Because when you have to survive?
All you can feel is the hollowness slowly eating at your soul.
Until you no longer recognize yourself.”
Levi
Levi, 6 years old
“This is a bad sign.” I sigh as an owl hoots in the distance and the wolf growls at me. “There are no berries in here,” I tell him, moving the bushes away and showing him empty leaves. “We should go somewhere else.” That’s when the owl hoots some more, and various howls fill the night, making me wince and glance at the full moon shining brightly in the sky and lighting up the entire forest.
The wolf pack will be hunting tonight, and that’s never a good sign for me. Quickly snatching a few leaves on the way, I head out toward the small cave peeking between the two trees,serving as a good cover from the hungry wolves who search for flesh to feast on.
I should know, I’ve hidden enough from them to know their routine and my wolf might be nice…but even he has his limits, and he’s no alpha.
He won’t protect me should they decide to rip me apart.
Wolf growls a little and then follows me, nudging me with his nose when another set of howls echoes, and I roll my eyes. “I’m going as fast as I can,” I whisper to him, mindful of my steps so the twigs don’t crack under my foot and alert any other predators around me to my presence.
I mean, humans, or rather monsters, who come here to hunt and kill while firing their guns with joy whenever they manage to catch an animal.
Heinvites them here all the time.
I’ve been living in this forest for the last couple of months, ever since escaping the basement, and the wolf became my only companion.
He showed me the lake where I drink water and bathe sometimes because Mommy taught me that I should do it every night. He helped me find this cave as well, and he’s the one who found all the food for me.
It’s mostly berries, mushrooms, and sometimes leaves. He brought me birds and rabbits a few times, but I could not imagine eating them while they are still breathing. Besides, all the blood made me sick.
At first, I thought he was huge. That was before I saw his pack and understood he must be a baby just like me. He doesn’t stay with me for long, just a few hours, and then goes back to the other wolves.
Every time he takes me out to explore more of the forest, I think he’s searching for a way out for me. It seems like an endless maze, with no escape.
I stay deep in it, though, and don’t wander any closer to the house where the monster still lives and hosts parties because he has a lot of guests.
Even though everything in me screams to go closer and maybe search for my little sister, I resist the urge.
If he catches me, he will kill me, and then he wins. I can’t disappoint my mom like this.
Despair envelops me, but I shake my head and focus back on the situation at hand.
Emotions, as Mama called them, are a weakness, and I can’t be weak.
Weak animals don’t survive in the wild. They’re hunted and killed.
I’ve learned so much about the outside world in all this time, exploring everything I could and remembering all the stories Mom told me.
The world is beautiful even if it’s so scary.
I scratch at my arm, sighing at the sight of new bruises that are also a constant in the wild. My only clothes are the ripped pants and a shirt that have become too small for me, and I wonder what I will do once more time passes.
I always pray at night.
Pray to the gods, Mom said, asking for help and mercy to get out, just like they sent the wolf to me.
I believe there will be a way for me to survive.
“You should go back,” I tell the wolf. “I’ll be fine.” I raise my hand and wait for him to nuzzle it before running my fingers through his fur, giving him a light pet. I always ask for his permission to touch him.
