“Damian?” Though she calmly addresses him, Sabrina continues to stare at the small card. “What did you do?”
Watching the friend I’ve grown up with swallow uncomfortably, a sense of calm overtakes all of my previous concerns. Frowning, I glance at Sabrina, her fingers brushing against my forearm with her free hand. But by the look on her face, I don’t think she’s messing with me on purpose. She’s trying to calmherselfdown, but her mental state is such a mess that she’s using the ability on me instead.
Leaning on the hood of the car, I loosely cross my arms and don a casual pose, subtly covering the back of her hand. As I make a point of glaring at Damian, I turn my focus on reaching out to her. Her wolf stirs at the first sign of me rooting around in her chaotic mess of energy, snapping its jaws in agitation and warning, but with a less prompting than I anticipated, it goes back to its sulking. Sabrina stiffens for a brief second before relaxing, shifting her position to rest her hand on top of my arm, thumb stroking back and forth absentmindedly as she waits for an answer.
“When we approached the city,” Damian explains, “it dawned on me that it was perfectly set up to be a safe haven for shifters. Carina offered me some advice that mirrored Sebastian’s about avoiding Raiden, which led to some questions. And she pretty much told me that unless we needed refuge and wanted to move here, to get fucked, because she didn’t owe anyone answers.”
Seconds tick by before she asks, “So this entire city is made up of other shifters?” If it wasn’t for me using my abilities to calm her down, I’m pretty sure she’d simply walk right back into that shop and take Carina up on her offer to disappear, but request it to be on a boat away from both shifters and humans alike.
There’s so much more to the statement that doesn’t need to be said. Obviously her thoughts will drift back to Jonathan, to the threat that other shifters present, and wondering if they’re all the same. If they’ll also want to kill us because we’re considered a threat to the secrecy they hold so close to the vest that the majority of wolves are unaware of their existence, or if Jonathan was a fluke. If this place can actually offer the temporary reprieve she so desperately needs, or if we walked out of one disaster and right into another.
If, if, if.Everything in our lives is made of theories and hypotheticals, but so little ever results in legitimate answers.
“I think so,” he whispers, pleading with her to believe that he didn’t have the faintest idea when he brought us here. He swallows, the red rings around his silver irises expanding. “When we were pulling up and I realized how defendable the location was, I almost brought it up, but you tensed up at Bo’s comment in the car, then again with mine in the shop. So I figured we’d keep our guards up so you could finally have a break, then once you were ready, we could talk about it.”
She purses her lips, and even though it makes my stomach turn, I come to his defense. “He isn’t wrong, Sabrina. We’re floundering here trying to figure out what the right thing to do is where you’re concerned, straddling the line between being supportive, and standing by as you self-destruct. Thereisno right answer, because you’re something we’ve never encountered before, and we’re all struggling to keep our heads above water, too.”
Holding her breath, she flits her gaze between Damian, to the card, and back at me. Coming to a decision, she tucks it in her back pocket and shakes her head, looking like she’s aged five years in as many minutes.
With a wry smile, she faces Damian, absolving him of all blame, and it may as well be a shot to the nuts with the guilt it adds to his frame. “It was stupid to hope that we could have a day of normal, wasn’t it?”
“I think we’re safe to stay if we don’t make waves. If this is a shifter city, there’s multiple species, and as we’ve learned from Jonathan and Carina, you can’t tell what someone is simply by being near them. And he only attempted to kill you because he thought you were an exposure risk, which isn’t a concern if there aren’t many humans here, or those that are, are mated to shifters. So there’s no reasonable explanation to why they’d have any issue with you over any other outsider. Sebastian clearly knows about Raiden and didn’t freak out about you being here. Hell, Carina all but offered to eat you out, so I think it’s safe to say you inspire mixed feelings.”
Slowing her breathing, Sabrina attempts to process it all, but she’s still struggling. Covering the back of her hand with my own, I use the contact to counteract her anxiety, and by the nervous glances shot my way, the others have noticed what I’m doing, but don’t call either of us out on it. It’s not an attempt to manipulate her to keep her from leaving us, but to help dull the constant ache she’s been living with for far too long. And that’s why we even came here in the first place; so she could breathe.
