Ang turned from the fire to look at me. “What for?”
“Being such a fool for such a very long time. I was so caught up in Fin being my son, him having only one parent, and it being my job to provide for him that I didn’t realise how much I needed help. I didn’t realise how selfish of his time and attention I had become. The way I treated you and others here, I was so wrong. Because I was so scared.”
Ang stood up, picked up the chair and moved it so we were side by side. “We all behave strangely when we are frightened. I never doubted that you were a good father. And perhaps I shouldn’t have pushed in as much as I did. But I wanted to spend time with Fin, because it was as close as I could get to spending time with you.” He reached out and placed his hand over mine. “I know you will always love Sasha. That you do not share my worldview, my life choices. Sometimes, the heart does not pick wisely or in line with our wishes. But you should know that I will always be here for you. Supporting you. Supporting your family.”
That he pulled his hand away left me bereft in ways I could not fathom. With no idea what to say, I turned my head back to the fire and watched the flames die down. Perhaps fallingwasinevitable after all.
* * *
The sweat was cold over me as I opened the door and walked into our apartment. It was warmer in there, the fire blazing. Ang and Fin were at the table, studying.
“You look shattered,” Fin unflatteringly pointed out.
“Yeah.” I leant on the door for support. My two favourite people together.
“You were supposed to be making the Riders and Wingmen exercise,” Ang said. “Not wearing yourself out.”
He had a point. Damn him. “Lead by example, that’s what you do,” I said. “So I do what I make them do.”
“And they are as exhausted?” Ang asked.
“They are all a good ten years younger than me.” A depressing truth.
“Ah, yes. Youth. I remember that.” And looked at Fin. “I think we are done for tonight.”
Fin nodded. “I know my homework.” He stood and collected his things. “The stew’s in the pot, keeping warm,” he told me and disappeared into his room.
I moved over to the table. Ang was still sitting there, gathering his own papers. When he looked up at me, I leant down, thanked him, then turned to serve the stew.
Left alone to eat and recover my breath, the bowl was nearly empty when I started to wonder why my thanking Ang had involved me leaning down and kissing him on the lips. Just like I used to with Sasha. Then I started to wonder why I just wanted to try that again.
* * *
Another newssheet with missing pages. What was being hidden from us? Why was it being hidden? Probably the answer to those two questions was the same.
I recalled Ang’s question about Seven Rise Island. It was odd that he had been so keen for us to fly past and look for signs of habitation. Why? It wasn’t an inviting looking place. Only one beach and that was shale. Hard, flinty shale at that. There wasn’t much vegetation to live off either, and no trees. What could possibly be worth inhabiting that island for?
Thinking back over the last few months, I remembered reports of seafarer activity all around the coast. Everywhere. ButI’d not left this island for more than a day at any one time for anything to have happened here and I not know about it. In fact, thinking back, there hadn’t been a seafarer raid in all the time I’d been on Unkea. Clear headed for once, I realised it wasn’t just the last few months. This had been going back years.
Why hadn’t I noticed that before? Simple – too wrapped up in being a dad.
But why no raids?
Why everywhere but here?
Chapter Eighteen
3956, New Translaw Calendar
I’d like to say that I saw Fin off alone. Only I didn’t. The entire Fortress turned out. Dora was going to fly him to Murmaberg, then return alone. From there, Fin would join the overland trade route across the continent to Rhastac.
We stood on the landing platform, all circled around him, Salvadora waiting as everyone said their goodbyes. He had been a part of their lives for so long, his absence was going to be sorely felt. There were hugs and handshakes, tears and sniffs of denial. Everyone wished him well.
Standing there, watching him, it hit me. He was so different from the boy he’d been when we had arrived fifteen years earlier. He was as tall as me, but broader and strong. Confident without being cocky. He was my pride and joy. And he was about to step out into the big wide world and face new adventures, new challenges, new … everything. His pack couldn’t have been stuffed any more full. Everyone had outdone themselves in helping me to provide the things he’d need. The Quartermaster had even procured new leathers, made to measure no less, and blue, ready for college. Very unlike the beaten brown leathers he wore now.
The only things he was missing, really, was the books. There wasn’t a bookstore anywhere close by.
“I’ve put what coda I can in your account,” I told him. “There are bookshops in Rhastac, the most reliable is Charles Cook’s Books. But he’s pricey, and new books only. There are other places where you can get second-hand copies. Also, I hearthe Archives are extensive. You should be able to borrow most stuff from there. Just remember to budget carefully.”
