My mind is working at an odd pace, almost hiccuping and fixating on things that don’t matter. I know I’m going to be hit hard at the funeral, and have sunglasses in my purse. Maybe it’s silly for me to hide my pain when I sit just outside of the MC world, yet I can’t help myself.
“Wouldn’t dream of fucking up your floors with our mud,” Arsenal grunts. “I’ve heard stories of your stun gun, girl. Are you bringing it with you today?”
“Should I?” I ask, kind of surprised any of them care about the state of my home.
It’s nice to have a place I know I’m not sharing with other omegas. While it’s been overwhelming to have the club over at all hours over the past few days, and their scents make my nose and eyes water, I know it’s not for long. These men have no intention of settling in one place.
The question remains as to whether my alphas will follow them. We haven’t spoken about the future outside of the necessities, as it feels as if it’s shimmering on the horizon, continually evolving depending on how the light hits it.
“It couldn’t hurt,” he admits.
“Can you shoot a gun?” Burner asks, almost on top of Arsenal’s words.
“Do you think that’s necessary?” Wilder asks. “Fuck. Of course it is. Devon has been off the last couple of days.”
“With good reason,” I sigh. “His brother died. Is he blaming me somehow? To answer your question, Burner, I can shoot a gun. My brother made me learn. I’m a decent shot, I just don’t like to carry it. I only have the stun gun because it was a present from his omega.”
“Wilder, give your girl a gun,” Burner grunts. “You might shoot me if I give her one.”
My lips twitch at the odd way alphas act around omegas. It’s just a gun. Still Wilder glowers at Burner as he chuckles under his breath, and he pulls a gun from his ankle.
“See how you like this one, and I’ll find you a…”
Wilder and the men around us shut up as I take the gun, check the magazine, and inspect the weapon before making a face as I think. It’s a little large for my small hand, but I can make it work. If I need to carry a firearm more regularly, I’ll need to get something more suited to my needs.
“…holster,” Wilder finishes, shaking his head. “You’re full of surprises, Marie. Damn, that was hot.”
“It’s just been drilled until I could take it apart, put it together again, and shoot with my eyes closed if necessary,” I shrug. “Tommy pointed the fucking gun at me until I’d take it.”
“I think I need to punch him again,” Storm growls, finding me a thigh holster. “I‘ll get you a gun that suits you better, along with a holster that won’t chafe at your skin.”
“Can I help?” Arsenal asks shrewdly. “There are some really great weapons on the market and off that’ll fit her hands better.”
“If the recoil won’t knock me on my ass, I’ll accept that help,” I say just as Storm nods.
I’m not going to sit around and let people make decisions for me. Tommy and Jasper enjoyed doing this too often, and I refuse to fall into those same patterns. I’m a firm believer that you have to teach people how you want to be treated.
I just suck as a teacher.
Turning away from the men, I raise my dress and get the holster situated. The men pull on their boots and get their shit together before hightailing it out of the house, much to my amusement. By the time I turn around, Wilder and Storm are the only ones left, struggling not to smirk.
“You sure can clear out a room, baby,” Wilder snorts.
“I might smell,” I tease him, knowing I don’t. I showered, dammit.
“Nah. It’s the fact that Storm and I are feeling a little twitchy today,” he says. “No one wants to get shot for catching an eyeful of our omega’s leg.”
“It seemed silly to go into the bathroom,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“You’re right,” Storm agrees. “That’s why they got the fuck out. Can we talk about the elephant in the room, please?”
“Which one?” I ask, my teeth worrying an already tender inner lip. My anxiety and nerves are on fire, and pain is keeping me centered.
“You’re stifling your feelings,” he sighs. “Youcancry if you want to. No one will be a dick to you for it.”
“Maybe not, but they’ll judge me. I’m…taking things one second at a time,” I reply. “Everything about today hurts. Fuck, even the oxygen I’m breathing seems to be made of nails. Trust me when I say, I’m feeling it and it fucking hurts. I want to be numb, but every avenue I want to take to do that leads to bad habits I’m not willing to become addicted to. It’s still going to hurt either way.”
“It will,” Wilder sighs, his hands clenching until his knuckles turn white. “I gather hugging you might make this stoicism you’re insisting on more difficult?”
