It sounded like pleading, like he was begging Maria to agree, to obey — but she couldn’t, shecouldn’t, and it almost hurt to shake her head. To see the disbelief, thepain, in his watching eyes.
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I can’t, Simon. I need to stop those letters. And by staying here” — she gulped for air — “I’m only calling down more war upon you. I’m putting your kin’slivesat risk. I’m giving my awful husband everything he wants. And…”
She bit her lip, not wanting to say it, not now — but Simon was waiting, staring down at her, the darkness swallowing his eyes. As if he already knew, and Maria was speaking her truth. She wasn’t hiding anymore.Skai.
“And by staying here, I’m still —yours,” she whispered. “Which means I’m still at risk from Ulfarr. Our son is still at risk. But if we leave, we’re no longer yours, right? And therefore —”
But Simon’s face, oh gods, it looked suddenly hollow, haggard, broken. Like Maria had somehow struck at him, defeated him.Destroyedhim.
“Ach,” he said, his voice rough. “You no trust me to keep you safe.”
Maria swallowed hard, but didn’t deny it, couldn’t. Not after everything today. And in truth, not after all else she’d seen from Ulfarr, too. As long as orcs like Ulfarr were allowed to walk free — and to make legitimate deadly claims on other living, breathing people — Maria wasn’t safe here. Maybe no one was.
Simon’s eyes had squeezed shut, his throat convulsing — and his big body abruptly pulled up, drawing away from her. Leaving a chilly, hanging emptiness behind — and when he lurched to his feet, dragging on his trousers, his back purposely turned, it felt like something had shattered in Maria’s belly, sharp and brittle and sickening.
“It’s not that I don’t want to stay,” she said to his stiff shoulders. “Or that I don’t want to return, after, if you defeat Ulfarr. It’s just —”
But Simon’s shoulders only hunched higher, his hands now clenched to huge fists at his sides. And there was the understanding, swift and forceful, that he was hurt, angry, insulted. Because Maria had just implied — had she just implied? — that maybe hewouldn’tdefeat Ulfarr. That her loyalty to him was dependent on his ability to defeat Ulfarr. That she would wait out his fight to the death, andthenpick a side.
And again, perhaps even worse, she’d just reinforced how much she didn’t trust him. If she would rather take her chances away from him, on her own, in a world that would surely loathe and fear the son she carried. In a world that would surely attempt tokillher son, without question or remorse.
It suddenly felt like Maria’s skin was crawling, her eyes fixed to Simon’s stiff shoulders — wait, did he think she was throwing away theirson? — and without thinking, she leapt out of the bed, and staggered toward him. Flinging her arms around his stiff back, pressing her wet face against his warm scarred skin.
“I still want our son, Simon,” she whispered. “I’ll do everything I can to keep him safe.”
The words felt fervent, solid, true, pressed into the furious beat of his heart. And for an instant, Maria was sure he would turn, relax, gather her close, find a way through this —
But instead, he —laughed. The sound bitter, mocking,cruel, ringing through the room.
“Ach,youshall keep our son safe?” he sneered at her, and it was like the words were deep dragging daggers, flaying her bare. “You, who have spoken false to me again and again, in the face of all I have borne for you? You, when you even now seek to break your pledge toward me? Your own human words, sworn inink?!”
Sworn in… ink? And even as the truth of that began trickling, unfurling into Maria’s churning belly, Simon had already jerked away from her, lunging toward his shelf. His shelf, where that contract had still sat so carefully atop his pile of papers. That contract, in which Maria had sworn… to obey him. To honour him. To remain here, until their son was born. Tostay.
And as Simon clutched the contract into his clawed fingers, there was another realization, pitching heavy into Maria’s gut. He had…wantedthe contract. He hadn’t trusted her to keep her pledge, perhaps — but he’d trusted in the power of these new, foreign human ways. In the power of these… words.
I wish you to seek these new ways with me. Find new future. Find peace.
Maria blinked hard, fighting for air, opening her mouth to speak — but it was too late, too late, Simon gripping the contract in his claws, and…tearingit. Ripping it straight down the middle, and then again, and again, and again. Until his clean, bare floor was strewn in shreds of paper, in the broken, bitter remnants of all Maria’s empty words.
“Simon,” she heard herself say, choked. “Look, I swear, I —”
His bark was loud, grating, furious, and he hurled the last bits of paper to the floor at her feet. “No,” he hissed at her. “No more, woman. No more lies. No more games. I can no —”
His mouth snapped closed, hard enough that Maria could hear the clack of his teeth, and his head whipped back and forth, his eyes squeezed shut. “I am Enforcer,” he said, and it almost sounded like a prayer, like a refuge, like a final barrier crashing down between them. “I am Enforcer of Orc Mountain. I bear no trap. No game. No more humanlies!”
And Maria had to speak. Had to salvage this, somehow, make new promises, find new ways — but Simon didn’t want her words, her promises, herlies. And what could she say, what could she do, what defense did she have, defeated…
And Simon saw it. He knew. And with one last, sneering snarl from his lips, he spun on his heel, and left.
32
It was an empty, endless night. Spent entirely alone in Simon’s room, with no respite, no relief. Even sleep wouldn’t come, no matter how Maria tossed and kicked under the fur, no matter how fervently she whispered her truths into the darkness.
She had to run. She had to deal with the letters, with the war, with her husband. Simon had made her Skai, and a true Skai would never sit back and allow war to overtake their kin, their home. They would keep it safe. Defend it to the death.
And — Maria wiped at her eyes, glared up into the empty blackness — shecouldn’ttrust Simon. He’d lied to her, too. He’d played his own games. He’d signed that damned contract under false pretenses. He’d put her at risk. He’d yelled at her, overpowered her, Enforced her…
The water kept leaking from her eyes, and Maria dragged in a broken, hitching breath. No. No more lies. She’d wanted that. She’d craved that. It had brought her peace, like it so often had. LikeSimonso often had. With his teaching, his patience, his…kindness.
