“Wow, funny,” I say, despite not finding the joke the least bit humorous.
I’ll be honest, I think I might be a bit too picky. Everett is attractive, tall, and an established dentist. He has no kids, has never been married, and is a genuine gentleman. However, he has the personality of a glass of tap water. Or maybe I should say a glass of water that’s soaking a pair of dentures becauseeverything in his life revolves around teeth. Every joke is about teeth; every conversation is about teeth. Hell, even his necktie has teeth on it.
On paper, Everett is top-tier, but in reality, I’m absolutely miserable.
“So, Ella, tell me more about your business?”
Finally, I get a chance to talk about myself. That hasn’t happened all night. It’s not like he’s clogged the conversation talking about him either; he’s just been talking.
“It’s not exactly a business. I just make custom-order pastries and cakes on demand. It’s nothing major, but I love baking. I always have, ever since I was a little girl.”
Everett smiles, showing off his perfect teeth. That’s one thing this man can take pride in. He has the most gorgeous set of teeth.
“Hey, anytime you’re doing something you love, it’s important. Besides, I’m all for your business.” He leans forward as if he’s going to tell me a secret. “The more sweets your customers eat, the more of a chance they will need me.” He winks jokingly.
Why am I not surprised he found a way to bring this conversation back to teeth?
“What about your boys?” Everett asks as he takes a sip of his water. “You have two, right?”
“Yes. Fifteen and ten. They are good kids.”
“Do they have a regular dentist they see? You know, childhood dental care is very important. A lot of problems I see in adults could’ve been taken care of when they were younger.” He chuckles, placing his glass back on the table. “You know, I had a patient that...”
I tuned him out, and I don’t feel bad for doing it. It’s not like he wanted my input. When he gets into story mode, he never leaves an opening for me to respond. He genuinely just wants me to listen.
My phone goes off in my lap. I try to be a polite date by not having my phone out on the table, but in case things get weird, I keep it near me.
Looking down at the screen, I see it’s a message from Mitch.
Mitchie: How’s the dentist date going? Has he offered any free cleanings yet?
I bite into my bottom lip to keep from laughing. Glancing back up at Everett, I notice he is still deep in his story about built-up tartar he had to scrape off.
Looking back at my phone, I quickly sent Mitch a reply.
Me: Horrible.
His reply came just as quickly as mine.
Mitchie: Are you safe? Is he being an asshole?
Once again, I’m reminded of how good of a man Mitchell is. His eagerness to protect me is always enduring.
Me: No. BORING!
“And that’s when I found out that he’d never seen a dentist. Not once.”
I tune back into Everett’s story. He didn’t laugh this time, so I guess I shouldn’t either.
“Wow, that’s interesting.” Clearly, this man isn’t good at reading between the lines, because if he did, he would be able to hear the dryness in my tone.
“I have a pretty interesting job,” he says with a smile. “So many people pay thousands of dollars for plastic surgery, not knowing that a simple teeth cleaning or straightening can get them further in life. Your smile is the most important thing you own.”
“Of course.”
“I had a patient once....”
Please, for the love of all things good, can a meteor fly through the ceiling and smash me down right here.
