They’re not listening. They’re not listeningagain. They’re assuming I don’t have an actual plan for this and that I’ll change my mind next week.
Before I can think it through, I say something stupid.
“I actually... I have a connection. Someone on the board of the Natural History Museum.”
The words feel like a betrayal. I haven’t even talked to Alfie about his mother’s offer. But we’re ending things anyway, right? He made it pretty clear we’re not actually a thing. And it’s not like we’d be ending itbecauseof her offer, like she’d think. We’d be doing it anyway.
“A connection?” Mom perks up. Finally, something that fits her worldview. “Through the university?”
“Something like that.” The lie sits heavy in my stomach.
“Well, that changes things.” Dad’s tone shifts from concerned to considering. “Having the right introductions can be invaluable in academia. And if you decide to do some research with the natural history museum, well, that would be pretty spectacular.”
Of course,that’swhat convinces them. Not my passion or my reasons, but the possibility of networking.
“Just... think about it carefully,” Mom adds. “The best time to get on a graduate program is right after graduating and if you wait, it might not be there anymore.
“I have thought about it. This is what I want.”
Another pause.
“Well,” Mom says finally, “you’ve always had good instincts about people. If you’ve made a connection that could help your career...”
“We miss you, sweetheart,” Dad says, clearly trying to end on a positive note. “Can’t wait to see you at Thanksgiving.”
“Miss you too.” The words come out automatically.
After we hang up, I stare at my phone. On my desk, Mrs. Spencer’s business card sits like an accusation. Thecorners are worn from how many times I’ve picked it up over the last two days, considered calling.
It’s just networking, right? People do it all the time. It’s not like I’d be letting Mrs. Spencer buy me off - I genuinelywantthis.
To add to the guilt storm raging inside of me, Troy messages me.
Troy
How's summer treating you? Staying out of trouble?
I stare at my screen, guilt churning in my stomach. How do you tell your brother you're fake dating his best friend? And that last night you might have accidentally slept with him just a teeny tiny bit?
You don't.
all good! Just working and studying Living my best peaceful life
how's camp?
the kids are amazing, seriously loving it
except for this one counselor who's driving me fucking insane
she keeps "correcting" my kayak instructions
like I haven't been doing this for THREE SUMMERS
today she actually interrupted my safety demo to demonstrate "proper form"
I snort, picturing Troy's face. He's probably doing thatthing where he pinches the bridge of his nose when he's trying not to commit murder.
maybe she's trying to impress you
