I slumped, stuck to the seat with tears and snot, and I heard the thump of Gideon’s big body back in his seat.
“Let that be a lesson to you in future,” he snarled, giving my rear end one last massive spank.
He was breathing heavily as I whimpered, and then there was silence for long moments as I rearranged my skirts. I did not know whether I hated sitting by Gideon or Ada more, so I settled for trying to squeeze myself into the corner as best as I could.
“We will not be inviting Brother Bartholomew to dinner,” my husband said. “He would be preaching at us, and I’m afraid I cannot stand that kind of tedious affair."
"It would be very insipid," Ada agreed sourly.
She kept darting little angry glances at me. Was she feeling jealous of Gideon’s insane behavior?
I could not believe such disrespectful words about a man of God, but I said nothing.
"However," Ada went on, "wewouldbe able to do it properly this time. We now have plenty of money for a good dinner, most likely the kind he has never seen before."
“Quiet,”Gideon said.
Oh, so there’s money for fine dinners, but none at all to fix the massive sagging sinkhole in my room, I thought bitterly as the carriage rolled home.
But I had become a little wiser now after these hard long weeks, and said nothing.
I wanted to spend the ride thinking about the sermon, but I was not even permitted those few minutes of peace.
When we got home, Gideon stalked off on long legs to his workshop, and Ada and I went inside.
"Keep your legs shut," she snarled at me. "I do not want you dripping his seed all over the carpets."
And suddenly I knew exactly why she was this jealous.
“Angry because he comes in me and never in you?” I shot at her. “Angry that he doesn’t want to make a baby with his mistress?”
Ada’s face seemed to flush dead-bone white.
“You impudent little strumpet!” she hissed, slapping me across the face so hard I staggered backward.
"I will have you thrown out of here," I cried, clutching my cheek and at last goaded beyond all endurance, "even if it is mysonwho has to do it!"
Ada laughed scornfully. "He’s never given anyone a son yet. Soon he will grow angry with your failure and throw you out. And for your insolence, you may stay in bed tonight. Do not come down to dinner or I'll have you horsewhipped."
Overcome with rage, I fled up the stairs and threw myself down on the bed.
Later,a servant brought a tray up for me and left it outside my door. Oh, so Gideon also agreed I should be punished?
And all I had gotten was a bowl of thin gruel.
It smelled so strongly of beef tallow that I suddenly felt my stomach give a sickening lurch, and I had to sprint to the corner of my room to vomit in the little basin I used to wash my hands in the mornings, the smell so strong I threw up again, and then again, as the uncaring darkness pressed in on me.
CHAPTER 11
Deliverance
Iresisted the idea for a long time.
Didn't want it to be true.
Truly it would be a curse from God to bring a child here, to the closed walls and shadowed faces of Grayspires Manor.
Anything but that, I raged in my nightly prayers.
