CJ flops down, round, pendulous breasts in tiny purple squares held together by flimsy ties. She fake smiles at Ash, who fake smiles back. Ash is furious. Not only does CJ have exactly what Ash has wanted for herself for years, a perfect partner and a perfect child, but greedy, gluttonous CJ also wants Luis, the first man Ash has mutually crushed on in ages, and had sublime sex with, and could potentially end up springing and flinging all over the place. Well. Over Ash’s dead body. Nope. No way. CJ is not about to, and never will, get in the way of Luis. Luis isAsh’s.She is going to stake her claim and then savour the victory. Lisbon Ash is no pushover.
‘I’ll do your sun lotion,’ Ash says to CJ, once Luis is done. She grabs the bottle out of his hand before he can object. ‘Luis, I think the guys want you for a game of Ultimate Frisbee.’
Ash points in the direction of the three blokes from South Africa who have become friends at CoLab, all barefoot inboard shorts, desperately waving Luis over as they push and shove each other playfully.
‘Luis, get over here!’ one of them shouts, as if on cue, and Luis looks between the two women and says, ‘Don’t have too much fun without me.’
They watch him saunter away and Ash grabs the lotion, squirting it into her hands. CJ doesn’t say anything, simply removes her bikini top, discards it, and cups her own chest to preserve her modesty.
‘OK, then,’ Ash says, as way of comment on CJ’s nudity, and CJ shrugs.
‘Easier than the straps getting in the way.’
Ash warms the cream between her palms before spreading her fingers wide and applying it to CJ’s back. Her skin is velvety smooth, the colour of deep-stained oak, a ripple of muscle sat just under the surface, hard and defined. Ash wasn’t expecting it, wasn’t expecting such firmness, such suppleness. She works the cream into CJ in rhythmic runs, up and down, curving around CJ’s sides towards that hard stomach, upwards to the gentle arch of her breast. It feels charged, somehow, electric. Even in a threesome with Simon, or group sex with Miles, women felt like more of a performance, as a way for Ash to get her man off, rather than for herself. So Ash has never been aware like this, aware of another woman’s flesh, the beauty of it, the allure. CJ is like a fine thoroughbred horse, all sinew and strength, and for a fleeting moment Ash wonders what it would be like to reach around further, to cup her chest, to run a finger over a thick, hard nipple. She shakes the notion free: she’sconfusing herself, lusting for Luis, thinking back to sexual adventures past.
‘Look at them,’ CJ says, pulling Ash from her thoughts.
Ash withdraws, wipes the excess cream on her arms, looks across to the men playing in the sand. Luis senses their attention and looks back, pulls a face and flexes his biceps like a Strongman contender, revelling in his audience. That’s more like it. Ash would like to think she knows a good man when she meets one. She might have had her heart broken by both Simon and Miles, in the end, but both relationships were good. Healthy. She felt seen and respected, right through to the end, with both of them. That’s how she knows love exists, how it feels to love and be loved. It’s holding on to that love that has been her struggle, loving and being loved without end. Anyway. Her experience tells her Luis is a good one. He’s a good man. And Ash owes it to herself to go for that good man.
‘CJ, I just want to say,’ Ash begins, and CJ turns curiously to look at her, Ash shifting so she’s at CJ’s side, all the better to see her too. ‘You can’t get in between the two of us, you know. I see what you’re doing, and I’m not going to let you spoil this.’
CJ blinks once, twice, three times. Then she says, ‘It’s adorable if you think Luis is in any way a one-woman kind of a man, Ash.’
‘I can make him a one-woman kind of a man,’ Ash retorts. She’s emboldened by last night, by what he said about turning forty soon, wanting a different kind of life. Maybe CJ doesn’t know him as well as she thinks. The little she knowsabout CJ speaks to how CJ responds to strength, looks down on those who cannot hold their own, so Ash makes sure her voice is unwavering. Ash will damned well be brave if it means CJ will actually back off. CJ cannot ruin this for her.
CJ smirks. ‘Is that so?’
‘Yes,’ says Ash. ‘You have a boyfriend. Leave some for the rest of us – or you’ll end up embarrassing yourself, babe.’
‘Babe?’
‘Babe.’
CJ shakes her head, but doesn’t say anything else. Ash has made her point: CJ needs to give Ash and Luis their space. Ash might have only just met him, but how is she supposed to test out any potential between them if she has to worry about CJ sticking her oar in? In this Spring Fling with Life, Ash is going to just go for it, is going to sleep with Luis again, and finally get on the back of his moped to see this garden and anything else he wants to show her, and that’s that. She didn’t know she felt so strongly until her hand was forced, but for fuck’s sake! CJ has a perfect life already! She can piss off if she thinks she can steal any slice of orgasmic joy Ash might have, too. She can piss off all the way.
‘This has been very informative,’ CJ says, standing up. ‘Thanks for the intel.’
Ash doesn’t reply. She doesn’t actually know what else to say. Did she really just tell CJ to leave her and Luis alone? God. It’s going to beincrediblyembarrassing if Luis actually doesn’t want to hook up again. Although, all signs point to ‘yes’, in terms of him being into Ash. Don’t they? She runs a mental list in her mind: the coffee, the looks across the room,the giggles in CoLab, the way they made love. OK, yes, Ash has nothing to worry about there. This is definitely the start of something, and she’s going to embrace every last bit of it.
Ash watches him launch himself to catch the frisbee, applauding him and letting out a whoop of encouragement. She doesn’t realise CJ is still nearby until CJ crouches down beside her again, a hand lightly on Ash’s shoulder.
‘What?’ asks Ash. ‘What do you want?’
‘Oh,’ replies CJ. ‘I just wanted to say, Ash: game on. Game. Fucking. On.’
11
CJ
Fucking hell. The nerve of that woman! The possessiveness, the naivety.You have a boyfriend – leave some for the rest of us.What was that? Who talks that way? CJ doesn’t even care what Ash thinks she knows, she is incensed, not least because CJ has now stooped to Ash’s level. If Luis knew that she’d saidgame onto Ash, CJ would die. Actually die. But then … well, what if Ash tells him she said that? Hmmm. Better to approach the issue head on, use it to her advantage. The woman who will look pathetic is the woman who gets told on, so CJ will have to ’fess up and make it sexy. Which, of course, she can do: it’s Luis. She knows him inside out and back to front. She can spin this.
CJ assesses the CoLab group and ascertains everyone is occupied: folks have gone off exploring the caves, up to the small café behind them for coffee and snacks, or are lounging contentedly on the sand reading or watching the boys play their frisbee. When the frisbee sails towards CJ she is quick-thinking enough to leap up and catch it, her athleticism making it a smooth glide through the air and a powerfullanding on the sand. The boys cheer, CJ takes a bow, and she can feel Ash’s eyes on her as she chucks the thing back in Luis’s direction.
‘Come on, then!’ one of the South Africans, Jonno, yells. ‘Let’s see a bit more of that!’
CJ runs across the sand to play, all jean shorts and tiny bikini top, cap pulled backwards over her short hair.
‘I’m not going to go easy on you lads,’ she says, and Jonno laughs, ‘That’s what we’re hoping for!’
