“The only good thing about any of it is that as shitty as Mel looks in that video, Aidan looks worse. Houston revoked their offer for him to join their young artist program and rumor has it his dad’s cut him off. Funny, the only one who isn’t getting ripped a new one because of that video is you, and yet here you are acting like you’re the only one who had their world blown apart.”
“I just need time,” Liam repeated the words to Jeff that he’d spoken to Min a week prior.
Jeff pushed off from the car and took a step closer to Liam. “Look, Dr. J, here’s the thing. I’m shit at relationships so I’m not one to give advice. But I know Mel. She doesn’t trust easily, but she trusts you. At least she did. The moretimeyou take, though…” he shook his head and huffed out a breath. “Fix it. Before you lose her.”
Liam watched as Jeff walked away, unable to draw a full breath – did Jeff mean he hadn’t lost her already? Jeff’s words rang in Liam’s head as he steered his car onto the parkway and took the exit to Noah’s apartment. He couldn’t be alone right now - not with the image of Min in pain pressing at the back of his eyes - and he couldn’t go home when his house was haunted by her scent, her memory.
Noah answered on the second knock, gesturing for Liam to come in and immediately pouring him a drink. But Liam didn’t want a drink.
“What the fuck do I do now?” Liam asked his friend as soon as they were both seated.
“You could start with a shower,” Noah said with a smirk.
“Not helpful,” Liam replied.
“You’re Liam fucking Jacobs. And you got knocked around a bit this time, but it’s time to get back up –”
“And dowhat?” Liam held his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees.
“Go get your girl,” Noah said, like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like Liam hadn’t wanted to go to her since the second he’d asked her to leave. But he had nothing left to offer her.
“You were right. I lost everything I ever worked for.My father was right. I couldn’t have her and the music.”
“Woah,” Noah stopped him. “Your father most definitely wasnotright.”
Liam barely heard him. “He always said this would happen. I really thought I could build something here.”
“You want to build something? Then go! Build! Nothing’s stopping you. It might not be a fancy-ass conservatory program like you imagined, but I’m guessing you’re a little disillusioned with those at the moment anyway,” he said.
Liam grunted, knowing Noah was right, but that didn’t change the hollow feeling in his chest. He’d spent his entire life trying not to make the same mistakes as his father and that was all gone now. Thrown away because he got distracted, because he let himself hope that he could have the music and the girl if he just compressed them into one space, one passion.
“He always said –”
“Liam, stop. Your dad was a selfish asshole and he didn’t know anything about you.”
“He knew I’d fuck it up,” Liam said miserably.
Noah exhaled a curse, tossing back his drink. “You’re so focused on the semantics. Creating a more successful music program than your father isn’t going to prove jack shit, and you know it. You really want to prove to the world – to yourself – that you’re a better man than him? Thenbea better man than him.”
Liam glanced up at his friend, his brow furrowed as he tried to follow Noah’s logic.
“All your father cared about was the music, and it didn’t matter to him who he hurt along the way. Nothing was ever as important. He made that choice – his music over your mother, his affairs over his family – but that was a choice, not an inevitability, andthat’s not you.You’re already ten times the man he ever was – so start fucking acting like it.”
It couldn’t be that easy. He couldn’t just decide he was going to be better than his father and then… be better. Could he?
For the first time in a long time, he allowed the other voice in his head to speak, the softer, gentler voice, the one that reminded him of baking with his mother, of the first time he heard Debussy: What if he didn’t have to choose?
His mouth opened and closed uselessly as his mind tried to accept this new thought, tried to reconcile it with the things he had known to be true his entire adult life. What if he could have both?
“Love isn’t a finite resource, man. And you know it. Did loving Melynda make the music any less?”
“No. Loving her makes it so much more.”
Noah dropped back in his chair, his rocks glass dangling from his fingers, the ice tinkling as he gently swirled the glass. “This is one fucking job, Liam. It’s just a job. It’s not your life.”
I want a life with you, Liam. Not a career.The memory of Min’s words ripped through Liam, sparking across his skin with the sheer potential of all they could have together if he would just get out of his own damn way.
That night, Liam slept in his bed, wrapped in blankets that still smelled of Min’s skin, pressing his face into pillows holding the lingering scent of her hair. And in the morning, he knew what he had to do.
