"Lysander had killed his wife and sent his daughter to one of their schools. He agreed to work for them in the hopes that his own government would take the information he collected and take them down. When they did nothing, he turned to the enemyof his enemy in hopes of getting out of Russia and starting over. The CIA wanted to give the man asylum in exchange for information he had on Spartak." Kam breathed out slow. "Before we left for the mission, one of my men made the comment that I looked like our target. The agent in charge of the mission decided that our similarities would be a good distraction."
Kam ran his hand over his face. "I sat in as the double for Gregor just in case they got wind of his defection. Turns out the Russian government didn't look too kindly on the US military kidnapping a Russian citizen. I was the only one to survive the blast." Kam's words hung in the air. No words could take away the weight of that reality. "The CIA picked me up, nursed me back to health, and sent me back to finish the job." Not exactly the whole truth that he had shared before, but she could see the cost of sharing that much on his face.
Nalani scoffed. "So what, they just decided to kill Kam King and sent you in as Gregor hoping that you'd get the information they wanted?"
Kam shrugged.
Nalani's eyes widened. "That's why you said you were a ghost." Kam nodded, but stayed quiet. Taylor had read the report Nalani wrote about her time with Ian. All of the things that she read about Gregor made so much more sense because now she knew that Gregor was really Kam.
Kam had stood in the gap between Ian and Nalani as much as he could. The same way that he stood in the gap for Max and Paul, too. And the same way he was standing in the gap for her. If God could use Kam in those dark situations, then He could certainly use her in this seemingly hopeless one now.
Nalani got a twinkle in her eye and Taylor wasn't sure if she should be excited or terrified about the plan unfolding before her. "It's like Amelia said. We need a double. Someone who looks enough like Ian to lure Dasha out of hiding."
Kam stepped out of Taylor's arm and she immediately missed his nearness. "Except, no one here looks or is built like Ian. It won't work."
Nalani started to bounce on the balls of her feet. "I know someone who is built like Ian. They look nothing alike in the face, but we can hide that."
Nalani was pacing and talking with her hands, yet she wasn't making much sense. "Nalani." Taylor got her friend's attention. "Who exactly did you have in mind to be Ian's double?"
"Paul, of course." Nalani said it as if Paul would go along with such a crazy plan.
"You think Paul will help us stage a prison break, stand in for Ian, and risk his career and possibly his life for a chance at stopping Dasha?" Doubt infused every word Taylor asked.
Nalani walked over and placed her hand on Taylor's shoulder. "Without a doubt."
Taylor's mind raced. She couldn't possibly ask another FBI agent and friend to stick their neck out for her. She was shaking her head when Kam spoke. "I'll ask him. He and I have unfinished business we need to settle."
"What?" Taylor spun towards Kam. "Paul won't do it if you ask. Whatever happened between you two has him more bitter than I've ever seen him."
Nalani cleared her throat. "I know my brother. He won't pass on an opportunity to save lives, especially the life of a friend."
Kam took Taylor's hand, "I need to do this. I need to make it right."
The stormstill raged against the windows and roof, providing a loud droning static to the tension in the room. Max and Taylorwere bent over computers running simulations, escape routes, and mapping out a prison break. They needed to make it look real, at least.
Paul hadn't said much when Kam used the encrypted SAT phone Amelia gave him to call. He wouldn't be able to land until the storm cleared out a bit, which made the waiting harder to keep the swirling guilt at bay. The anticipation of their meeting was putting a vice around Kam's gut. If he could only get Paul to see that he had no choice and, in a way, he tried his best to save him. Ian would have rather killed the undercover agent and dumped his body in Resurrection Bay, then interrogate him for information.
Kam blew out a breath. "Hey." Taylor leaned against his good shoulder. "What're you thinking about?"
Paul's screams, the throbbing of his own hand. Kam flexed his fingers in response to the memory. "Just about the bunker."
Taylor put her hand on Kam's fisted one. "Did you do everything you could without getting you both killed?"
That was not what he thought Taylor would say, and it took him off guard. The guilt flooded his system because letting it go would make him somehow less responsible for what he did and he just couldn't do that. "Have you ever tortured someone?" he choked out the question.
Taylor flinched but didn't remove her hand. "I saw the aftermath, but you can't tell me that Ian wouldn't have done worse." Her words were soft, but landed square in his chest. They were the same ones that he kept trying to tell himself to ease the pain he caused.
Kam hung his head. "I can't forgive myself. How can I expect Paul to understand too?"
"Kam, look at me." Taylor waited as his gaze rose inch by inch until it locked on to hers. "I can stand here and tell you that you had no choice and that you made the best of a terrible situation,but those are words I'm sure you've already tried to tell yourself. Maybe it's time to lay the guilt at the cross and let someone else carry them for you."
Kam clenched his jaw, the truth of Taylor's words hitting their mark. Max and Nalani had clearly forgiven him for the role he had played in their darkest moments. Maybe it was time to try and forgive himself.
"What if I can't make it right?"
"Kam, we can spend our whole lives trying to pay for the things we've done wrong, but that won't cover the cost of those sins. True freedom from that comes only when we receive the forgiveness God gives to us freely."
Kam wrapped Taylor in a one arm hug. He would cling to those words until they rooted themselves in his heart to the point where they couldn't be removed.
