Well then, I ask myself,what are you going to do about that?
28
TARA
I’m halfway through my third packet of ramen, absently swiping left on Tinder while Rory makes questionable relationship choices on my TV. My phone buzzes with another message from
Rob
hey gorgeous, fun fact, did you know Mount Everest grows by 4mm every year? Speaking of things growing…Netflix and chill?
I actually snort noodles up my nose. His profile pic is of him rock climbing so I guess it makes sense.
Below that there’s
Pete
Hey, ima just be open here, I’m only DTF. Recently single and cba with small talk.
I check Pete’s profile. Hm. He’s sort ofcute. In a jocky kind of way. Maybe I should just sleep with Pete and be done with it.
Pete
Oh, and I live with my mom so we’ll have to get frisky at your place.
Nope to Pete.
“Oh my God,” I mutter, switching to my conversation with
Tom
So basically I’m revolutionizing the social media landscape with an app that’s like Uber but for finding other people’s cats to pet
Isn’t that just breaking and entering?
No no, it’s disrupting the traditional pet ownership paradigm. I’m looking for investors actually...do you want to see my deck?
I’m about to explain why breaking into houses to pet cats isn’t a viable business model when someone knocks. I ignore it, too invested in watching both Rory’s relationship spiral and Tom’s impending arrest.
My phone buzzes again.
Pete
hello? Are you down?
“God, I’m going celibate!” I groan, just as another knock comes.
“Go away!” I yell, pulling my blanket fortress tighter around me. “Whatever you’re selling, I don’t want it!”
“Not even quality best friend time?”
I freeze, noodles halfway to my mouth. No. It can’t be.
“Alex?”
The door opens - because she still has her key - and there she stands, California tan and perfect hair, taking in the disaster zone that is my apartment. And me, in my pajamas at 2 PM, surrounded by instant ramen packets and empty ice cream containers.
“Oh honey,” she says softly.
