She could practically see the wheels turning in his head.
“But you can go outside during the day now?”
She nodded. “Nighttime aside, I’ve worked hard to become normal. Or as normal as I can get.”
“Stop right there. You are normal. You have fears. So what?”
“Fears that keep me from doing the most mundane things.”
Liam threaded his fingers with hers. “Raven. You are one of the most intelligent people I know. You’ve guided my team through some sketchy areas in the states and overseas. You’re our eyes out there. Your analysis skills are some of the best I’ve ever worked with. Don’t think you’re less because of your anxieties.”
Her throat clogged, and she swallowed the ball of emotion. “Thank you.”
“We all have a past that shapes us. Yours just took a wild turn at a young age.”
She stared at him, wondering if he was blowing smoke at her. But the sincerity in his eyes warmed her heart. “You really do understand, don’t you?”
“Your phobias? Not in the technical sense, but in theI’ve walked through my own nightmaressense.”
Had he intentionally opened the door for her to ask about his past?
Jade gathered her courage. “What shaped you? What nightmares are you living with?”
Staring off in the distance, his silence stretched for several minutes.
She’d hoped she hadn’t overstepped and caused him to rethink wanting to be more than friends.
Timber Ridge, Colorado – Safe House
Friday – 0700 Hours
Call Sign: Charlie One
Well,Liam had walked straight into that one, hadn’t he?
Jade—No, Raven. She’d always be his Raven—had opened up about her fears. He had a feeling she was unaware that she hadn’t muted her comm. The entire team had heard their conversation. Not that he cared, but she might. He’d muted his when they’d come outside, but he didn’t have the heart to tell her that her mic remained active. He trusted his team to keep the information to themselves. However, to reciprocate her vulnerability, he’d have to tell her about the worst moment in his life. The reason he demanded excellence in the field. He hadn’t told Charlie Team the ultimate reason he’d left Delta Force. Did he care? Maybe. But not enough to ignore Raven’s question.
“I was Delta before I received my DD-214 and walked. I had the concept for a security company rattling around in my brain and started researching business models. When I found the men who’d fit my concept, I opened BlackKnight Security.” He stared off into the morning sky, remembering those first days after his separation from the army.
“What caused you to leave? It’s obvious you love the work.” Raven shifted and placed her hand on his forearm.
The touch grounded him more than anything else had in his life.
Raven’s question still hung in the air. He wouldn’t give her a flippant answer. He’d never told anyone the real reason. But the truth had festered long enough. His men listening through her open mic deserved to know as well.
“My last op in Somalia…” His voice broke. He cleared his throat. “We were compromised. Command hadn’t relayed that intel. We found out the hard way. I called for extraction, but it was ten minutes out. I…hesitated to give the order to pull back. I mentally debated if we’d be better off standing our ground while waiting for the helo or retreating. My team was family. I wanted to protect them. It didn’t take long to discover that my indecision would be fatal. Those seconds cost my best friend his life.”
Her hand tightened on his arm. He placed his over hers. Uncertain if he’d see judgment in her eyes, he kept his gaze on the field in front of him.
“Brendan took a round to the neck where his body armor didn’t cover. I ordered the rest of the men to the extraction point while I ran to him. I tried to save him.” The weapon blasts. The chaos. The sight of Brendan’s body jerking and falling. All played like a movie reel in Liam’s mind. He released a shaky breath. “In the short time it took to reach him, he was unconscious. I knew he wouldn’t make it. But I refused to leave him behind. As I lifted him, I caught a round in the hip. It was minor, but I struggled to walk, let alone carry him. My team defied orders and came to get us. We made it to the extraction point and onto the helo, but Brendan was already gone. I came home with a Purple Heart, the Bronze Star with Valor that I didn’t deserve, and a severe case of survivor’s guilt. I failed my best friend. And to be honest, I never want to feel that kind of loss again.” He forced himself to look at her.
Tears streamed down her cheeks. “That’s why you’re so exacting about every mission detail.”
He nodded. “I swore that I wouldn’t let that happen again. When I started Charlie Team, I vowed we’d never go in with partial intel, and we’d always finish the job we started.”
“It wasn’t your fault, you know. You had no idea the mission would go sideways.” Her expression softened, and she cupped his cheek.
He leaned into her touch. “That’s why I left.” He swallowed past the lump in his throat. Unable to sit any longer with the ghost of memories rattling in his head, he stood and rushed to the railing. The nightmare played on repeat in his mind.
