She drops it for now, but I know she’s just going to keep steering the conversation back in that direction. I understand her reasoning even if I hate it. Nothing kills a relationship faster than secrets, especially new ones, and the longer things go, the worse the fallout. This may not be exactly the same case, but the fundamentals are the same.
This entire world is new to Risa, and we’re the only ones that she can rely on. If she feels like we’re keeping things from her, she’s going to feel betrayed, wondering what else we aren’t sharing. We can’t outright lie, but we can omit, and I don’t want her starting to doubt the things we tell her, analyzing them for elusive wording.
Gods fucking damn it.
Gigi’s eyes sparkle, like she had a front row seat to my mental word vomit, watching me circle back around to exactly where she wanted me. She’s always ten steps ahead of me; has been since I was a kid. Worse, she’s damn near always right. I usually can’t see the importance behind the trivial things until it’s too late, but I’ve learned it’s not worth her smug looks when I ignore her out of spite and end up paying the price.
“Risa.”
She turns to face me as I fidget in my seat, trying to muster up the courage to talk about it, unable to find a less abrupt segue into the conversation. At this point, though, I just want to spit it out as quickly as possible so that I can go back to forgetting any of it ever happened.
“My parents sucked, too.” I swallow, nervously strumming my fingers on my knee. “Beat the shit out of me, locked me in the closet until I was completely healed so no one would suspect. Could set my clock by it; Friday’s after school were the worst, spent the weekend healing, and it was hit or miss if I made it to school on Mondays.”
Taking a deep breath, I lean forward, clasping my hands together and resting my elbows on my thighs. As my foot starts tapping, I focus on the empty tea cups on the coffee table instead of anyone’s face. “And then they went on a bender and forgot they left me in there.”
Gigi cuts in when she sees I’m about to lock up, her voice as frigid as her murderous glare. “Two weeks. The school waited to reach out to me until their second grader had been absent fortwo weeks, asking if they’d moved and was okay with donating what was left behind in his desk.”
She scoffs. “I hopped in my car, drove the ten hour trip in seven, and showed up at my grandsons’ door. Broke the window to get in when no one answered, and found the tiniest snake curled in on himself behind the bolted closet door, the inside scratched to high hell from how long he spent trying to claw his way out.”
I shut my eyes, focusing on taking slow breaths, finding it ten times harder to hear her tell the story than it was to talk about it. The phantom feeling of my fingers raw and bleeding keeps me from being able to speak, to face the mate that I swore I’d protect when I couldn’t even save myself, and still haven’t, not really. Even all of these years later, my parents still haunt me, have ruined me so that I can barely function normally.
“And I waited,” she continues, a cruel edge creeping into her tone. “When my grandsons and their mate returned the next night, I tore the three of them apart, left everything behind so he could start over fresh, and took Stryker home with me. Didn’t shift back from his viper for three months.”
Licking my chapped lips, I croak, “And when my grandparents got in her face, demanding she fork me over to them, she killed them too.”
I risk a glance up, a satisfied look on Gigi’s face. “That was the day he finally came back to me.”
Swallowing again, I clear my throat. “Because you were the only person that had ever actually fought for me... even though it meant killing your only son.”
Risa sniffs, and Gigi tuts; fussing over her and using her knuckles to brush away the tears on my mate’s face. “Now that’s enough of that. You’ll understand, though, that I had to confirm what sort of person you were if I’m going to be entrusting my only family into your hands. If you hadn’t reacted to a story like that, I’m not sure what I would’ve done.” She leans in, kissing her temple. “I don’t have too much fight left in these old bones, so someone else needs to be ready to protect my baby.”
Swiping at her damp face, Risa sheepishly reminds her, “I can’t shift, so not really some badass protector. Honestly, the only thing I’m good for is some liquid bandage to keep on tap and patch him back up.”
Gigi tosses her head back with obnoxious laughter. “Oh, my sweet girl, there are so many ways to save a person without getting your hands dirty. You let these boys keep you safe, and you save them from themselves; gods know they need all of the help they can get.” She gestures for Bane to pass her cane over, getting to her feet. “Once caught Mason over here playing with matches in the dark like a little psycho, so keep a keen eye on that one.”
Risa frowns. “I thought he didn’t meet the others until he was an adult?”
Mason groans, looking up at the ceiling while the rest of us laugh. “It was a couple of years ago, and I have told you a thousand times, Rosalie, that I was relighting the stove. You drowned that thing when you were cleaning it; it’s a miracle the ancient thing still even functions.”
Gigi shares a conspiratorial look with Risa. “See what I mean? You’ve got enough work on your plate as it is with these hot messes, so don’t stress over the fact that you can’t shift. You have three men throwing themselves at your feet willing to protect and take care of you; it’d be stupid to ignore that and get yourself killed over something as petty as trying to prove something to yourself out of stubbornness.
“You don't have to tear someone’s throat out to prove that you’re strong, sweetheart; you already have by fighting hard enough to be standing here today. Relying on people and utilizing each other’s strengths is smart, not a sign of weakness, and I can genuinely say that you’re a bigger asset than you give yourself credit for, simply by being you.”
She pats her cheek before walking my way. “While the three of them get the guest bedroom situated, how about you take me for a stroll around the garden for old times’ sake?”
Looking at the others guiltily, Bane waves me off. “We’ve got it under control.” He can’t hide the sad look that crosses his face before he conceals it. “Go spend some time with Rosalie.”
It’s like a punch in the gut, seeing the blatant longing and to know his mind has turned back to finding his grandpa dead a few years ago, to wish he had just a little more time with him. Feeling like shit for not calling in recent weeks, it’s a real wake-up call that everything can change in an instant, and not always for the better. I’ve been wasting time that I can never get back because I’d rather avoid the elephant in the room than face it head on.
And she raised me better than that.
Offering my arm, we slowly make our way out to the massive backyard. Each house in this remote area sits on at least an acre of land, a good cushion between houses and plenty of room to run in the forest that sweeps across the far edge of everyone’s property. Together, but apart; close enough that you know you aren’t alone while still having the illusion of solitude.
Gigi’s yard is immaculate, her gardener clearly gunning for a raise. The stone path from the house that snakes around the property is lined with assorted flowers in full bloom, not a weed in sight. She looks over it all wistfully, and my stomach twists with guilt.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call. I was scared to tell you that I might have messed up turning her and ruined her life, that admitting Risa couldn’t shift would make it real when I was still clinging to hope that I was wrong.” We take another curve and I glance her way subtly, seeing if she’s holding up well walking this far.
Pausing to run her fingers reverently over the petals of a lily, she asks, “Do you love her less because she’s defective?”
