“And what if they don’t?”
“Then we will have to respect their feelings and move accordingly.”
She pulls away, looking up at me with a frown on her face.
“You want me to abandon my kids?”
“What? No, I’m just saying if the boys aren’t okay with this, we have to respect their feelings. But they’ll have to get over it.”
She steps away, raking her fingers through the front of her hair. “They are my kids, Mitchell. I’m not just going to ignore their feelings.”
Before I speak, I take in her expression. Her shoulders are tight, her face pinched. She’s in defense mode. I understand her fear of losing her boys, but something else is going on.
“Is this about the boys, or Drew?”
Her eyes widened before going back to normal. “It’s about this not being as easy as you’re making it seem.”
“No, I’m not making it seem like anything. It is easy. We are adults.”
“Adults with responsibilities. It’s not just me that's affected by this, Mitch. AJ isn’t speaking to me, for goodness' sake. Theyboth left to go with their dad.” She scoffs and shakes her head. “Andrew was right. I’m going to have to choose.”
Her words hit me like a bullet to the heart. Once again, Ella was allowing Drew to manipulate and rule her. She was doing it without even knowing it.
“So it is about Drew.”
“Are you even listening to me? This isn’t about him. It’s complicated.”
I don’t speak right away. I just watch her. All these years, I’ve always chosen Ella. Whenever she’s needed me, I’ve dropped everything to help. Even in their divorce, I chose her over Drew. I don’t regret that decision. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for this woman. I love her that much. But this time, she was going to have to choose me.
If I truly thought this was about the boys, I’d step back and allow her time to fix the issue. But I know Ella. Although AJ being angry is bothering her, this is about Drew. It’s about him telling her she had to choose.
I take a step back, holding my arms out at my sides before dropping them back down. “What will it be then, Ella? He said you have to make a choice. So choose.”
Her tears fell faster, her shoulders shaking with sobs.
“Don’t do this. Please.”
Despite the screaming in my head that this is a bad idea, I push forward. Because I needed this more than she did.
“I have loved you since I was fifteen. For twenty-three years, I’ve sat in the shadows watching you love my best friend, silently fighting a broken heart. I can’t go back to that. I can’t go back to waiting for you to see me and be with me. Not after having you.”
Her sobs grew louder. Her face is covered in tears. Everything in me wants to go to her. To pull her into me and console her, but not this time.
“What do you want?”
“I don’t know.” She shouts. She’s cried so much her nose is running, and along with her tears, snot is resting on her chin.
“Yes, you do, baby. What Do. You. Want?”
She shakes her head. “Don’t do this.”
I try a different approach. “Do you love me?”
She nods and swipes at the snot running from her nose.
“Then make your decision.”
She takes a step toward me; her hands out in a prayer pose. “I just need time.”
