"That came out wrong. I just meant — I missed you. It would have been more fun with you. How was your weekend? I'm such an idiot. Tell me about your weekend."
"There's not much to tell. I've been working and the motel is the motel. I went to the library in Cawley, which is the next town over. They have air conditioning. That was the highlight."
"The highlight was air conditioning. So what about the God thing?" she asks. "There's a whole article. People are saying you've found religion."
"Don't even ask. Please."
"Fine, I won't. But for what it's worth, going to church was a smart move. The media have dropped the villain angle. It's all redemption arc stuff now."
I had no idea a picture of me in church was circulating and it's almost funny that Sita thinks this was a move. There was never a plan. I should be relieved that I'm not total poison anymore but that, too, barely registers. "Well," I say. "That's a silver lining."
"Yeah." She chuckles. "Are you coming home soon? It feels like forever since I last saw you."
"Not even close. Five weeks to go."
"Christ, Sloane. How are you not losing your mind?"
I close my eyes. There are about a hundred answers to that but I can't seem to find the right one. "It's not so bad."
"I find that hard to believe." There's a pause and then she says, "Okay. Right. I'm getting you out of there for a few days. I'm away right now — there's this thing, I won't bore you. But I'm back Saturday morning so I can send my driver to come and get you. He's got Sunday off but he can drive you back on Monday."
"I have to be back here Monday morning. Super early, it's non-negotiable," I say. "So thank you, but it's hardly worth the drive."
"Oh, come on. Let's party. You, me, and I'll invite the girls too."
"The girls who don't want to be associated with me?" I sigh. “I don’t know. I think I’ll just stay here.”
"Booooring," she says. "What happened to my bestie? You never say no to an invite. And the girls are fine, I promise. They've all moved on, you know what they're like. And you'll be in bed by two latest." She laughs. "Okay, maybe three. That new place in Malibu just opened and I've been dying to go."
"It sounds great, but I'm going to pass," I say, and I'm almost as surprised as she is. "I'm wiped out, Sita. I work six in the morning till five, and the last thing I need is paparazzi catching me stumbling out of a club. I'm finally not the story anymore and I'd like to keep it that way."
"You're turning down Malibu." A pause. "Who are you?”
"I know. Honestly, I don't fully recognize myself either."
"Fine." She sighs the sigh of a woman who has never once accepted defeat. "But I'm not giving up on you, babe. Consider yourself warned."
34
MAGGIE
The note from Cassie is pinned to the stable wall.
Penny needs her mane brushed every day or it gets tangled. June likes the soft brush first then the curry comb. Don't forget the apples. Hooves on Wednesday. Thank you!
The week has slid by in feed runs and small repairs. On Sunday, Sloane turned up at the gate to hide from Ruthie. She took me up on my offer — made coffee, read her book on my porch with her feet up on the railing, helped me with the eggs in the afternoon — and I spent the day inventing reasons to walk past the house.
The horses don't need two people. I could brush Penny and June in under an hour on my own, and I'm fully aware of that as I walk to the pig barn to fetch Sloane anyway.
I find her leaning on the pitchfork, finishing a bottle of water.
"I've got something different for you today," I say. "This will do in here for now, leave the rest. We're going to see the horses."
She looks up. "Wait — those are yours? I thought they belonged to someone else. That girl — I spoke to her on Sunday and she talked about them like they were hers."
"That's Cassie," I say, beckoning for Sloane to follow me. "She's sixteen, lives down the road with her mom in the trailer park past the gas station. She's wanted a horse since she could walk, and she's never going to get one so she comes here instead. Mucks them out, brushes them, feeds them, even rides them. They love her in a way they don't love anyone else, and since we're always super busy here, it works out well for me."
"Where is she?" Sloane asks.
