“But it could,” her mother said, throwing down her butter knife. The clang as it hit her breakfast plate rang out in the mostly empty hotel restaurant, making Callie jump at the harshness of the sound. “I will not leave you all by yourself!” Her mother’s hands shook as she reached for her tea, her chest rising and falling with her too-quick breaths. Her voice was low and ragged, like the words were being pulled from her very soul. “Aunt Donna lay on the ground at the foot of her back steps for two days before someone found her. Two days before themailmanheard my baby sister calling for help. She never should have been alone, not in her condition. If her good-for-nothing husband hadn’t been so busy diddling his secretary—Who leaves a woman with a heart condition? I warned her not to marry him. He was a skirt chaser, just like—” She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head.
Just like Noah,Callie filled in, the lump in her throat becoming almost too much to breathe around.
“I’ll never forgive her for not telling me he’d moved out, for not letting me help her. She was furious that I’d moved to New Jersey with your father and left her behind. She was as stubborn as you are.”
“I’m not Aunt Donna.” The first tear rolled down her cheek, her throat choked by an unspeakable sadness for her mother.
“No, she was only alone for two days. You had three. I chose my own silly dreams over the people who should have been the most important in my life once before when I took up with your father and left my sisters. And look where that got me? Halfway across the country and traded in for a younger, shinier model with perfect hair and perfect makeup and—” Her mother stopped herself and took a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was strangely calm.“I’ve found a lovely condo just outside of Dayton, not far from Aunt Shirley. You and I will be very happy there.”
Callie shook her head. “I’m not going.”
“Really, Calandria, this is tiresome.”
She fought against the wave of overwhelming grief that swept over her for her mother. She’d let herself be controlled by that grief for too long, though. “I’m not going, but you should. And if you don’t, that’s on you. You don’t get to blame me for your unhappiness.”
Her mother’s eyes grew wide and her neck flushed. “I’m not unhappy.”
“I hope that’s true.”
“I don’t know why you’re getting so worked up about this. You’ll find another job. There are libraries everywhere.”
“It’s not about finding a job! New Jersey is my home. It’s where my friends are. It’s where I grew up. It’s where I want my kids to grow up.” She stopped short, realizing what she’d just said.
She hadn’t put much thought into having children—certainly had no immediate plans or prospects to become a mother—but she knew in her bones that it was true. She could picture it: a chubby little boy learning to walk, hazel eyes gleaming and a laugh just like his father’s…
Her mother arched an eyebrow. “And Noah wants this, too? He’s going to walk away from a tenured professorship and settle down in New Jersey?”
“We haven’t—it’s still too early for us to be talking about things like that.”
“Things like what?” Noah asked as he dropped into the empty seat next to Callie, Liam and Min joining them as well.
“It’s not important.” Callie forced a smile and dashed away the tears that lingered at the corners of her eyes.
His eyes narrowed, searching her face, until she looked away, turning her attention to her uneaten breakfast. She was too raw from the conversation with her mother to put up her usual cheery front, and she couldn’t handle letting him in any closer than she already had. Thankfully her mother didn’t seem inclined to fill him in either.
“Melynda, I really must thank you for that wonderful book recommendation,” her mother said, turning to Min as though she hadn’t been engaged in emotional warfare with her daughter a moment before. “My book club has not stopped talking about it.”
“Hey,” Noah said, leaning close so only she could hear as the others continued their conversation. “You okay?”
Callie gave a tight nod. “Fine.”
∞∞∞
Callie barely met Noah’s eyes all through breakfast, and each time he tried to touch her, she stiffened beneath his hand. What had happened between the night before and when he arrived at breakfast to make her pull away? Not that he should care. It was all just for show. Except for that kiss under the stars, and when she’d held his hand. There had been no one around to see those things. He had no one to blame but himself for the bright flash of anxiety in his chest that he was somehow losing her, because really, it was a ridiculous thought. You can’t lose something that you never had.
They rode the elevator in silence, but the second their hotel room door closed behind them, she ripped off her shoe and flung it across the room with a violent cry.
“What the—” The words died in his throat at the sight of the tears spilling down her cheeks, her fists balled so tightly she was shaking. “Callie, come here.” He pulled her into his arms. She didn’t return the hug, just stood in the circle of his embrace vibrating with the intensity of her emotion. He stroked her hair and kissed her temple. “What is it, love?”
All at once she clasped him to her, her shoulders shuddering as silent tears turned to great gulping sobs. She buried her face in his chest, tears soaking his shirt. He crooned nonsense into her hair, desperate to comfort her and not entirely sure how.
“What happened?” he asked when her sobs had slowed to intermittent shuddering breaths.
She shook her head against him, her fingers digging into the back of his shirt.
“Calico,” he murmured, sliding his hands into her hair and tilting her face up to him. He brushed his lips over her tear-stained cheeks. “Are you in pain?”
She winced—just barely, but enough that he caught it—and shook her head.