For the first time, she’s reaching out tomefor help instead of the others.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned by watching over her from a distance, it’s that you need to read between the lines. She wears her heart on her sleeve, so it’s easy to take everything that comes out of her mouth at face value, but it’s only because her wolf has such a stronghold over her subconscious that evenSabrinaisn’t always sure what drives her actions. She doesn’t do anything without a reason, even if she doesn’t realize what it is at the time. That’s why we keep getting blindsided by her. We think we deal with either Sabrina or her counterpart, that she’s as at war with herself as we are, but I’m beginning to think we’re looking at things from the wrong angle.
Sabrina’s wolf drove her subconscious even when the block was in place, so now that it’s free, who knows what it’s capable of? And if it’s as strong as we know it is, why would it only emerge once and not insist since that night, go back to the shadows to sulk rather than take over for her since Sabrina was so beaten down? It would be the perfect opportunity to take over her body and run the show.
But instead, Sabrina’s sitting here upset, something driving her to reach out to me for help rather than the ones that have been tripping over themselves to make her happy the last couple of days. So while I may not have figured out what’s going on, I know that, right now? She needs something she doesn’t know how to ask for, but is instinctively drawn towards the solution.
“That’s it.” Rising up, I tear my glare away from Damian to include the others. “You’re fucking doing it again, and as much fun as it is watching you dig your own graves, I’m not letting you drag her into them with you.”
Boden places his hands on the hood of the car on either side of Sabrina’s legs, caging her in as he gets in my face. “What are you talking about?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I scoff, leaning my hip against the hood. “You, Slade, and Kaige. Not a single one of you said a word after Damian’s reveal, and I doubt even he was so stupid to keep it a secret fromallof us if he had her safety in mind. So I’m betting the beta that appointed himself her bodyguard that needed to stay glued to her side because we’re near ‘enemy territory’ is in the loop and didn’t speak up either.”
When he narrows his eyes, but doesn’t deny it, I turn my attention to Damian and Slade. “You’re all so scared of saying the wrong thing and setting her off crying again, you’re putting all of the control in her hands.”
Lobbying a final condemnation Kaige’s way, my voice morphs into a growl. Because of all of them? He fucking knows. He tends to stay on the fringes of the group, but it’s because he was trained to and prefers it there. Hard to get the drop on someone that’s an unassuming part of the background.
“Isn’t that what this detour was supposed to be about; giving her a break? Not forcing her to pick if we should stay or go while she’s still beating herself up over her last call, to decide what the safest option is when she doesn't have any more information than we do.”
His jaw tenses, but he dips his head in acknowledgment, accepting the underlying insult it was meant to be. For all of his bold claims, he’s letting his adoration and respect for her cloud his better judgment.
Meeting Sabrina’s eye, I shrug a single shoulder. “So there’s a secret society of supernaturals living in plain sight; who fucking cares? Since when have you bothered yourself with the everyday life of people that don’t affect you?”
Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, but she doesn’t respond, so I push a little harder.
“You are many things, but intimidated isn’t one of them. You look people in the eye and remind them exactly why you deserve to be in the room, and those that don’t deserve your notice simply don’t get it, because you’re too busy living your best life. The fact that I even need to remind you of that proves that you need a break, so you’re going to suck it up, and let me ensure you get it. And yes, I know that grates at your nerves because you hate relying on anyone and expect them to let you down, but you can at least believe that I’d sooner jump in front of a bus than be on the same level of failure as the Hawthornes.”
Quietly, Kaige adds, “You’ve had to do everything for your entire life, Sabrina. Trust us to handle one day.”
Giving me a rueful smile, she nods. “Not like we’re really any safer on murder mountain with Ash running around, right?”
“Then it’s settled.” Slapping one hand on the hood, I step away. “Get in, we’re going to the hotel.”
