Dara shook her head and wiped her eyes. “Thank you, but no. Not only do I have to do this on my own, but I don’t plan to go here in Boston. There’s a place in Pennsylvania that’s supposed to be the best. I think I’ll do that.”
Blaze wished he wasn’t so worried, but drugs made people turn into someone else. He didn’t know if she’d lose her will before then. “That’s a long drive.”
A smile exploded across Dara’s face. “Yeah, but it’s even farther for Mom.”
Blaze chuckled. Their mom was amazing, but she could also be overwhelming. For whatever reason, she had always been twice as hard on Dara. Blaze pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “I love you.” He squeezed harder when everything really hit him at once. This had been his best friend at one point in his life. The entire situation murdered him. He swallowed. “I love you,” he repeated. “Like German said, we’ve got this.” Blaze’s throat swelled. It could be heard when he spoke. “He’s going to be so proud of you.”
Dara drew a breath and cried at the same time, making a sound that had to hurt.
Blaze took a step back. He needed to let her go. “You’ve got this.”
German took his place and gave Dara a quick hug. “You know where to find us when you kick this thing in the ass.”
She chuckled, but her voice dropped to a whisper. “Thank you so much for doing this. You have no idea how much this means to me.”
German dipped his chin. “I’m not doing anything. Ben is coming to stay with his fun uncles for a little while. We’ll try not to ruin him too much.”
Dara laughed again. She looked calmer at German’s words. Dara took one last longing look at Ben before giving a sharp nod. She squared her shoulders and headed for the door. It was so hard to watch, but he was so proud of her. Sometimes, the first step was the hardest.
The moment they were alone again, German looked his way. They held each other’s stare. A thousand conversations passed between them without a word. They turned out the lights again and climbed into opposite sides of the bed. On their sides, they held each other’s gaze over Ben’s head.
German broke first. “I guess you got your reason for me to stay.”
Damn. That stung.
Luckily, German didn’t stop there and totally break him. “But I’d still love to marry you and seal the deal.”
Relief poured through him, followed quickly by elation. A huge grin tugged at his mouth, making his cheeks hurt. He totally forgot about German not telling him that he had accepted a job in Washington. That didn’t matter now. “You’ve got it.”
A look passed over German’s features, and he rolled from the bed. “Hold on a sec.” He grabbed his phone. In the silence, Blaze could hear the phone ringing and a man’s voice answer.“Hey, Steel. I’m sorry to do this to you after saying I’d take the Washington job, but I have to resign. Something just came up and I won’t be able to work for a while.” He nodded and listened before speaking again. “I’ve taken emergency custody of my nephew.”
His nephew. God, they really were doing this. He would make German the happiest man on the planet. German would see. Blaze was the most driven person he knew. He never failed at anything that mattered to him, and German was everything.
Chapter Nine
Thefirstfewdaysalone with Ben were eye-opening. Ben had a lot more sensory issues than German had realized. It turned out Ruth’s powering-through-life method had done more damage than good. The more time they spent together, and the more adjustments German made, the easier things got for both of him. German had honestly thought having to explain why Dara was gone would be the hardest part. Luckily, Dara had talked to him about coming to stay with Blaze and German for a while. She had done a great job of smoothing the way. Plus, Ben was just damn smart and had seen way too much for his young years. While he was still very much a kid, it seemed he was used to a lot of bullshit. German just wanted to let him be little.
For only two weeks, it had been the busiest and longest fourteen days of his life. They colored, built models, shopped for new clothes Ben would wear without texture issues, and foods he would eat for the same reasons. German also hadn’trealized exactly how bothered Ben was by loud noises, especially unexpected ones. Ben had done such a good job with the loud music when they built their model in Maine, that one had come as a big surprise in the form of a major meltdown. As hard as it was to watch and handle, each uncontrollable outburst taught German new lessons. The more he learned, the fewer mistakes he made, and the easier their days went. He missed the fuck out of Blaze. It was hard enough being apart without adding in him having a hard time finding alone time for FaceTime dates. Despite understanding Dara would be missing from his life for a while, the separation anxiety was real. Ben did not like it when German was out of sight. Oh, and for whatever reason, no one had noticed Ben needed glasses. That was a fun fact he learned when the doctor German had found informed him that was why Ben didn’t show interest in things he couldn’t hold close to his face. So, now Ben was decked out in his new glasses and—thankfully—the doctor he found specialized in helping kids like Ben. She was a pediatrician with an additional degree in child psychology. While Ben had only seen her once, things had gone really well. Ben actually fell asleep in his own bed after the doctor suggested he let Ben decorate his room and make it his space. Ben knew more about what made him comfortable than anyone else, so that made sense to German. Apparently, it worked. German wasted no time booking it to his bedroom and FaceTiming Blaze the moment Ben was out.
When he answered, it sounded like a huge party raged around him. “Hey, baby. You called!”
German’s eyebrows snapped together. He was instantly pissed off in a way he couldn’t even describe. While German had spent the last two weeks dealing with this for Blaze and his family,Blaze had been partying and getting wasted, apparently. “Yeah. Ben fell asleep about ten minutes ago. Sorry to interrupt your fun.”
German watched Blaze walk, switching his gaze between his path and the screen. He closed a door behind him, and the noises surrounding him disappeared. “Don’t be mad, baby. We’re finally getting to talk. We never get to talk.”
For some reason, Blaze’s words had the opposite effect of whatever Blaze hoped to accomplish. German fumed on the inside. He couldn’t even respond, he was so enraged.
Blaze sat. “Okay. Your jaw is flexing at double the rate it normally does when you’re upset with me. Talk to me. I can’t fix things if you don’t tell me we have a problem.”
German pinched the spot between his eyes. He had thousands of words, but every way he looked at things, he looked like an asshole. How could he bitch and not sound terrible? The situation was bigger than them. He just felt sick and didn’t know where to start. German had given up his job and maybe… “I guess you have me where you want me now so you can go back to partying and doing whatever you want, huh?” Okay, it seemed German did not intend to save face and avoid an argument.
Blaze’s expression took the wind from his sails, making him feel like shit. “Is that what you really think? We had a show tonight, and it’s getting close to the end of this thing. Everyone is tired and just needs to blow off some steam.”
German leaned back against their headboard and banged the back of his head on the wood. There was no way he could win in this scenario. He chose not to try. “Forget I said anything.”
“No.” Now Blaze sounded angry, and he was just fucking exhausted. But he had opened this can of worms, and it seemed Blaze intended to keep it open. “It seems like you’re practically accusing me of something here, and I’m not okay with that. I fucking love you. If you tell me you want me to stay locked in my hotel room every night until I come home, that’s what I’ll do. I know how much you’re sacrificing right now. Believe me, I’m not taking that shit lightly. I’m just trying to make it through one more goddamn week so I can be with you again. It’s only been two weeks and I’m climbing the fucking walls. Every time I have to make an appearance or stick around after a show when I don’t want to, I’m miserable as hell without you. Trust that I pictured this tour differently too. For sure, I’m disappointed every damn day you’re not here. So tell me what I can do to make this easier because I don’t fucking know. I’m here, feeling like the worst brother, uncle, and fiancé in the world. Meanwhile, I’m aggravated you’re not with me and then mad at myself for being selfish. So, seriously, tell me what to do.”
German saw the genuine frustration in Blaze’s eyes. His chest hurt. “I miss you.”
