And that apartment no longer had any of Reece’s things. It was no longer home, not to Nick. How could it ever be the same without Reece? When Reece had been what made the place ahome for Nick to begin with… Every morning. Every afternoon. Every night. All night.
“I did it for him,” Nick said, trying to convince himself that he’d done the right thing. Not for himself but for Reece. Because he’d already forced Reece to hide his feelings, and he would not let Reece alter his entire life for him. Not again.
“I know,” Declan said, rubbing his back.
Nick didn’t want his comfort. Didn’t deserve it. But it broke him, and there, with Declan offering his silent support and a shoulder for Nick to lean on, Nick cried until he eventually passed out on the couch.
When he woke up, Nick had a headache from hell. Hungover. His eyes ached. His throat was so dry he couldn’t bear it. He sat up on the couch and massaged his temples.
“Fuck.”
Reece popped in his mind and the first thing Nick felt was rage, instantaneous and so immense that he grabbed the coffee table and was about to flip it over and go on another fucking rampage, but spotted a manila envelope with Reece’s name and picked it up instead.
Inside the envelope were several professional photographs of Reece. Some in color, some in black and white. Sleepwear and Swimwear. They had to be from the day before. Nick had asked to see, but seeing Reece at all at the moment was too much for Nick to handle. So he tucked them away, dropped the envelope back on the table, and cradled his head in his hands.
“Here.”
It was Declan, with some medicine and water.
“He’s… okay. Alex took him back to his apartment last night.”
Nick took the medicine, draining the glass of water. He knew better. Knew Reece was anything but okay and that he should’ve been the one making him okay. Instead, he was the root of Reece’s pain.
“Please tell me this shit’ll get easier,” he said, words quiet, but Nick looked to Declan hopefully. It had to pass, surely.
“I don’t know,” Declan admitted, eyes downcast. “But, with time, I do know that you’ll both be okay,”
Nick never would, but he wouldn’t argue with Declan about it. He didn’t have the energy to.
31
Chapter 31 - Reece
It had been three days since Reece had his heart broken. Three days since he returned to his apartment and existed in misery. The only reason he was able to force himself out of bed to take care of himself was because Alex was checking and threatened to call Reece’s sisters if he didn’t.
He did the bare minimum, eating very little, either taking quick showers with little effort or baths that he only dragged himself out of once the water turned cool. Work was out of the question. Reece had stopped crying. He ran out of tears. But he couldn’t force himself to smile. He couldn’t force himself to even remotely fake being okay.
Three days without Nick and knowing that he wasn’t coming back this time was literal hell and Reece kept hoping with each new day it would get better. But it didn’t. He just felt more empty. More tired.
On the fourth day, when Alex showed up, he wasn’t alone. Reece was mortified to find Ivory by Alex’s side. While Reece was a complete mess. His pajamas didn’t match. His hair was all over the place. There were bags under his eyes. But Ivory was a little ball of sunshine that tackled Reece with a hug so tight it knocked the breath out of him.
Reece didn’t think he wanted company, but Alex and Ivory made themselves at home and Reece didn’t have the heart to refuse Ivory or the nerve to refuse Alex. He didn’t think he wanted to talk about things anymore, but it hadn’t taken more than Ivory taking Reece’s hand for him to break and start pouring his heart out.
He didn’t hold back either, not his words or his tears, knowing that Alex and Ivory both had their own difficult journeys in their own relationships. He knew they would never judge him. Knew they’d listen and support him wholeheartedly, and it turned out that was exactly what Reece needed.
Being honest about his feelings felt good. He was always holding back, even with his friends, out of respect for Nick, but Reece desperately needed an outlet.
“I didn’t mean to fall for him, but… the truth is, I already did a long time ago. Way before we had sex.” Reece sniffed, closing his eyes as Ivory dabbed a tissue at the corners of them. “But I never put any expectations on Nicky ever. Even if there was a stupid part of me that was hopeful, you know…”
Ivory hummed in agreement and tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear. “If he freaked out just because you said you loved him, when that’s as obvious as it is, then he seriously needs a reality check. Of course you love him. Right, Alex?”
While Reece and Ivory sat snug on the couch, sharing a blanket, Alex stood across from them with his arms crossed. He was quiet and thoughtful, but that was typical Alex. He wasalways thinking critically. Alex looked between the two of them, his expression giving nothing away.
“Right. It’s not because of what you said, Reece.”
“Did he say something to you?”
Alex averted his eyes. “No.”
