“But itislike being trapped,” Stella gasped. “Like it’s never going to end. Like this baby is trying todestroyme.”
Something twisted in Gwyn’s belly, and she choked back the almost overwhelming urge to demand more details about Stella’s symptoms, or suggest possible solutions. Because she still wasn’t Stella’s midwife, and Stella hadn’t once shown any interest in changing that, either. And while Gwyn strongly suspected that was entirely Silfast’s doing, she’d made a concerted effort to respect that boundary, and give it a generous berth. To be a friend, and only a friend.
But Stella was gulping for breaths now, her hands clutching against her face. “We used to be sohappy,” she choked. “Before. When I felt like myself. When I didn’t know how much Silfast wanted a son. When I thought he actually wantedme.”
Gwyn winced and shook her head, about to point out that surely Silfast wanted Stella — but again swallowed down the words. Because shehadseen Silfast and Stella together around the mountain multiple times now, and despite the orcs’ ongoing freedom regarding such things, she hadn’t yet witnessed any actual intimacy between them. Had she?
“I’m so sorry, Stella,” Gwyn said finally, helplessly, and she felt her hand reaching out, rubbing against Stella’s shoulder. “And I’m sorry if this is overstepping, but I know from experience that pregnancy can be so, so hard — not only on women, but on their relationships, too. It’ssocommon, but no one ever wants to talk about it. Fearing that they’ll call down the gods’ wrath upon their pregnancy, or their child’s life, or some other suchbollocks.”
It came out far more scathing than she’d meant — her patience for such superstitions remained very thin, especially when they affected women’s health — and Stella gulped another sob, her head twitching back and forth. “But what if the goddessdoessee how I feel,” she gasped. “What if she’s decided I’m too weak? And not worthy? Of Silfast, or the Bautul?”
Gwyn bit back the curse that was bubbling in her throat, and kept rubbing Stella’s shoulder. “Not a chance,” she said, as firmly as she could. “You told me yourself that the goddess wants the best for her Bautul followers, right? And Ivar believes that too, and he’s the wisest person I know. Which means that you certainly wouldn’t be punished for suffering, or seeking help, or being honest about the difficulties you’re facing. The goddess would want you to be healthy, and safe, andcontent.”
Stella didn’t protest, but didn’t raise her head, either. And too late, Gwyn realized she was probably on shaky ground speaking so authoritatively of the goddess, whom she’d only just begun to know — so she pulled in another breath, and searched for something else. Something not a midwife would say, but a friend. A friend who’d also been trapped and frightened. A friend who understood.
“You know,” she said slowly, “have you ever thought that perhaps a change of scenery might help? My house in Varrahan is still empty — for another week or so, at least — and it’s not a long journey. You’d be welcome to spend some time there — and Silfast too, if you like? It’s bright, and clean, and the garden is walled in, and would offer you a chance to continue getting some activity, too.”
Stella didn’t reply, but she hadn’t refused, either, and Gwyn kept talking, feeling the idea take shape in her thoughts. “The house likely won’t be mine after next week anyway,” she said flatly, “so someone might as well use it until then. Perhaps you could even take a look through my plants, and see if there’s anything Joarr’s scouts have missed bringing here?”
Stella’s face had actually turned toward Gwyn at that, her wet eyes wide with surprise. “But — it’syourhouse,” she said, her voice thick. “Surely you’ll want to go look it over yourself? Especially if you’re planning to — to sell it?”
Her forehead had briefly furrowed, and Gwyn felt herself grimace, her mouth twisting. She hadn’t yet told Stella about Roy and his horrible threats, and she wasn’t sure she could bear to, either. Great-Aunt Agnes had left that house to her, for her midwifery practice, her new home. And as much as Gwyn had chosen her new path here, it still hurt to think of her cozy little house burned, or sold, or lost, forever.
And clearly Stella had followed at least some of that, because she shook her head again, burying her face back in her hands. “It’s a lovely offer, Gwyn,” she gulped, “but I couldn’t. And even if I could, it’s surely not safe. Not with all these men crawling over the forest, seeking to capture us. To — todestroyus. That law is coming in three days, and there’snothingwe can do about it. Nothing the orcs can do. Even Silfast, he —”
Her voice frayed as she spoke, breaking into more harsh, gasping sobs. And Gwyn’s useless, helpless brain couldn’t seem to produce any kind of reply — at least, nothing beyond herbs, sedatives, some attempt at an easy fix. But this surely wasn’t an easy fix, Stella wasn’t a client, she was afriend, she was terrified, she wassuffering— and suddenly Gwyn just wanted to start sobbing, too.
“I’m so sorry, Stella,” she whispered, her hand almost frantically stroking at her shoulder. “I’m so, so sorry. I wish I could help. Wish I could make it end. Take this all away for you.”
And at that awful, perfect moment — with those incriminating words coming out of Gwyn’s mouth — something new rushed into the hut. Something huge and deadly and growling, looming tall and terrifying over them, and nearly spitting with rage.
Silfast.
“How dare you, woman!” he barked down at Gwyn, his eyes alight with black fury. “Iknewyou meant no good for my mate, or my son. But this is beyond all reason! Beyondforbearance! You threaten tokillourson?!”
What? The urge to cringe backwards, to cower, was almost overpowering — but Gwyn’s sheer indignation held her in place on her stool, her eyes blinking up at Silfast’s outraged face. “I threatened no such thing,” she snapped back. “I was only seeking to —”
To comfort her, she was about to say, but good gods, that would surely betray Stella’s confidence, wouldn’t it? Or perhaps even put her at risk, from this huge enraged orc? And behind Silfast, Stella was indeed looking deeply horrified, her hands clasped over her mouth, her head shaking back and forth — and Gwyn clamped her own mouth shut, and searched for something,anythingto say, to help…
“I would never suggest termination at this stage,” she gritted out, finally, around her shallow breaths. “Unless the situation was dire. It’s far too dangerous for the mother.”
But surely that was the wrong,wrongthing to say, because Silfast’s deep, vicious bark seemed to shake the hut around them. “And what of the danger to our son!” he hollered at her. “How dare you speak of such foul deeds before him, and thus tempt the goddess’ judgement!”
And wait,wait, this orc was actuallyespousingthis nonsense, in front of his pregnant mate, who was already miserable?! And Gwyn could havethrownsomething at the bastard, and she abruptly leapt off the stool, away from his rage, his appallingstupidity.
“Your son doesn’t care about a damned thing we say, and neither does your goddess,” she snarled back at him. “And the only person tempting judgement here isyou, because I’m feeling anextremelystrong urge to spike your next drink with henbane, so maybe you’ll finally be obliged to smarten the hell up, and shut your damned foolish mouth!”
Silfast’s answering growl was truly terrifying, his huge body advancing toward her, his claws and teeth bared — when somehow, out of nowhere, there wasJoarr.
And Gwyn hadn’t even seen him come in — how had he come in? — but she had perhaps never been so relieved to see him, or to feel the close, coiled stillness of his tall body against hers. Or, even, to see that cool mask slipped over his eyes, that chilly, deadly smile curling across his lips.
“You touch her, fool,” he said to Silfast, his voice clipped, “and I kill you where you stand.”
27
For an instant, Gwyn was certain there would be another battle. More blood, more agony, tainting this precious garden, defiling it, while she and Stella helplessly watched.
“No,” Gwyn gasped, and whether it was to Joarr, or Silfast, she didn’t know. “Not here. Not now.Please.”
