“Are you okay?” Mackie asks as he turns.
“Fine,” I answer as I start walking, but I know he can tell I’m not. He catches up but doesn’t speak, and I sigh. “Do you think I’m wrong for moving on?”
“No,” Mackie replies, “and not just because it’s with me, but in general. You can’t stay faithful to a dead man forever, Conan. Sorry, but it’s true. You deserve to be happy. It doesn’t mean you’ll stop loving him or forget him. It just means you have a chance to have more in your life. Don’t listen to her. Even his parents are glad you’re happy.”
I nod, knowing he’s right. “I guess I forgot for a minute,” I murmur. I can barely meet his eyes. “I forgot about him and us and before. I forgot and was just happy.”
“Oh, babe.” He wraps his arms around me, and I bury my head against his neck, sucking in his comforting scent. I can’t let him go. Despite my guilt and Penelope’s opinion, I can’t. I need Mackie.
I was empty before he came into my life, and I can’t go back to that.
I don’t know if that makes me selfish or not, but I can’t seem to care with him wrapped around me.
FORTY-THREE
I’m worried about Conan. He’s been quiet since the other night when we ran into Penelope and Todd. I’m also scared he is second-guessing us. It puts me in a bad mood, which only sours after Noah’s announcement. He warned me last night, but still.
PR thinks it is a good idea to accept the docuseries that wants to follow us around and film us on our way to the championship. That means my every move is being watched. No more stolen, secret moments with Noah, not to mention we will all have to be on our best behavior—something we struggle with in this garage. Noah thinks it’s good, though, since not everyone believed the press conference, and we could use some good press after all the rumors. I can tell he likes it as much as I do, because he hates being on camera and hates even more that we can’t have our lunch dates right now.
Plating a slice of cake for myself, I sit down with Alek and Sky, who are eating their own. There’s catering for the crew, since it’s their first day. Right now, Noah is showing them around and introducing them to everyone, and I have no doubt our turn will be soon.
I nibble on the cake as I watch them. The producer is extremely beautiful, like scary beautiful, with long black hair over one shoulder. She looks classy and knowledgeable, and it’s clear she likes Noah.
She keeps leaning into him and laughing when he speaks.
I don’t know if she’s flirting or being nice, but I’m leaning toward flirting, and I hate it.
I hate it even more that I can’t stop her without ruining everything, so I stab my fork into another bite and devour the cake instead, eating my feelings.
“Why are you eating so much cake?” Sky frowns at me.
“Because murder is frowned upon,” I mutter as I stab again, my gaze on her and on Noah.
“Um, murder is illegal. We have discussed this before, I am getting deja vu here,” Sky comments.
My eyes flit to him, and a mean smile curls my lips. “I meant what I said before, it’s only illegal if you get caught. I’m too smart for that.”
“You should not be allowed sharp objects. Okay, I’m just going to take this away.” His hand slides over, taking the knife, and he swiftly moves it away. When her and Noah head our way, he snatches the fork from my hand as well. Spinning away, placing everything out of reach just like last time. How cute we have traditions now. Who knew Skylar would be the one stopping me committing a crime, not the one helping me.
“Did you see Bones dress as a maid?” I growl, staring at Skylar angrily. “If you did and you took my weapons away, you’ll be my victim not them.”
His eyes blow wide, and he covers his junk. “Not yet, I ordered the costume but Bones still hasn’t dressed up as a maid for me yet. I have so much to live for brother, don’t ruin my dreams.”
That cools my anger.“Fine.”
He nods in relief. “Until then, I can’t die happy, okay? So why don’t you take up yoga or mediation or some shit?”
“Why a fucking maid?” Alek finally asks.
“That’s what you took from the conversation?” Skylar sighs. “Animals, all of you.”
“It’s what I took as well,” I say. “You’re a weird dude.”
“Yup, but my fiancé loves me,” he murmurs dreamily.
“Since when did he become your fiancé?” I mutter.
“Since I decided,” Skylar snaps.
