The kind of love that anchors you and sees right into the messy core of you.
Or the kind that pulls you toward growth and a better version of yourself.
Our minds always seek to simplify the world around us in order to make sense of it, but maybe the heart isn’t meant to be confined to one neat and tidy category. Your heart doesn’t have to make sense, because love doesn’t fucking make sense.
“I’m scared,” I say against Gray’s chest.
He pulls back. “Scared of what?”
“Saying it back.” The words come out in a rush.
“Saying you love me.”
I nod, tears stinging my eyelids.
“Because a part of you will always belong to him.”
My hands fall from his chest. “Yes.”
He doesn’t even blink at the answer. Doesn’t flinch. All he says is, “I know.”
My gaze finds his. I expect to see anger or resentment, but all I find is acceptance and understanding.
“I’m not asking you to forget him. I hope that eventually, you will. That he’ll just be a distant memory that doesn’t have any hold on you.” Emotion ripples through his voice. “And I hope that one day I’ll be able to give you every part of me, too. But neither of us is there yet.”
I absorb his words. They make me feel better, knowing he’s still holding something back, that we both are.
I meet Gray’s eyes again. “I do love you. I don’t know when it happened, but sometime during this year, you sort of grew on me.”
He gives me a faint smile. “I know exactly what you mean.”
The past isn’t something I can erase. Cross owns a piece of my heart. I can’t not love him, not when he’s been a part of me since I was six years old. But there’s space in there for Gray, too.
He bends his head and presses his lips to mine. It’s soft. Sweet.
I lean into him, clinging hard. “Ace?”
“Hmm?” he says against my hair.
“This is probably going to ruin the moment, but…” I swallow. “I’m the one who almost killed Hawkins.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then he startles me by laughing.
“Of course.” He sighs.
Before I can explain, both our comms buzz at the same time. Frowning, he reaches for his and checks the screen. He spits out an outraged curse a second later.
“What is it?” I ask in concern.
Without a word, he twists the comm to show me the Dagger-wide alert from our new leader.
To: All Blue Dagger Base Personnel
From: Kallister Ash
As I’m sure most of you are already aware, earlier this afternoon Order Five was invoked and subsequently passed. The Authority has been disbanded, and Adrienne Knox has been removed from leadership and detained in the cells.
After thorough review and consideration of the events surrounding the Bramble Base ambush, I’ve concluded that the prisoner’s reckless actions directly resulted in catastrophic and irreparable damage. Anything less than the highest punishment would be a failure of our duty to the lives we lost that night.
