Esmyra didn’t appreciate her twin answering her question with one of her own. “For now.”
“Good.” There was a pause, a long stretch of silence between them as her sister’s eyes roamed over her. “Is there a reason you’re still wearing your mortal guise?”
“I prefer it,” Esmyra admitted, and it was the truth. “While I know you waited centuries for the day to claim your former self, I hadn’t. I’m still trying to get used to it.”
“Hmmm,” Syrena purred. “If that’s what you prefer, then I suppose I can’t argue. However, when we’re in front of our subjects, I request you to present yourself as the goddess.”
Esmyra gritted her teeth, her eyes tightening. “Aye.”
“They’ve waited generations to see the sea made flesh. We’re their power. We’re still their hope,” Syrena finished.
Something bitter rose behind Esmyra’s teeth. Inside her mind, the protest burned louder than words.How can I be someone’s hope when I can’t even find it for myself anymore?
Let alone for an entire godsdamn kingdom.
She swallowed hard, spine straightening even as her stomach turned. “And if I no longer want to be Kaelypso?”
The words slipped out before she could stop them, but she couldn’t deny it to herself anymore.
Syrena’s eyes widened beneath furrowed brows. “Well, you don’t have much of a choice now, do you?”
The truth of it settled like an anchor in Esmyra’s gut. “Aye.”
Maybe I’m just pretending,she thought.Maybe I’vealwaysbeen pretending, and the goddess is real while I’m the lie that lives beneath her.
“I expect you will be staying in Maerinys as requested now that you have your captive?” Syrena challenged.
Esmyra gave a tight nod, hiding the thoughts plaguing her. “As you wish.”
But inside, something frayed. Because she didn’t know how much longer she could pretend to be what Maerinys needed. She didn’t know how much longer she could stay when all she wanted to do was run.
Away from her life.
Away from her past.
And away from the heartache that seemed to leach off her back like a fucking reaper.
“What’s your plan for the elven down below?” Syrena broke the silence.
Esmyra shrugged as she blew out a breath of annoyance.
Syrena scoffed. “You need to think of the bigger picture here, Esmi. She could be the key to how we can control Lephyrin’s crown.”
Esmi.
A fire inside of her lit at the use of her nickname. The nickname her father gave her. The nickname only he and Jak used. Syrena had used it that day down at the lagoon when she was teaching Esmyra the way of Maerinys, but she didn’t think she’d said it since they met.
Now that she thought of it… she wascertainshe’d never mentioned it before.
Esmyra’s mind drifted to the Veil of Visions. The looking glass into the realm that allowed her to watch her father’s murder. The world’s mirror that only Syrena had access to for nearly a thousand years.
Her head cocked to the side, her brows furrowing as she believed to finally put some pieces of the puzzle together. The mark on her wrist, binding her life to Syrena’s, began to pulse faintly. A constant reminder of what had been taken from her, regardless of the reasoning. Esmyra’s choice had been ripped away.
Syrena gave her a soft smile, but it only put Esmyra on edge. Her chest felt tight as her thoughts clawed for escape.
She didn’t want this—didn’t want to be chained to anyone. Not even the goddess she shared her flesh with. But now Syrena was all she had. Her twin was the only person left that still recognized her as something more than a monster or a broken soul.
“I have been with you all your life, Esmyra,” Kaelypso reminded her, and she would do anything to be able to silence the goddess from speaking. “You’re not the darkness they named you.You never have been.”
