The wrongness on Natt’s face didn’t change, his big body almost vibrating as he looked at Ella with those blank, unreadable black eyes. And again, the fear lurched up, so powerful she was going to choke on it, what was wrong,why—
Without warning Natt’s strong hand grasped at hers, pulling hard toward the corridor. And Ella willingly went, lurching along after his long striding steps, blinking in the sudden blackness. He was angry, he was furious, what had happened today, why hadn’t he told her about Alfred, why why why —
Natt drew her to an abrupt halt in the dark, still in what felt like the corridor — but after a purposeful-feeling shove of his body, there was the telltale sound of shifting rock. And suddenly, there was — air, and light so bright it hurt Ella’s eyes. Natt was taking heroutside?!
The fear screamed again all at once, so strong it was dizzying, and Natt whirled around to face her in the light, his hand snapping to his side, closing on his scimitar-hilt. “What is it, lass,” he demanded, or perhaps pleaded. “Whydo you keep shouting at me thus. Is it truly Dammarr who has alarmed you so? I told you, I shall never care for him as I do for you. I shallnevertouch him thus again, after you.”
Ella’s sudden, swirling relief at that statement was almost visceral — but it was still warring wildly against confusion, and disbelief, as her blinking eyes darted between Natt’s face, and the opening in the rock before them. He was taking her outside,outside, to the world beyond, to whereAlfredwas coming,tomorrow—
“Ach,” Natt said, giving a hard shake of his head, and he abruptly leaned in, plucking Ella’s trembly body close against his solid, reassuring heat. “I take you not —there, my lass. This is only so you may have some air, and sun, to help calm you. You are human, you need these things.”
Ella couldn’t seem to speak, but when Natt again drew her out toward the light, this time she went, following on shaky legs. Out into sun, and warmth, and air that smelled cool and fresh and astonishingly sweet.
And despite everything shouting in her head at this moment, Ella was suddenly starving for this, and her body seemed to stumble out further on its own, drinking it up. They were still high up on the mountain, but perched on a grassy little bluff with soaring stone walls on three sides — but the last side was wide open to the sky. Beautiful, deep blue sky, scattered with bright white clouds, on a level with Ella’s staring, blinking eyes.
She could feel Natt coming to stand close behind her, his arms circling around her bare waist, his chin resting on top of her head. And Ella didn’t know whether to laugh, or weep, or shout at him, or whirl around and tackle him to the earth.
But she did none of those things, only stood there blinking and breathing, while she felt Natt’s chest rise and fall against her. Alfred was coming. Alfredwanted her back. Alfred, who wanted to use her money to destroy the orcs, forever.
Alfred wanted to start awar.
“I am sorry I did not speak to you, of this,” Natt said, finally, quiet, into her hair. “I am sorry I forbade you to speak of this. I only did not wish for this foul man to again come between us, and cut off our joy. I was selfish.”
Ella should have called him to account, and said yes, you are abominable, how dare you hide such important truths from me — but she could only seem to stand there, and blink, and fight to breathe.
“And I was cruel,” Natt continued, even quieter. “To seek your truth, whilst hiding mine. You ought to spurn me, lass. You ought to shout at me, and send me away.”
But his arms had squeezed even tighter around her, saying please, don’t, and Ella swallowed hard, her eyes held to the breathtaking blue before them. This was it. One more day, before Alfred ruined everything, once again.
And gods, it hurt that Natt would keep such a secret from her. But even the thought of sending him away, now, and wasting what might be her last day here alone and in anger, was so much worse, so painful she wanted to weep.
“So when Alfred comes tomorrow,” Ella said instead, almost a whisper, “what happens then?”
“What do you wish to happen?” came Natt’s voice, immediate, behind her, and Ella swallowed again, and blinked out at the sky. What did she want to happen? Truly?
And here, between Natt’s warmth behind her, and the sky’s brightness before her, and the air’s sweetness inside her — the answer came, quiet and simple, as though it had been there all along.
She wanted tostay. She wanted to be Ella, of Clan Grisk. She wanted to be Natt’s —mate. Not just for a visit. But —forever.
But suddenly the chaos was swirling again, because what did that mean, how did that even happen, what would then happen to everything else? What would happen to Ella’s lands, her home? The money, the inheritance, all her father had done to ensure she would have it, to provide for her? What would it mean, if she threw all that away, to go live in a mountain, with an orc?!
And worst of all, what happened with the war? What would Alfred do next, if she refused to go back to him, and told him she was jilting him for anorc? The orc he’d been trying tokill, all these years?
Ella’s breath was coming shallow, her body shivering against Natt’s behind her, and she could feel his breaths too, heavy and hoarse and harsh. Thinking, perhaps, that she didn’t want to stay, and she shoved around to face him, to look up at those black eyes. Still dark, still… wrong.
“I don’t want to leave you, Natt,” Ella said, and she meant it. “I’ve loved being here with you. And I don’t want Alfred to use acopperof my father’s money on waging more war against you. And of course even the idea of another war isabominable. I just…”
She couldn’t finish, because she just — what? She wanted Natt to ask her to stay, and be his mate? She wanted him to say he loved her? She wanted him to find some neat solution to fix everything? She wanted everything, her home and Natt too, and no war or death. And that was impossible, it was all impossible, it was all ruined, once again Alfred had ruinedeverything…
“You must not,” Natt said, his voice hitching, “needs speak of this now, should you not wish. This man shall not come here until daybreak. Until this, mayhap” — his mouth twitched up, in a pathetic farce of a smile — “we shall take joy in this day together. And in my first Truth Revel tonight.”
His Truth Revel. “What’s that?” Ella asked, confused again, and Natt quickly explained, his voice still strangely stilted, how on the first night of every full moon, his father had held a Truth Revel. An opportunity for him to share his gift of truth with his brothers, to allow them to partake of it however they wished.
“And today,” Natt continued, “I have finally gained the right to do this, from our Captain. I shall host my first Revel, for all my brothers, as a true Speaker would.”
As a true speaker would. And that was enough to jar Ella’s brain out of the mess currently drowning it, and she drew in a bracing breath, and attempted a smile up toward him. “Well, that sounds like a big concession, right?” she asked, as brightly as she could. “You must be delighted, Natt. You’ll be a full Speaker sooner than you think.”
She could see the warmth finally whispering in his eyes, his exhale coming out slow. “Ach, I am pleased, lass,” he said. “But I have not yet gained this, and there is much that must needs be done. Much weight, that I did not ken should be mine to bear, so soon.”
