Javier smiled. He couldn’t help himself. There was no feeling in the world as wonderful as someone he deeply cared about believing him and not lies told about him.
That didn’t change the rest of the truth, though.
“The problem is, enough people out there in the industry apparently do believe the lies that it’s—” He didn’t want to say it. He absolutely didn’t want to say it. Saying it out loud would make it real, and once one snippet of reality made its way into the weekend boyfriend bubble, the whole thing might pop. “It’s affected business,” he said as vaguely as possible.
Of course, Desmond didn’t leave it there.
“How is it affecting business?” he asked, crossing his arms again and rubbing his chin with one hand, like he was leading a corporate meeting and already trying to come up with strategy and solutions.
Just like that, sweet, cuddly, plant-loving, gently subby boyfriend Desmond was gone and take-charge, solve every problem, high-powered businessman Desmond took his place.
High-powered businessman Desmond was kind of sexy, but not what Javier needed just then.
Javier pinched his face and made a suffering noise as he glanced up to the blue sky and puffy, white clouds. He wasn’t going to get around this. After protecting Desmond from his failures for nearly three months, he was going to have to confess all.
“I’ve lost more than a few models,” he admitted, still looking up at the sky. Desmond deserved better than evasion, though, so he lowered his head and met his gaze. “And a couple contracts with fashion houses and media outlets.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Desmond said, thoughts swirling in his eyes. “Didn’t you have contracts with them?”
“I did,” Javier admitted. “And maybe that’s my fault, because in my horrifically misguided attempt to create a non-exploitative environment, I had clauses that would give everyone a way out in those contracts.”
“It’s never misguided to attempt to be ethical,” Desmond said, a little too quietly, turning away and lowering his head.
Javier frowned at the gesture. He was the one who had something to be ashamed of, not Des, so why did he feel like he needed to wrap his arms around the man and tell him everything would be alright?
He went on with, “It just burns that I’ve tried to build this entire brand on transparency and fair treatment, and now I’m in danger of losing it all because someone else is lying and turning people against me.”
As soon as he said that, he wished he hadn’t. Desmond glanced up at him again with a concerned look. “Do these people you’ve been working with actually believe the lies?”
“They believe them enough to cancel contracts,” Javier said, a bit too bitterly.
“They don’t sound like the sort of people you should be doing business with, then.”
Javier appreciated his lover’s loyalty, but facts were facts. “I’m at a point in building my business where I have to take what I can get.”
“Like singing telegram jobs?” Desmond asked, the ghost of humor dancing across his expression.
Javier let out a breath and relaxed by a hair. “And stupid corporate training videos, yes.”
“But there’s more work out there, right?” Desmond went on, back into business strategist mode. “There have to be more designers and magazines you could court.”
There were, at least Javier hoped there were, but he wasn’t sure how he felt about the suggestion coming from Desmond.
“Honey, you know I…care about you,” he said, stepping forward to take Desmond’s hands and narrowly avoiding duck poop and the L word, “but this is something I need to deal with myself.”
Desmond frowned. “Why? I mean, I understand the pride of handling your own business and making something for yourself independent of help, but I clearly had a hand in creating the problem, so I would like to join you in figuring out how to fix it.”
Javier’s expression shot up so fast he was surprised his perfectly plucked eyebrows didn’t fly right off his head. “You didn’t have anything to do with this,” he said.
“Matthew did,” Desmond insisted, shaking his head, “and the only reason you’re dealing with him is because of me.”
“No, my agency was falling apart even before Valentine’s Day.”
His own words hit him like a fist in the gut. He hadn’t meant to come right out and say that. He hadn’t intended to tell Desmond how perilous things were at all. That was the entirepoint of the arrangement they had. They were supposed to be each other’s escape, not an addition to their problems.
Whatever mix of emotions Desmond felt as he stared back at Javier, and there were at least a dozen in there, it was clear he could sense at least a little of what Javier was feeling and he didn’t agree. “What do you need from me?” he asked, as serious as ever. “Do you need money? Because I have plenty of that.”
It would have been kinder if Desmond had slapped him.
