“Put your seatbelt on.”
She follows my command as I slide my gearshift into reverse. I wasn’t joking. I had a day full of things for us to do.
“Oh my goodness, Mitch, look at that bookshelf. Is it not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” She stops at the open stall, pointing at the maple wood bookshelf with its curved edges and five sections.
“It’s nice, but where would you put it?” I place my hand on her lower back.
After grabbing some lunch, I took El to a hand craft and artisan outdoor market. I often came out here to sell my custom-built pieces. Today I was just a customer.
We were far enough from our hometown that I didn’t care who would see us. So every chance I got, I found a reason to touch her.
She looks up at me. “I guess you’re right. What was I thinking?” She laughs her comment off, but I didn’t like the remark. She immediately backed down from her earlier stance the moment I questioned her.
Turning her to fully face me, I give her all my attention.
“I wasn’t asking that question to ruin your joy. I was just wondering where you would put it?”
She cuts her eyes down and shakes her head. “Sorry. It’s a bad habit. Andrew use to frame questions like that to make me feel dumb.”
I shake my head. “I’m not Drew. And you don’t have to apologize for reacting in the way that’s instilled in you. It’s going to take me a while to break you from the shit he planted in you. But I’m a patient man.”
I smack her ass, drawing a smile from her. Grabbing her hand, we moved on to the next stall.
“You say you’re going to break me out of the things he taught me as if we’re going to be together.”
Although her comment pissed me off, I didn’t let her know. I know El sees an expiration date with us. It’s not because she isn’thappy; it’s because she’s scared. At least that's what I’m telling myself.
“I know what I said.”
She looks over at me, her brow raised. “You know that eventually this will end, right? Like, at some point you’re going to find someone that you can be seen with and you won’t want to hide in the shadows with me.” Again, she laughs her comment off.
I stop walking and turn to face her, causing her to do the same. “You need to understand something. I will not be calling this off. However, I can’t control what you do.” I lie.
She’s not ready to hear my truth. The truth that I’m not letting her go...ever. She’s still too afraid of what others will think. Eventually she’ll realize she’s mine and will always be mine.
“If this ends, it will be because you ended it.”
She ducks her head. “I don’t want you to hold off on falling in love just for me. I won’t trap you like that.”
When she looks back up at me, I can read the fear and insecurity in her eyes. This fear isn’t just about people finding out. Ella is afraid of falling in love with me. The divorce from Drew broke more than her heart. Even the thought of how he hurt her makes my fists clench at my sides. Placing my hand on her back, right above her ass, I tug her into me. She comes willingly.
“I’m where Iwantto be.”
She stares back at me. I can tell she’s mulling over those words. She’s trying to determine if I really mean what I said. There is a reason I emphasized the word want. If I know Ella like I do, she’s going to pretend that she didn’t pick up on that. I’m not mad about it. It’s a defense mechanism.
She cuts her eyes away from me. “Alright. I’ll drop it for now, but if you ever grow tired—"
I cut off the rest of the nonsense she’s speaking by kissing her full lips. She whimpers against my mouth. I pull away from her before I give these people a real show.
“Come on. I brought you here for a reason.” I pull her alongside me.
We stopped at a few more stalls, including the handcrafted wood cutting boards I brought her here to see. We ended up walking away with two of those.
By the time we head back to the truck, the sun is setting. The sky is a beautiful hue of purple and orange. Taking the bags from Ella, I placed them in the back seat of the truck.
“I didn’t see that when we pulled up.” Turning to see what has her attention, I find her pointing to a playground close to the fairground.
It was an old-school playground where everything was made of wood and metal.
