The orc’s gaze swept up and down Rosa’s trembling form, and he came to a halt before the lending desk. His big body gone unnervingly still all over, but for his fingers flexing against his book.
“Peace, woman,” he said flatly, his mouth pursing. “I shall not harm you.”
But even the sound of his voice was making Rosa flinch, and she backed closer against the wall behind her. “Y-you’ve locked me in,” her quavery voice choked. “Y-you want to kidnap me. You said you want me todie.”
The orc’s face turned away, something jumping in his sharp jaw. “I do not wish you to die,” he said, almost too quiet to be heard. “I ought not to have spoken thus.”
Rosa blinked, and felt her eyes drop to the book in his hand, to his flexed claws against it. “Well, you did,” she replied, just as quiet. “That, and much else.”
She could hear the orc’s slow exhale, could see it in the slight movement of his tunic. “Ach,” he said, oddly, and a furtive glance at his face showed him still not looking at her, and instead frowning down at the desk between them. “I indeed hold great anger this day at what I have done. But I ought not to have unleashed this upon you.”
Rosa could only seem to stand there against the wall, clutching at her blanket, and the orc sighed again, and gave a jerky shake of his head. “I ought never to have made you this bargain last night,” his voice said, harder now. “I did not understand the strength of what came upon me. I have heard my brothers speak of this, but I thought myself too wise to be swayed thus. I was foolish, and now we both must suffer.”
Rosa’s gaze had caught on his, searching those regretful black eyes. The words felt genuine, his voice felt genuine, but —
“You mean, you’ve never done that before?” she heard her wavering voice say, before she could clamp her fool mouth shut. “Truly?”
Because — her thoughts shifted back — he’d been so damngoodat it, so instinctive, so assured. Even if it had been play-acting, he’d known just what to say, just where to touch, and even the memory of his sharp, gentle claws against her neck was sending a strange, hurtling shudder up her spine —
His mouth thinned, and he again looked away, his throat bobbing under his grey skin. “I have not,” he said, “with a woman.”
Rosa was briefly, momentarily stunned — that couldn’t mean what it sounded like, could it? — but after another moment’s searching his tense, taut profile, she was abruptly, inexplicably sure of it. This orc hadn’t had a woman before. But he had had others, clearly other orcs, and likely easy and often. And that could not,not, be a flare of jealousy, curdling in Rosa’s gut —
But suddenly it was entirely forgotten, trampled deep below, because thatwasa shocking new truth, wasn’t it? And one that hadn’t even been hinted at, in all Rosa’s sources. Males taking other males, blatantly defying the firmly held laws of every province in the realm. And while that alone probably wasn’t enough to start a war, it was —something.
Rosa’s head was pounding, following the erratic pace of her heartbeat, and she gulped for breath, for a nonchalance she didn’t at all feel. Maybe — maybe she could do this after all. If she could just focus. Plan.Think.
“Well, whydidyou offer that bargain to me, then?” she made herself ask. “If you knew it to be so risky, and you don’t evenlikeme?”
Her voice had come out sounding damnably plaintive, enough to draw the orc’s frowning eyes back to her face, and away again. “I was only — curious,” he said, clipped. “I wished to know the truth of this. I seek to study these things, and learn. I seek to help my brothers.”
Oh. And in the chaotic mess that was currently drowning Rosa’s brain, the most powerful wave of all was just more deep, dragging misery. He truly hadn’t wanted her. He truly didn’t like her. And perhaps it hadn’t even been a bargain, after all, but something just as cold, just as calculating. Academic curiosity. Research.
And Rosa herself had done it for the exact same damned reason, hadn’t she? So why the hell did she care, why did it matter, she needed to focus on her own research, her own plans.Do not fail me…
“I seek to help you also,” the orc said, quieter now. “I do not wish you to die, for my folly.”
Rosa could barely seem to breathe, blinking down at the lending desk, and there was another sigh from the orc, heavy and resigned. “No harm shall befall you in my care. Once this is done, I shall return you safely to this library, and this man.”
This man. Lord Kaspar. And Rosa’s breath only seemed to come shallower, her hands clammy, her eyes darting reflexively to her pile of sources, and that horrible letter hidden inside.Take whatever measures are required. Even should they result in the temporary closure of the library… I shall return on the first day of the month…
She had three weeks. And that could be — should be — enough time to learn what she needed to learn, while also dealing with her… predicament. It made perfect sense, it was the only logical solution, but…
“But,” Rosa heard herself say, her voice strange, stilted. “I can’t —trustyou. You don’t like me, you’ve been rude and cruel to me, you fully admit to using me for your own ends, and I don’t even know yourname.”
And gods, why was she harping on this, why wasn’t she just saying yes, take me away, doing whatever had to be done — but here was why. In the thundering, breath-catching truth of this huge deadly obnoxious orc, striding around the desk toward her, and sliding his hand against the back of her neck. Sinking those claws into her hair, tilting her face up to look at him.
Rosa’s eyes were trapped to his black hooded ones, and her whole body felt suddenly taut, warm, waiting. Desperately needing this, somehow, this awful orc looking into her, seeing deep into her weak, broken, terrifiedsoul.
“I am John of Clan Ka-esh,” he said, quiet, the words sparking light and colour into his mesmerizing eyes. “And you, my little pet, shall come with me today to my mountain. Will you not?”
Rosa could only blink, and stare, while the words and the warmth and the hunger seemed to wash away all the screeching chaos at once. While the orc leaned slowly, purposefully closer, oh gods ohhell, and brushed a soft, gentle kiss to her parted, gasping lips.
“You will come with me, little rose,” he said again, his voice all silken rising heat. “Yes?”
And curse her, curse Lord Kaspar, curse the entire damnedworld— because Rosa could only seem to swallow, and nod, and breathe. She would face this. She would be worthy. Shewould.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I will.”
