The door shuts behind him and Harper rushes over to give me the paper.
“Is now a bad time to mention he’sincrediblyattractive?” Harper asks.
I snort at that, tearing open the letter. “That he is. It’s part of the problem.”
She comes around to see what it is. “Damn, so they are all hot and generous.”
My hand starts to shake. It’s a check for three million dollars.
Rule number one.Get paid and move on.
It’s the first rule of being a sugar baby. The most important one. Take an alpha’s money and never look back. Isn’t this what I always wanted? So why does it burn like acid? It’s everypenny I need to start my alpha-free life. Is this their way of saying they are done with me? Have I ruined everything?
The memo has one word: Happiness.
Attached is a small note.
It was, and always will be, you. — Zachary, Hunter & Alric
Chapter 30
Madi
Six days later
Saturday
Ichange my mind a hundred times a day on whether or not I should call them. I’m drowning in despair with the constant shifts in my emotions. My brain is foggy and dizziness comes and goes. Missing them is an unending anguish with nothing to dull it, my alphas never far from my thoughts. I spend most of my time thinking about the million ways this could all fall apart, but also the ways it could work out.
My heat is too close, and an ache throbs within me that only my alphas can turn into pleasure. I miss Hunter and the way he makes me laugh. I’m longing for Alric to wrap me in his arms with his steady presence. And Zachary, he’s the sunshine I need right now to keep the storm clouds in my brain at bay.
The only thing holding me back from calling them is the fact that their big launch party is this evening. They worked so hard, and I don’t want to take any of that away from them. I know if I gave them a choice, they’d be at my side immediately.They deserve to celebrate their efforts, and like the coward I turned out to be, I’m still not sure if I’m ready for a non-medically assisted heat.
I feel impossibly fragile, a sensation I haven’t experienced since I was a kid, and it paints everything with heartache and loneliness.
Harper put in a good word for me with the building owners, so I was able to move into one of the empty apartments down the hall. I used Alric’s card to hire movers and get all my stuff over here, but most of it was still in boxes, and I’d had to spend an entire day doing laundry just to get the scent of strangers off my things. I’m not sure about living here long term, but it’s at least a place to masturbate in peace and spare Harper from having to share a bathroom with me.
I’m feverish and hornier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. No amount of time with a knotted dildo and my own trusted hands does anything to ease the ache, not when my body craves my scent matches with unfathomable longing. I’ve replayed every heated moment between the four of us in my mind. Watched the video of Hunter and Zach fucking me in the gym till I have it memorized. It’s the only thing that helps even a little to keep the dread of my heat away.
“The next time I fuck you will be during your heat, while I’m knotting you with my teeth in your neck, bonding you to me forever.”
Slick slides down my ass at the thought of Alric buried so deep I might break apart from the stretch alone, his knot locking him inside me, his teeth sinking into my flesh, a bond making us unbreakable.
I come again but with no actual relief and give up to shower. I turn on the cold water to rinse off one last time before Omega’s Comfort arrives. Why did my heat have to be on the same night as their app party?
After I finally drag myself from the shower, I dress in leak-proof panties, loose PJs and my favorite sweater.
My phone dings with a notification.
This is an automated message.
Thank you for choosing Omega’s Comfort. Your ride will be arriving in twenty minutes.
I thought I had more time. My phone only reads 5:45 p.m.
Shit. It hits me then, I’ll soon be in a semi-comatose state for the next few days, and tears swell.
I’ve worked so hard to not be anyone’s anything, but being theirs doesn’t seem like a prison anymore—it feels more like something beautiful is blooming. Slowly, petal by petal. Being with these men is shifting something in me. I’m fucking terrified and I don’t wanna do it alone anymore. I want them at my heat.No, I need them there.
