“I’m happy for you.”
Jeff grinned. “I’m so glad we’re going to have two more years to do this together. Me and Bobby, you and Dr. Sexy, all of us one big happy Burnett U family.”
Min froze for just a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for her best friend to notice. She pulled the top of the dress into place and stood with her back to Jeff, waiting for him to zip her up as he had so many times before. He moved her hair to one side over her shoulder and carefully zipped the dress closed.
When she turned around to face him, all his giddiness had leeched away. “You’re not staying are you?” he asked.
“No,” she said.
“Where did you apply?” he asked, looking at his feet.
“Nowhere yet,” she said as she reached for her lipstick. “I’ve been looking at a few literature programs in Providence.”
“You can’t be serious.” Jeff was quiet, his eyes narrowed as he took her in. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the new name for the theater, does it?”
“No!” she said, too quickly, too defensively. His eyebrow shot up and she sighed. “Not really.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, at some point, you have to decide. You have to say ‘this is what matters to me’and you build your life around those things.” She applied the color in steady even strokes, carefully painting her lips a bright, bold red before reaffixing the cap and setting the tube down on the vanity. “And what matters to me is making my own future, not something that’s handed to me or that can be taken away because of who I’ve slept with. I want a life that I can live out in the open – a family and a career I can rely on and I don’t have to lie about. Which means, I don’t want to build my life around performing.”
She didn’t say the next part, the words that scared her too much to speak aloud – she didn’t want to build her life around performing,except with Liam.Stupid, impossible notion. You could not make a career out of performing for only one conductor. But the truth was, she didn’t want to perform with anyone else. Which meant she didn’t want to perform enough to continue down this road.
Jeff’s gaze narrowed, his brow drawing low over his eyes. “Bullshit.”
She laughed at the unexpected response. “Excuse me?”
“Bullshit,” he said, his eyes sparkling again. “I heard you just now. You just did some fucking phenomenal singing, doll, and you loved the heck out of doing it.” He was right.It doesn’t change anything.Jeff pressed on. “You’re at the top of one of the best programs in the country. Why wouldn’t you keep making your music –“
“It’s notmymusic,” she said before she could stop herself. Jeff cocked his head, confused. She leaned against the vanity table next to him, focusing her attention on her hands as she pulled at her fingers. “It’s not about the music I make, Jeff. It’s the music I make with him.I don’t know if I can replicate it with anyone else.”
“You don’t even want to try?” he asked.
She shook her head. “And I don’t want to spend another two years as his dirty secret, either.”
“Come on, Mel. You know he doesn’t see you that way. Any idiot can tell he doesn’t see you that way.”
Min shook her head. “Still.”
“And ifheasked you to stay?”
A loud rap at her dressing room door drew their attention just before the door cracked open. Bobby poked his head into the room, his hand clasped over his eyes. “Everybody decent?” he asked before peeking through his fingers, “Damn, you are,” he laughed as he dropped his hand. “We’re wanted stage left,” he said with a smile, holding his hand out to Min.
She took his hand. “Then we better not keep them waiting,” she replied.
Jeff slid off the vanity, following them out into the backstage hallway. “I’m not done with this conversation, missy,” Jeff called after her.
Min replied over her shoulder, “There’s nothing more to say. I’ve made up my mind.”
Bobby and Min rounded the corner, slipping into the darkened wings as the scene on stage wrapped up. Bobby leaned in, whispering to her, “Everything alright?”
“Perfect,” she whispered back, flashing him her best performance-ready smile.
“Then let’s go break some hearts.”
Chapter Thirty-three
Liam wrapped his arm around Min’s waist and pulled her tight against him in bed, his chest flush against her back, her hips pressed to his pelvis as one leg slid easily between hers. He nuzzled his face into her hair, breathing in the botanical scent of those silken tresses mixed with the musty scent of their love making still hanging in the air. Min sighed happily, half asleep already, and lay her hand over his where is pressed to her belly.
