Yet what’s the alternative? We’re at an impossible impasse. I’ve made my choice and taken my stand, and if he doesn’t want to take that stand with me…well, like he said, I guess that’s it.
“It’s late,” I murmur as we emerge from the air lock. “I need to get some sleep.”
Rather than immediately go to my quarters, I stop in the kitchen first and open the commissary locker. Nothing costs credits here, but that doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. I rummage through the allotted daily luxuries and pull out a small bottle of glenshade. Curling my fingers around it, I carry it to my quarters.
Xavier is asleep, so I don’t turn on the light. I plop down on my bed and twist open the bottle. Fire burns my throat as I sling back the alcohol.
The trained soldier that he is, Xavier snaps into consciousness, sitting up in his bed. “What’s wrong?”
“Cross and I are over,” I say dully.
He wipes the sleep from his eyes, seeking me out in the darkness. Although his voice is groggy, there’s no uncertainty in it. “No. Cross loves you.”
“Love has nothing to do with whether you’re together or not.” I take another swig. “He asked me to run away with him.” Another swig. “I said no.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because we’re gearing up for a war, and sometimes your responsibilities take precedence over your emotions.”
“So you’re just giving up?” It sounds like an accusation.
“Don’t fucking start with me, Xavier. I’m not giving up. I’m choosing to dedicate myself to something bigger than what I feel for Cross. It would be easy to run away with him. But I can’t abandon the people here.”
My hand is shaking so wildly, I almost spill my drink. I swipe viciously at the glenshade pouring down my chin.
Xavier picks up the comm that I set on the table and checks the time. “It’s almost two in the morning. Are you sure now is the time to start boozing?”
“Since when do you care if someone wants to indulge?”
“You’re right, I don’t.”
He leans forward and holds out his hand.
I slap the bottle of glenshade into it, and he takes a long sip.
“So how drunk are we getting?” he asks. “Just enough to put you to sleep or enough to knock you out for a couple of days?”
“How about a month?”
Military Personnel File: Jakob Hess
Year of Birth:2129 OE
Date of Death:9 NE
Age at Death:29
Block:Tin
Rank at Time of Death:Captain
Cause of Death:KIA, Sun Post bombing
Service Record:Exemplary
Posthumous Recognition:
Captain Hess was posthumously awarded theCommand Medal of Valorfor injuries sustained in combat and was remembered as a heroic officer who demonstrated remarkable courage and leadership until his final moments.
