“Probably not,” she agrees.
“Thanks.”
Tana laughs. “The new man never wants to hear about the old man. But it’s okay to feel hurt and to mourn.”
God, this does feel like mourning. I gave Cross so many pieces of myself. I showed him the bloodmark I’d kept hidden my whole life. I bared myself to him and then refused to run away with him. I’m not allowed to be upset. I have to let him go for real.
I take a shaky breath, the tears drying up. “Thanks, Tan.”
“Always.”
I think we’re good now, she and I. I no longer feel the resentment and anger emanating from her very soul. I think she’s in a better place, and as a result, so are we.
I’m glad she’s here. With Uncle Jim gone and now Wolf lost to me, she’s my oldest friend. The only link to my old life, and the only tether in this damn world that stops me from feeling like I’m completely adrift.
Gray skips breakfast. I don’t see him at lunch, either. I quiz Saint and Henley, who tell me the Authority has been in the war room all day. I wonder if this is about Adrienne’s secret meeting last night.
With Travis Redden.
The Authority must know about it.
Right?
It’s nearly impossible to concentrate on the weapons class I’m teaching this afternoon, which probably isn’t conducive to gun safety. Eventually I tell Zak I don’t feel well, and he waves me off, saying to get some rest. I return to my room and do my best not to dwell on what Jasper showed me last night.
I almost reached out to Cross this morning. The urge was so strong, I couldtasteit. But I resisted. If he’s sleeping with somebody else, then he’s clearly not locked on me anymore, which means I can’t be locked on him.
There’s only one man I care about seeing right now, and that’s Gray. I need to look into his eyes and make sure he’s all right. That he’s not mad or resentful of the knowledge that Cross and I were more serious than he’d thought.
But Gray is nowhere to be found, and my impatience has reached peak levels by the time he sends me a comm.
I want to take you somewhere tonight. Can you be ready after sunset?
I stare at the screen. That’s all he’s going to say to me? He caught me crying over another man last night, he avoided me all day, and now he wants to take me somewhere?
Still, I’m quick to respond.
Of course.
Meet me in the hangar.
I end up seeing him prior to sunset, as he joins us for dinner in the mess hall. He rakes a hand through his hair and wearily sinks into a chair. As he settles beside me, his hand brushes mine on the table, only a light caress, but his touch feels like an electric shock. I welcome the contact, realizing just how much it upsets me, the notionthat I’ve upsethim.I don’t want Gray to feel hurt, ever. I want him to be happy.
“Everything okay?” Henley asks in amusement.
Gray groans. “The war room is really living up to its name today.”
That gets a laugh from Evlynne. “How so?”
“Adrienne and Kallister are going at it.”
“Over what?” I ask, a frown pulling at my lips.
“She’s proposed a mission. A risky one,” Gray admits.
I stiffen. This can’t be a coincidence. She met with Travis last night, the leader of the Continent, and now she’s proposing a high-risk mission that has Kallister, one of the most levelheaded people I know, arguing against it?
“What’s the mission?” I push.
