“Yes,” I whisper, and then his lips are on mine as he pushes me back. I hit the window hard. His kiss isn’t soft this time. It’s brutal and hard, filled with desire. My cock throbs in my jeans, and I shift uncomfortably as his hands slide up my arms and across my shoulders. His touch is possessive and confident as his hips press to mine, letting me feel how hard he is. I kiss him back, sucking on his tongue as I give as good as I get, wondering if he would fuck me like this.
His hands slide across my body, and the kiss deepens, my back pressed against the glass windows as I gasp into his mouth. One of his hands slides lower until he covers my cock, and my eyes almost rollinto the back of my head as he presses his hand into me. Conan glides his lips across my cheek, and then farther down, licking my neck. I cry out and grab his sturdy shoulders as I grind into his touch.
“Conan.”
“There it is,” he murmurs, his nose buried in my shoulder. “The perfect way you say my name . . . I’ve been imagining it every night. Will you say it like that when I’m inside you?”
Fuck.
Holding him tighter, I roll my hips, needing relief, but he stops and steps back, sitting on the edge of the couch. His chest heaves, and his lips are tight. “If I don’t stop right now, I’ll bend you over the couch so I can find out.”
I nod, even though I want to dare him to. He wants to take this slowly, and I respect that. Conan wants feelings before sex, but as we stare at each other, I know when we finally fuck, it’s going to be amazing, and I can’t wait.
TWENTY-FIVE
Idrag my fingers across my lips, wishing it were his brutal touch.
All I can think about is the way Mackie tasted and how he moaned my name.
I barely slept after I took him home, and even after I came four times just from playing with him, I’m still needy as hell. I’ve been trying to edit photos all day and I’ve been failing. The screen is blank now, and I can’t see anything but him. I thought I’d feel guilty, and maybe there was a shred of that, but moreover, there was this intense need to feel more.
I’ve been numb since my husband passed, and he’s bringing me back to life. I don’t even care if I’ll get hurt. I’d take it all from him just to feel something, anything, again.
My eyes catch on the picture of my husband, and I swallow that last shred of guilt. He’s been gone a long time. He’d want me to be happy. That doesn’t make it easier, and I’ll always have an edge of self-loathing for what I’m doing, but my need and growing fondness for Mackie are starting to outweigh that.
I’d been holding myself back, walking the last line of restrain out of concern over what he thought about my husband, but he didn’t seem to mind. I know he’s curious, but it hasn’t driven him away, and thatapparently unleashed the flood inside me. I’m still worried about how he’ll react when he knows the full truth and how he was involved, but that disappears every time I see his face.
He appears in my office, smiling softly as if he’s unsure if he’s welcome, but he’s hoping he is, and my heart starts to beat again. I’ve only ever been with one man before, and I loved him. I married him, and then I lost him, and ever since, I have been alone, barely existing, and then Mackie came into my life and I feel hope, desire, and worry again.
My heart is a cacophony of emotions, and I don’t want Mackie to take it away. Pushing up from my desk, guided by desperation, I stride across my office.
“Hey, sorry I showed up out of the blue. I knew you were working late, and everyone went home, so I thought we could eat while you work—” His words end in a gasp as I crash into him. I slide my hand into his hair like it’s something I’ve done a thousand times, tilting his head for me as I press my lips to his in a scorching kiss. He stumbles back into my door with a gasp, gripping my sides as I deepen the kiss and sweep my tongue into his mouth.
“Conan.” He turns his head to breathe, but I can’t move away. I taste the soft skin of his cheek and down his neck, reveling in the unique taste that is all him. Mackie groans, his hands fisting the sides of my shirt. I expect him to push me away, but if anything, he tugs me closer, and when he turns forward, his eyes are open and filled with fire. “Don’t stop,” he begs before he presses his lips to mine.
Our kiss turns feral, our tongues battling and hands wandering as we both give over to the desire we have tried so hard to control. I don’t want to ruin anything between us, but I can’t stop.
We don’t break apart as we turn, stumbling until my back hits the couch, and I sink into it. Mackie follows me down, straddling me. Our kiss is wild and uncontained, and I swallow his moans as I slide my hands down to squeeze his ass and guide him down my knees until he’s pressed against me.
“God, baby boy.” I nip his chin before sucking on his full bottom lip. “You taste so fucking good. It’s all I could think about tonight. Idid everything to hold back and take this slower. I made myself come so many times so when I saw you again, I could have control, but I’m right back here, needing you so much it hurts. You drive me crazy,” I say against his skin before kissing him and pulling back. I lean into him, my hands wandering over every inch of him as we pant. “Your daddy needs you so much. Tell me no and push me away. Have more control than I do. Fuck, Mack, tell me to stop.”
He moans at the joking nickname we made. It just slipped out, but I don’t take it back, and he turns his head, kissing me harder.
When I lean back, needing to breathe, his lips glide over my cheek to my ear. “Why would I tell you to stop when I want the same thing?” His voice is dark and breathless and goes straight to my rock-hard cock. He grinds on it, the pressure driving me insane. I could come just from him whispering in my ear as he does that, but he has other ideas as he rises and slides from my lap.
My brows tighten as I sit up, reaching for him before I realize what he’s doing.
“Mackie—” My voice is shaky as he sinks to his knees between my thighs, his eyes glistening with want, and that’s my undoing.
“I want to taste you too. You say I drive you crazy, but it’s the other way around. I need this.” Sliding his palms up my thighs, he reaches my belt and unbuckles it before arching a brow as he licks his raw lips. “Tell me no if you don’t want this. Tell me it’s too soon or that it will mess everything up. If you have any reservations, tell me right now.”
All my worries flee, leaving nothing but desire.
He might regret this tomorrow, but I can handle that. What I can’t handle is how much I want him.
“I’ve never wanted something more.” It’s the truth. “Taste me, touch me, bring me back to life.”
His smirk is almost cruel as he undoes the button on my pants and parts them to expose my boxers. Mackie drags them down, and I help him, lifting my hips. When they pool around one leg, he runs his hands up my thighs, watching his movements as he reaches my boxers and tugs them down, freeing my length. His eyes widen as he stares at mydick before they rise to mine. This time, it’s my turn to smirk as I reach down and stroke his hair.
