When there’s a knock at my door, I ignore it at first. The only person who knows where I am is Skylar, and I’m not in the mood to deal with him today, but it comes again. Heaving myself off the couch, I pad over to the door and rip it open. “Skylar, leave me—” I stop as I meet Conan’s worried eyes.
His hand is raised to knock again, but he looks incredible. “Hi.” His eyes drop to my bare chest, since I didn’t bother getting dressed, and for a moment, he just stares before he raises his gaze to mine. “Sorry. I tried to call, but it wasn’t going through. I was concerned, so I thought I’d swing by. Are you okay?”
“I—” My mouth snaps shut.
“Mackie?” he murmurs.
I want to lie, but I shake my head. “Not really,” I admit.
His face softens, and he seems to nod to himself before movingpast me and into my apartment. Spinning, I stand by the open door as he heads inside, taking in the mess I’ve made since last night. Embarrassment fills me, but when he turns to me, there’s no judgment. “How about some food?”
“Uh, sure,” I reply, unsure what to do as I shut the door and pick up some things as I go.
He heads to the kitchen before turning to me. “Sorry, it probably wasn’t okay to just stop by,” he says as I find my shirt on the back of the couch and tug it on.
“No, it’s okay. I actually really appreciate it.” He cared enough to come over. He checked on me, and it makes my heart melt. As I stare at him, I realize Noah was right. He’s a good man. Maybe I deserve someone nice.
Maybe I should move on.
There’s no time like the present. I need to prove to myself and Noah that I can live without him and find someone else. “I’m glad you’re here.”
Conan is . . . simple. There’s no struggle, no ugly lies or truths, just him. He’s the quiet in a stormy life.
Leaning against the island, he watches me as I awkwardly stand here, unsure what to do or say.
“How about we get out of here?” Conan suggests. “When I feel overwhelmed, that’s what I do—change of environment. Let me take your mind off whatever is bothering you.”
I glance down and wince. I haven’t showered, and I definitely don’t look good enough to be at his side. He chuckles as if sensing my thoughts and heads over to me. “Go shower. There is no rush. I can wait.”
“Okay.” I hesitate. “If you, um, get bored, the TV is there?—”
“Go.” He chuckles, and I hurry off.
I rushed as much as I could, but I also wanted to look good. Sometimes if I do, I feel better, so after slipping on my leather jacket and shovingmy keys and wallet in my jeans pocket, I head downstairs, only to freeze.
Conan’s sleeves are rolled back and he’s drying off the island. My entire living room and kitchen are sparkling clean, the pots are gone, the flowers are watered, and the blankets are folded. He even fluffed the pillows.
I stop at the bottom. “You didn’t have to clean.”
He turns to me and smiles. “When I’m struggling, my house doesn’t look its best either. Sometimes it’s too difficult to do the simple things, and they become overwhelming and only add to the stress. They weren’t wrong when they said a clean house is a clean mind. It helps me, and I figured it might help you. I don’t mind if it can comfort you a little. You’d do the same for me.”
Fuck.
I could fall in love with a man like him.
No matter how nice he is to me, though, I keep expecting him to pull away, just like Noah does. He keeps proving me wrong, however, even while I look for the trap.
“You look amazing by the way,” he remarks. “Let me just put this away and we’ll go.”
I nod, and when he’s done, he grabs my hand. “Is this okay?” I nod again, and he chuckles as he grabs his stuff and tugs me out the door. I lock up, and he doesn’t release my hand as he leads me out of the apartments and to his car. Conan opens the door for me, and I slide inside. Leaning in, he fastens my seatbelt and kisses my forehead before hurrying around to the driver’s seat then pulling out into traffic.
I watch him the entire way, letting him take me wherever he wants.
Conan is beautiful in an otherworldly, old-school type of way. He also makes me feel happy and safe. There are no tricks or traps with him, just what you see. I also like the way I feel when he touches and kisses me and when he looks at me and does things for me.
I don’t love him, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to, which isn’t fair to him, but I don’t want to let him go either.
I guess I’m as much of an asshole as Noah.
