“I’ve never felt this way before,” he began tentatively, testing the veracity of the words. He took a breath and kept going, trying not to think too hard about what he was saying, or the implications of meaning every word. “She’s chaos,” he said with a chuckle, “but she’s also sunshine and laughter and she looks at me like maybe I could be too.” He took another sip of his drink, an excuse to swallow down the lump in his throat.
Uncle Stu clinked his rocks glass against Noah’s, but the look on his face made it clear he still wasn’t convinced. “Then here’s to Callie.”
They drank, but the cool liquor did nothing to calm the blood racing through Noah’s veins. Admitting to himself that he had feelings for Callie was terrifying because it would never last. It couldn’t. One way or another, love never did. Not that he loved her. Not yet, at least. There was still time to stop it from getting that out of hand.
But what if he didn’t stop it? What if it didn’t need to be all or nothing—casual sex or devastating love? If he were honest with Callie from the start, told her that he wasn’t capable of forever… It wasn’t what she deserved—Christ, how he knew it was nowhere near what she deserved—but maybe she’d want him anyway?
Chapter 16
Callie paced in their hotel room. She’d been on edge since Noah had stepped into the shower with her earlier that evening, but after a dinner full of little touches and heated glances, the implication in his voice when he’d asked how she wanted to spend the morning, she was so turned on she could hardly stand it. There was no mistaking the hard-on he had sported while he shaved her legs, or the path his lips had taken up her thigh before they were interrupted. He wanted her. The knowledge was a high all by itself.
And so what if it was tempered by her absolute certainty that he would never be hers—not really, not the way she wanted him to be. Not in the lazy-Sunday-mornings way she’d fantasized about. But what if they could have something else? What if she could find out, once and for all, what it was like to be the object of Noah Van Aller’s desire? What if she could share that part of him, even for a little while? He was going to get this job and he was going to leave whether she wanted him to or not. What if they could spend these last few days together for real before she had to let him go? Wasn’t having him for a short time better than never having him at all?
When the week was over and everything went back to normal, she was going to be heartbroken. She already knew she’d miss holding his hand, sleeping wrapped in his heat. How much worse could it be if they crossed this final barrier? More to the point, did she care if it destroyed her?
No.She’d gladly make that trade.
Callie didn’t know how long she had before Noah would come back to the room, but she resolved to make it as hard as possible for him to turn her down. She unbraided her hair, brushing the auburn strands until they only held soft waves. Then she stripped off her clothes, tossing them into the growing pile spilling out of her open suitcase and slipped beneath the sheets of their bed. She buried her nose in his pillow, breathing in the smell of him—sage and leather-bound books.
Her hands skated over her breasts, pulling at her nipples until they hardened to stiff peaks, each twist sending bolts of pleasure arrowing down between her legs. She took her time winding her hand down her body until her fingers brushed the neat patch of hair covering her mound. She didn’t need to touch herself to know she was wet, but she did it anyway, moaning when her finger lightly brushed over her clit. If she lingered on that swollen bud she’d come too quickly, and she needed to draw it out so she could be sure he’d find her like this—wet and aching for him. The idea of it, of him coming into their room and discovering her touching herself, was nearly enough to make her come all by itself.
Callie rolled to the edge of the bed and threw open her suitcase—the only one she always kept zippered—revealing the small stash of toys she’d brought with her. Just the basics, the quietest and most reliable pieces from the large collection she’d curated over the years. She selected one of her favorites: a stainless steel, double-ended G-spot wand.
Settling back amongst the pillows, the thin sheet still draped over her body, she guided the smooth, curved piece of metal over her skin. It was cool to the touch. That was part of what she loved about this particular piece, the way it simulated ice on her skin. At each end of the curved metal bar was a round knob, one larger than the other. She’d start with the smallest side, she decided, dragging it through her slit to warm the end of the toy and get it wet and ready for her.
When she slipped it inside her pussy, her walls contracted around it, her body shuddering in anticipation of the relief to come. Slowly she worked the toy in and out, the curve ensuring it brushed against that tender spot on her front wall with each pass. Callie wanted to go slow, to take her time and stoke her pleasure to its highest point, but the more she moved the toy, the harder it was to restrain herself. She arched off the bed, moving the toy faster, deeper, a cry falling from her lips.
She didn’t realize she wasn’t alone until she heard the door close.
Callie’s eyes flew open, snapping to Noah’s. He stood just inside the door, frozen, his eyes dark and hard, jaw tight. For a moment, she thought she’d miscalculated, that he didn’t want her after all, but then he closed the distance between them in three strides. He sat on the edge of the bed at her side and took the sheet between his fingers. He waited for her to nod, her breath coming too quickly for her to speak, and pulled the sheet back to reveal her. He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat, as his eyes raked over her nakedness, latching onto the place where that shiny metal toy disappeared inside her.
She began to move it again, in and out in a slow tortuous rhythm. She didn’t trust herself to last, not now that Noah’s eyes were on her. How many times had she imagined this exact thing? How many times had she ridden a toy to a breathtaking orgasm while pretending he was watching her? Her thighs shook as she neared her climax and he cursed under his breath, his large hand clasping her thigh and pinning it to the bed, holding her open so he could watch.
“Look at you,” he said, his gaze focused on her pussy. “So goddamn pretty.”
His voice was so low and husky she hardly recognized it, but it sent shivers over her skin just the same. She kept her eyes locked on him, even as her hand moved faster between her legs. She was so close, but no matter how fast she worked herself, she wasn’t falling over the edge.
With a frustrated grunt, she withdrew the toy and flipped it around, this time pressing the larger ball into her opening. She was so wet and ready she hardly felt the stretch as it slid inside her, and she whimpered with relief when it moved against her G-spot.
“You needed more?” he asked. She moaned and nodded, the weight of the toy making her deliciously full. “Good. Let me give you more.”
“God, yes.”
He wrapped his free hand around hers, the one holding the toy in place, and began to move it, forcing her to take it harder and deeper. His forearm flexed as he pumped the toy between her thighs, his fingers brushing the curls at her entrance, but he kept his rhythm maddeningly slow.
“Faster,” she gasped.
“No.”
They locked eyes as he continued to fuck her with her toy, keeping her balanced on that knife’s edge but never quite letting her tip over into release. She whined, bucking her hips in search of the friction she needed.
“I’m not done watching you, love,” Noah said. He leaned forward and pressed a sucking kiss to the underside of her breast, withdrawing with a nip to the sensitive skin there, his pace steady. “That’s what you wanted, right? For me to watch you?”
“Yes,” she gasped.
She shifted, pressing the sole of her foot flat against the erection straining his pants. He chuckled darkly and let her stroke him through the fabric. “You’re not ready for me yet, sweet girl,” he said. “This little toy has hardly stretched your pussy at all.”
“I have others.”
