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I had no such moments, because I did not treat my kidnapped Battle School children that way. I was no one's father, by birth or adoption. Marry, Ender. Have children, or adopt them, or borrow them--whatever it takes. But do not live a life like mine.
I have done great things, but now, in the end, I am not happy. I wish I had let the future take care of itself, and instead of skipping forward through time, had stopped, made a family, and died in my proper time, surrounded by children.
See how I pour out my heart to you? Somehow, you took me into your jeesh as well.
Forgive the maudlinness of old men; when you are my age, you will understand.
I never treated you like a son when I had you in my power, but I have loved you like a son; and in this letter I have spoken to you as I'd like to think I might have spoken to the sons I never had. I say to you: Well done, Ender. Now be happy.
Hyrum Graff
I.F. Col. Ret.
Ender was shocked at the difference in Valentine when he emerged from stasis at the end of the voyage. "I told you I wasn't going into stasis until my book was finished," she said when she saw his expression.
"You didn't stay awake for the whole voyage."
"I did," she said. "This wasn't a forty-year voyage in two years like our first one, it was only an eighteen-year voyage in a bit over fourteen months." Ender did the arithmetic quickly and saw that she was right. Acceleration and deceleration always took about the same amount of time, while the length of the voyage in between determined the difference in subjective time.
"Still," he said. "You're a woman."
"How flattering that you noticed. I was disappointed that I didn't have any ship's captains falling in love with me."
"Perhaps the fact that Captain Hong brought his wife and family with him had an effect on that."
"Bit by bit, they're learning that you don't have to sacrifice everything to be a star voyager," said Valentine.
"Arithmetic--I'm still seventeen, and you're nearly twenty-one."
"I am twenty-one," she said. "Think of me as your Auntie Val."
"I will not," he said. "You finished your book?"
"I wrote a history of Shakespeare Colony, up to the time of your arrival. I couldn't have done it if you had been awake."
"Because I would have insisted on accuracy?"
"Because you wouldn't have let me have complete access to your correspondence with Kolmogorov."
"My correspondence is double-password encrypted."
"Oh, Ender, you're talking to me," said Valentine. "Do you think I wouldn't be able to guess 'Stilson' and 'Bonzo'?"
"I didn't use their names just like that, naked."
"To me they were naked, Ender. You think nobody really understands you, but I can guess your passwords. That makes me your password buddy."
"That makes you a snoop," said Ender. "I can't wait to read the book."
"Don't worry. I didn't mention your name. His emails are cited as 'letter to a friend' with the date."
"Aren't you considerate."
"Don't be testy. I haven't seen you in fourteen months and I missed you. Don't make me change my mind."
"I saw you yesterday, and you've snooped my files since then. Don't expect me to ignore that. What else did you snoop?"
"Nothing," said Valentine. "You have your luggage locked. I'm not a yegg."
