Luca waves his hand near my face.
I blink, then shove him back. ‘Everything’s fine. You’re the one holding back.’ My fist squeezes near my lips as I stare at him.
He bites his lip, his tell when something is really wrong.
But something tells me this is something new. Something deeper. And I only recognize what it might be because for the first time in my life, I’m attached to someone.
‘You can talk to me,’ I remind him when his hands stay still.
He lets out a heavy puff of air, then nods. ‘I know. I’m not ready.’
‘Are you safe?’
He rolls his eyes, so I smack him on the leg.
‘I’m being serious, asshole!’
‘I’m safe,’ he promises. ‘I’m not a danger to myself or others. I’m eating. I’m drinking?—’
‘Too much?’
He glances away, which tells me yes, but I’m not going to call him on it. Not yet.
‘I’m going to the gym, I’m checking on the café. I’m helping you with your bullshit…’
‘It’s not bullshit!’
He squares his shoulders like he’s about to go off on me, then suddenly he sags forward and bows his head. A moment passes, then another, and finally he looks back up at me. ‘I know it’s not bullshit. It’s for Cielo.’
‘Not just for him, but yes.’
‘You love him.’
Yes. But I’m not going to say that in any language. Not yet. ‘I know things about the Vyastil,’ I reply, using the sign name Luca gave the monsters, ‘that a lot of people don’t. I feel bad for a lot of them.’
He looks like he wants to argue, but doesn’t. ‘Q is nice, and I like Cielo. He feels like family.’
That makes me feel a thousand times better because, while Gia, Amara, my parents, and Luca have embraced him, to see him say that is a relief. Too many people are like Zane. They’re good at pretending to tolerate what they can’t stand.
Hell, even Cielo believes he and Zane are friends. That makes my stomach roil slightly. There’s something about Zane I can’t put my finger on. And I don’t like it. He comes over to play with Niaus—who is getting big and is still fluffy and adorable and has totally grown on me—but the way Zane watches Cielo sometimes…
It’s not with lust. It’s not with hate.
It’s something else. Like he’s studying him.
I attempted to bring it up with Everest once, but he shut me down, so I decided it wasn’t worth it.
But I’ve been paying attention, and I will continue to pay attention because I will not let anyone put Cielo in harm’s way. Not after everything he’s been through.
‘I need to go,’ Luca signs, making a noise to get my attention. ‘I’m meeting a friend.’
My brows fly up. ‘What friend? You don’t have any friends.’
He flips me off again, and I laugh, pushing to my feet. When I do, the world spins a little, and I feel a familiar sort of ache settling in my bones. Fuck. No, no no no.
Not now.
Not after all this time.
