“I have been here watching you grow up all these years. The only thing that’s changed is me becoming your guardian at your parents’ wishes. All I care about is making sure you’re okay and that starts with making sure you eat and don’t drive yourself crazy by just standing out here by yourself for hours on end in the middle of the night.”
Nick gritted his teeth and threw the ball he’d been holding. “Fuck,” he choked, feeling like the whole world was closing in around him and it was suddenly too hard to breathe.
“It’s not your fault, Nicholas.”
“Don’t.” Nick didn’t want to hear it because anyone else’s opinion didn’t matter.
The truth was simple; they would have never been killed if Nick hadn’t convinced them to go on that stupid vacation.
“It’s going to be okay. Even if it hurts.”
It was never going to be okay but Kent was the one person stuck with Nick even if it wasn’t of his own choosing, so Nick wouldn’t continue taking his pain out on him.
“Yeah. Let’s go eat.”
Kent’s relief whooshed out of him with a deep sigh and he followed Nick inside, serving him the most delicious burgers Nick had ever had. The guilt Nick felt for Kent getting stuck with him didn’t lessen. Even if Kent had been preparing most of his meals for as long as he could remember. Even if Kent had always been there with a warm smile and kind spirit and always seemed to truly care about Nick. Kent went from a longtime employee of the Gray family to Nick’s direct guardian. Because he had no other family. He had no one left in the world except for Kent.
“I won’t give up,” Nick said to Kent after their meal, when he stood up to excuse himself for the rest of the night. He still didn’t meet Kent’s eyes, but he finally found his resolve. “I’ll still go pro one day and I’ll make enough money to pay you back for everything. I promise.”
* * *
“We’re not leaving until you come out!”
“Yeah!”
Declan was shouting outside with Reece backing him up. It was the third day in a row those two had come over, knocking on the doors and calling to him from the backyard. Nick was surprised by their persistence but he wasn’t going out and he wasn’t talking to anybody.
A soft knock on his bedroom door had Nick storming from the window—where he was trying to peek at his friends without being seen—to the door to open it. Kent was there, dark circles around his brown eyes. He was having it rough too, but still put on a smile for Nick.
“Your friends are outside again. I can make snacks—”
“I want to be alone,” Nick said even if it was the furthest thing from the truth. Nick hated being alone. He hated knowing he’d be alone forever.
Kent’s thin lips worried together, his brows furrowed. Concern was etched onto his face but he hesitated to speak when Declan and Reece started calling out to him again. They were still going on when Kent finally said, “You should be spending time with them.”
“No. They shouldn’t be wasting their time here.” He clenched his fists on his way to his unmade bed. “I’m going to sleep.”
“Nicholas…” Kent said nothing more, but the quiet, broken tone of his voice let Nick know he didn’t agree with the decision.
Nick didn’t sleep, but he laid in bed listening to Reece and Declan trying to lure him out by any means necessary. From bribery to threats. Declan swore he’d never play ball against him again if he didn’t, only to take it right back. Reece promised to let him win and buy him ice cream after. They wanted him to go back to normal life but Nick didn’t see how he’d ever be able to.
Even though it was raining the next day, they returned. Nick didn’t even realize as he’d been lounging on his extra-large bean bag, earbuds in, playlist on. He was just tossing a basketball up and catching it over and over, trying to shut off his too-loud thoughts but nothing ever seemed to work.
A knock cut through the music in his ears and Nick paused it in time to see Kent stepping inside with a frown that had Nick instantly mirroring it.
“What’s the matter?”
“It’s your friends… They’re outside and there’s a thunderstorm.”
“Those idiots. They’re back?” The weather had been so bad that Nick didn’t think they’d be getting out at all, much less coming to his place to try to get him out after he’d already been refusing to for days.
Leaving his phone, earbuds, and the ball by the beanbag, Nick walked to his window. It was so dark outside that it didn’t look like the middle of the afternoon—so dark that Nick didn’t see his friends until lightning suddenly lit the whole yard and revealed them drenched by the basketball goal.
Clicking his tongue, Nick turned and headed out of his room. “I’m going to let them in. Please, just… give us some privacy.”
The sigh of relief that Kent let out sounded like a weight had been lifted off him. “I’ll be in my room unless you need me.”
Nick jogged all the way downstairs, stopping by the hallway closet to grab a few towels. When he opened the back door, he was spotted instantly, Declan and Reece rushing across the patio over to him.
