set Ben in a chair and then pulled another one close to him. “Do you like music?”
Ben nodded. “Uncle Justin plays music. He’s on the TV sometimes. Mommy and I watch him on YouTube.” The way he attempted to say YouTube was adorable. “She says that’s how she knows I can be whatever I want. If his goofy ass can do it, anyone can do anything.”
A bark of laughter burst from German. “Is that what she says? Well, maybe you can find your favorite song of Uncle Justin’s to play for us.” He unlocked his phone and passed it to Ben. While he opened the box, German prayed Ben was as quick with YouTube as he was with his art program because that ambulance was on its way. The music started, and Ben turned the sound up to maximum volume. German’s throat swelled. He realized Ben knew exactly what German was doing. This obviously wasn’t the first time he had been through this. German’s heart broke for him. Ben was way too little to be so grown.
They put their heads together and pulled things from the box. Time ticked by and they got lost in their project. Putting the plane together ended up distracting German right along with Ben. It was almost complete when Blaze appeared.
Blaze kissed the tops of their heads. “Hey, guys. You’ve been really busy. This looks so cool. Does it come with paints too?”
German spoke on their behalf since Ben didn’t make a sound. “It does, but we’ve decided we don’t like those. We plan to go shopping tomorrow and pick out better colors. These are way too drab.”
“That’s cool.” Blaze pulled out a chair and joined them. “Hey. You two are listening to our new album.”
German smiled. “You’re keeping us inspired. Dara says if your goofy ass can become a star, then any dream can come true.”
A soft chuckle rumbled from Blaze. It sounded sad. German’s hopes weren’t high. Blaze cleared his throat. “Speaking of Dara, she got really sick, and she’s gonna be in the hospital for a little bit. But you don’t have to worry, Ben. She’ll be fine and back to insulting me in a few days. Of course, you’ll be too busy to notice. German and I will be here, and we have lots of cool stuff planned. Okay?”
Ben didn’t look at anyone. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand. “It’s okay. She gets sick a lot.”
Blaze looked at German. “Was that meant for me?” He looked back at Ben. “Did you just talk to me? You never talk to me. Has German become a bad influence on you? Are you going to turn into mysister? She never shuts up.”
Ben smiled. “You’re silly.”
German’s heart melted. Life had been so unfair to Ben. He wished Dara would wake the fuck up. German didn’t want to be angry with her. Addiction was a disease. But this poor kid deserved better. German had never felt so helpless in his life.
It seemed his mom had fallen in love with German. She let them share a room. His mom never let anyone unmarried share aroom under her roof. Blaze supposed he needed to keep German now. Of course, that had already been his plan all along. No one had ever made him feel this way. German didn’t realize the truth yet. Blaze had never brought anyone home to meet his family. At least, not anyone who was more than a friend. Yet this was the second time he had brought German. He didn’t know why he had asked German to come with him that first time. That wasn’t true. He just hadn’t wanted to admit to himself that someone had finally gotten under his skin. Now he had more than accepted that. Blaze had decided German would not get away from him. No matter what it took. The guy was so fucking amazing. Blaze had no idea why someone hadn’t locked him down yet.
The bed dipped as Blaze crawled onto the mattress behind German. German searched online for nearby stores with the biggest selection of model paints. Blaze kissed his shoulder.
“Thank you.”
German set his phone aside and looked over his shoulder. “For what?”
Blaze kissed him again. This time, he held German’s stare as his lips skimmed German’s skin. “For swooping in and keeping Ben calm. You know, for being you.”
German twisted and crawled forward until he had Blaze on his back. Then he rolled to his side and brought Blaze with him so they were face to face. “You don’t have to thank me. You know Iadore that little guy. How are you, though? We haven’t really had a chance to talk.”
Blaze shrugged. He never knew how to talk about this. “Dara is four years younger than me. We’re both dreamers. I guess we saw that about each other pretty young and ended up glued at the hip.” Blaze’s throat swelled. His voice came out in a whisper when it didn’t want to work. “I don’t know how to reach her where she’s at.” He swallowed past the growing lump. “She’s killing herself. Ben is stuck on this ride with her, and I’m so fucking angry.” Blaze took a breath and fought back tears. “So fucking angry,” Blaze repeated, trying to stay on track and not cry. “She has this baby who never got to be a baby because she just fails him over and over again. My mom is stressed and doesn’t sleep. Everyone is holding their breath, waiting for a day like today to be the last one. But it’s like something died inside her a long time ago. I honestly think the only thing keeping her from ending it all is Ben. If he hadn’t come along, she would’ve given up a long time ago. Dude, I just…” God, he didn’t know. He was at a loss, and no one ever asked him how he was doing. It seemed selfish to even worry about himself with so many other people involved. He wasn’t special.
German moved even closer, holding Blaze. “You’re allowed to be hurt, angry, scared, and however else you feel. She’s your sister. Ben is your nephew. This shit isn’t right, and it isn’t fair. But there’s also a little boy involved who’s wearing a super brave face. I think maybe focusing on shielding him as much as possible and lessening the blows to his life might make you feel like you’re not as helpless as you think. There are things we can do. We can be involved and take some stress off your mom.”
Blaze’s gaze moved over German’s face. He honestly hadn’t done a goddamn thing in his life to deserve this amazing man. “We?”
German huffed. “Of course, we. We’re a team. You have me to lean on. I’m here. Put me in, Coach.” German smiled. “I bet you’d look adorable wearing baseball pants. That sexy little ass running around the bases.”
An unexpected laugh came out as a snort at German’s complete veer off topic. “You’re so weird. I never know what you’ll say next.”
German shrugged. “My brain takes seven side quests with every word I say. Even I don’t know when one sentence will spawn another totally unrelated sentence. This is who I am. I thought you loved that about me?” German pulled a fake hurt tone with that last bit. He had Blaze hooked.
A strange calmness fell over Blaze. He knew his heart. “Well, I definitely love something about you.”
