Simon huffed a heavy sigh, his hands clenching against his thighs. “When Ibuyyou thus,” he said slowly, “I test the ways of the Skai. Should I have wished you for a true mate” — he exhaled, his jaw again grinding — “I should have hunted you. Failing this, I should have led a rut upon you, as Ulfarr said. These are the ways of the Skai. It is only thiscontractthat escaped this for you. You arenomy true mate. You are only woman Ipay.”
Right. Maria swallowed hard, not quite able to speak, and she watched blankly as Simon’s hand snapped up behind his head — and then flipped out thatdagger. The dagger he’d somehow still been wearing in hishair, and he twirled it in his clawed fingers, frowning down at its flashing steel blade.
“When Skai orcs break our ways,” he said, deliberate, as though weighing each word, “the Enforcer seeks truth, and then chooses their fate, as he sees fit. His justice holds great power, and stands above all claims. Thus” — he exhaled, slow — “when Ulfarr seeks to steal you after I claimed you thus, he plays Enforcer withme. He takes my own mantle upon himself, and thus mocks me and judges me before my kin.”
So Ulfarr’s horrid behaviour in the corridor had been an attempt atpunishment, then. A public challenge against Simon, for presuming to enforce his people’s adherence to their ways, while also apparently testing those ways himself. By accepting Maria’s proposal as he had, without the hunt required by his clan. Without the…rut.
“And do I want to know,” Maria whispered, “what a rut is?”
Simon’s shoulder jerked a shrug, and she watched his finger test the sharp tip of his blade, hard enough to draw a bead of blood. “I would choose a band,” he said, “and we would each have you. Me first, and last. When you swell with son, the orc who has fathered it keeps you as his own.”
Maria’s stomach roiled and churned, her eyes gaping at Simon’s harsh profile. “You wouldn’t,” she gasped. “Would you? Trulydothat to a woman? That’s — that’s — and how would any womaneverwant you again after that, and how would you evenknowwhose son it was, I —”
She belatedly clamped her mouth shut, whipping her head back and forth, as though to thrust the vision out — but thankfully Simon didn’t seem to take offense, and shrugged again as he flipped his dagger from hand to hand. “We smell this, oft only hours after it is done,” he said. “And ruts are no oft held now, for most Skai would rather hunt a mate, and thus be sure to keep her. But” — his chest hollowed — “this is yet the way of our clan fathers, from many ages past.”
Goodgods. Maria could only gape at him, shock clashing against sheer disbelief — but as she stared, it occurred to her that this wasreluctancein Simon’s form, his face. That he hadn’twantedto do that. That he was testing his own clan’s ways, to avoid doing that. Risking his own place of power among his people. Giving his long-time rival a chance to publicly move against him.
And while Maria surely shouldn’t care about Simon’s horrible-sounding job, or the fact that he was risking it by flaunting his people’s horrible-sounding rules — she also, perhaps,understood. More than she’d understood yet in this exhausting, utterly bewildering day.
“So why can’t you just… enforceUlfarr, then?” she asked. “Denounce him, or fight him off, or whatever you do, and put him in his place? Surely, this whole situation today would give you valid grounds to do so?”
And maybe that was pure presumption on her part, wildly inflating her own importance in this — but Simon gave a sharp nod, his hands spinning the dagger so fast it was a silvery blur. “Ach, it shall now soon come to this,” he said toward it. “But I no dare risk this battle yet. There is work I first need finish. Work I must no leave undone.”
Maria felt her head tilting, her brow furrowing. “What does that have to do with anything?” she asked. “Can’t you just finish your workafteryou deal with Ulfarr?”
Simon shook his head, his gaze fixed to his still-spinning dagger. “With this battle,” he said, “comes another way of my clan. Should I fail to win this fight for my place as Enforcer, I shall lose all.”
Lose all. There was something about the way he’d said that, the finality biting on his tongue, and Maria studied his harsh profile, the blankness in his eyes. “Lose all?”
“Ach,” he replied, clipped now. “All. My blades. My goods. My mate, should I have one. My son. Mylife.”
What?! Maria’s mouth had fallen open, her body snapped to utter, chilly stillness under the fur. “You mean — you would fight Ulfarr to thedeath?!” she demanded, her voice shrill. “And if he won, he would then takeeverythingthat’s yours? Even yourmate, and yourchildren?! And your clan wouldapproveof this?!”
Simon’s nod was slow, deliberate, and Maria had to haul in air, breathe over the renewed churning in her gut. “That’sbarbaric,” she choked, before she could stop it. “Your clan soundshorrible. Appalling.Disgusting.”
Simon’s eyes had suddenly narrowed, angling sharp toward her, and he abruptly jerked to his feet, up, away. And it was as though the barrier had slammed back down between them, thick and impenetrable, reeking of angry, bitter judgement.
“Ach, and what ofyourpeople?” Simon sneered over his shoulder. “Theyno freely kill, and steal, and swear their cruel ways in ink? They no crush those beneath them with their laws and their lies? They no fight war against my kin that goes back beyondmemory?!”
Maria winced, and Simon whirled to face her again, his shining dagger now gripped tight in his flexing fingers. “My clan isdying,” he hissed at her. “At the hand ofyours. You no see why we cling to our ways, in the face of this? You no see why we cling to what power we find, when we mustmatewith humans whodestroyus?”
Oh.Oh. And while Maria might well have argued, perhaps, that one cruelty didn’t merit another, that women surely weren’t out there actively murdering orcs, that orcs had done plenty of murdering themselves — instead she only sat there, struck still and silent. And thinking, oddly, of — herhusband.
Her husband, with his ceaseless vendetta against these orcs. Her husband, who indeed created and enforced cruel laws, based on little more than his fear. Her husband, who so desperately wanted to start anotherwar.
And for her husband’s sins, Maria was actively seeking vengeance upon him. Spitting in the face of his weakness. Clinging to what power she could find.
And sitting here, blinking up at Simon’s stony eyes, it occurred to Maria thathewas doing it, too. He’d already risked his job — and perhaps hislife?! — by agreeing to do this with her, and now he was clinging to what power he could find in it.Obey me. Come. Suckle. Honour me before my kin.
And Maria had sworn that to him, written it in ink, in the way of her people, herhusband— and then she’d turned and openly condemned him. Said all those furious things.Vulgar. Crude. Awful. A coarse, hideous, dim-witted tyrant.
I hate you.
And it wastrue, and he was just an orc, she wasn’t supposed to care — but Maria’s loincloth-clad form had somehow lurched up off the bed, straight toward Simon’s rigid, watching body. Not knowing what the hell she was doing, what she was thinking — at least, until she hurled herself full against his solid chest, one hand clinging around his stiff back, the other slipping up to find the safety of his rapidly thundering heart.
“Thank you for explaining all this to me,” she heard herself whisper, into the warm skin under her mouth. “I — understand, more than I did before.”
She could feel his chest rising and falling against her, the race of his heartbeat slowing beneath her fingers. “Ach, I ken,” he said finally, his voice rough. “You know not me or my ways. I must better speak of these. I must learn how to better teach you, amidst all yourfeeling.”
