“Oh, was that your twisted magic too, Speaker?” she heard herself say. “Does it work when throwing out orders, as well?”
The fear rippled stronger, deeper, because what if Nattcouldmake people obey him, what if he’d been doing that, too, all this time?! But his clenching hand had twitched on Ella’s arm, his breath heavy in the stillness.
“I cannot command obedience,” he said thinly. “I can only seek truth. And only if I look at another, and they at me.”
Ella gave another one of those grating laughs, enough to make her wince. “Oh,only,” she snapped. “And has it not occurred to you, Nattfarr, that other people might like toknowyou could do such a thing? And that you’ve been doing this to them? Tome?!”
And as her panicked thoughts flipped backwards, there was the understanding, sudden and staggering, of all the times Natt had done it these past days. All the questions he had asked. You do not remember the pledge you made? For what do you wish. Is this a small thing. You shall speak.
And then, further back, years back — Will you have me, lass. Before any other. When we are grown.
“You — you even did it with ourpledge,” Ella said, her voice hitching. “Didn’t you?
She was trembling again, blinking at where she knew him to be in the dark, and there was an odd catch in his breath, the sudden feel of his other hand, coming to grip to her other arm. “Ach, I did,” he said. “Why should I not seek truth in such a pledge. This was for your sake, lass, as much as mine. I sought to keep yousafe.”
Keep her safe. The weight of that stopped Ella short for an instant, and she had to search for a response, her eyes darting about in the darkness. “But you didn’tsay,” she countered. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this. Now, or then!”
There was another instant’s stillness, a shift of those fingers against her skin. Natt was hesitating, again, he was going tolieto her, again, and Ella jabbed a shaky finger against his hot chest, and shook her head in the blackness. “And I want the truth, Nattfarr of Clan Grisk.Youspeak truth tome.”
She could feel his chest rising and falling against her finger, the faint pulse of his heartbeat deep inside. “I did not speak of this to you,” he said, slowly, “because you did not fear me. I have been feared by most of my kin for most of my days, and it was — relief, with you, and peace. It wasjoy, to look at you, and run with you, and speak as I wished, and not have the bitter taste of fear on my tongue.”
Something twisted in Ella’s gut, alarmingly close to sympathy, and she jabbed her finger against him again. “So why haven’t you told me now. Until today.”
She could feel his replying sigh, the exhale harsh against her skin. “Now,” he said, quiet, “youdofear me, lass. Even without this.”
Oh. And he hadn’t wanted to make it worse, he meant. And the sympathy was surging again, but Ella thrust it down, gave another bracing shake of her head. Natt had lied to her. Again and again. And not just about this.
“And what about the rest of it?” she demanded. “Everything else you’re not telling me? About Alfred, about your father, aboutyou?!”
There was still more silence, broken only by the sound of his heavy breath. “It is not,” he said, “easy to speak of these truths.”
“Well, you’re supposed to be the Speaker, aren’t you?” Ella shot back. “So maybe it’s time to start speaking about the difficult things, Nattfarr. Especially to someone who’s supposed to be yourfriend,and who’s made you averygenerous offer of future friendship this week, apparently under anentirelyfalse set of pretenses!”
The silence felt very heavy, suddenly, perhaps even pained, and Ella could almost feel Natt’s eyes shuttering, blocking her away. And maybe she should have apologized, taken some of it back, but no, no, he deserved this. Didn’t he?
“Our Captain wishes to meet with us,” he said finally, his voice blank and smooth. “I shall ask him to speak these truths to you. They are as much his to tell as mine.”
He had already pulled away from Ella, setting her panic lurching high and wide — but no, he’d only gone back for that room, for his lamp. And the lamp must have gone out at some point, but a snap of his claws easily lit it again, casting a much-welcomed glow on the stone walls all around.
But Natt didn’t look at her, didn’t speak further. Just turned and started walking again, leaving Ella to rush along behind him, to catch up to the steady bobbing light.
“So why,” she made herself say, “should I believe anything your Captain says, whenyoudon’t even trust him.”
The silence seemed to settle even heavier around them, Natt’s big body gone even stiffer by her side. “I should not expect you to believe aught that Grimarr says,” he replied. “But his mate is a woman, and a true lady among the humans, just the kind you so long to be. Mayhap you shall thus hearherwords, if naught else.”
There was surely an insult in there, but Ella was fatally caught on the rest of it. There was a true lady? Here? Mated to the orcs’Captain?
“Who is she?” Ella demanded. “What’s her name? A lady of where?”
“She is the daughter of the late Lord Edgell of Salven,” came his flat reply. “And cousin to Lord Otto. And she was wed to Lord Norr, before his death.”
Ella’s mouth had fallen open, her eyes darting to Natt’s clenched-looking profile in the lamplight. She’d heard of Lord and Lady Norr, of course — Lord Norr had ruled over Sakkin Province for many years, as well as the neighbouring provinces of Yarwood and Salven. And while Ella had never met either Lord or Lady Norr, there had certainly been some scandalous whispers about them of late, especially given Lord Norr’s recent and sudden death.
His wife had him killed, the worst of those whispers had gone. His wife didn’t even come to hisfuneral.
But Lord Norr had been a particularly nasty man, disliked by his friends and his enemies alike — so his death had been largely a relief for all involved, and it was universally agreed that his successor Otto was a far superior lord. Otto had also been instrumental in signing that peace treaty with the orcs — and unlike Alfred’s father Lord Culthen, Otto had continued to publicly defend it to its many detractors, including his fellow lords.
And perhaps — Ella gave Natt another uneasy glance — therehadbeen some talk of Lady Norr and the orcs, entangled in all that. And perhaps she should have actually listened, rather than so desperately blocking out any mention of orcs, and the last gossip she could recall had suggested that Lady Norr had run off with Lord Norr’s money, and set up a new life elsewhere — that, or she was dead.
