"Maggie," she whispers. "What is this?" She drops her hand and inches back a little like she's afraid of what she'll do.
Her eyes are still on mine and she's looking at me like she wants to kiss me. Eventually I find a breath.
"I don't know what to tell you. None of this makes any sense."
Before I can do something foolish, Penny lifts her head and shakes it, hard — a full-body rattle from the ears down — and the moment breaks.
Sloane shakes her head. "Sorry," she says to Penny. "Were we boring you?"
I laugh, mostly because this is highly awkward and I don't know how to be or what to say. I'm quietly grateful that it's Friday. I need my weekend to put this back where it belongs.
35
SLOANE
I've spent the entire afternoon not thinking about what I almost, nearly did. Thankfully I didn't, but I wanted to.
Maggie and I have been at opposite ends of the property since. We haven't spoken about this morning; I had lunch with Luis while Maggie pretended to be busy. I've shoveled and cleaned and hauled harder than ever, while failing to fight the stream of flashbacks that keep arriving uninvited.
It's official. I really, really want to kiss Maggie, and that's a problem. At least it's almost time to call it a day.
Luis asked me to top up the pig wallow while he finished the wire on the back fence. I left the hose on too long, and by the time I got back the whole edge had overflowed into a strip of slick earth. The pigs are in heaven and I smile as I watch them. Barbara is half-submerged in the shallow end and Gerald is just waddling out, completely covered in mud.
Luis appears beside me, wiping his hands on a rag. "I'm done for today. Heading into town in a minute. Want a lift back?"
"No thank you," I say. "You go ahead. I just want to shovel some dry dirt over the rim of the wallow before I leave. Some might struggle to climb out otherwise."
"I noticed. Was wondering if you were going for a lake." He grins and taps his cap. "Right. Well, I'll see you next week."
"See you, Luis. Have a good one!"
I head over to the feed store and grab the spade. Back at the pool, I plant my left foot well clear of the wet strip and dig the spade into the dry dirt beside it. The first shovelful goes over the worst of it. Then a second.
On the third I shift my weight without thinking, and my right foot lands on the wet strip, and I let out a loud yelp as the slip happens. My foot slides out, the spade goes one direction, and my arms go the other. I lose my balance and land on my behind in the pool with mud up to my waist.
Barbara lifts her head and stares at me.
"Sloane?" Maggie rushes over from the chicken coop. "Sloane, are you —" She stops and brings a hand to her mouth, trying not to laugh. "What in the —"
I try to push myself up the slope but my hands slide and my feet won't get purchase on the slick mud. "I'm fine, I'm fine," I say, struggling to get out.
"You know there's a perfectly good hose over there if you need to cool down," Maggie jokes, stepping closer. She holds out her hand. "Here. Let me help you."
"Don't! The rim is wet, you'll —"
My warning comes too late and her boots go from under her. She falls sideways and lands half on top of me with a sound somewhere between a cry and a curse.
She raises herself on one elbow above me, the other hand splayed flat on my breast. I look down at it and she follows my gaze, lets out an uncomfortable chuckle, then lifts her hand quickly.
"Sorry. God. Sorry. I swear, I was trying to save you, not grope you."
Maggie bursts out laughing and I'm laughing too, helplessly, my whole body shaking under her. We look over at Barbara, who is lying in the shallow end watching us, and that sets us off worse.
When we finally stop, Maggie is still half on top of me. One of her legs is wedged between mine and I don't even think she's noticed it until now. Her expression changes. The laugh leaves her face, and with her mouth a few inches away and her body pressed along mine, the air goes out of me.
"I want to kiss you," I confess. I have no idea where I got the courage from to say that, but the words are out and there's no taking them back.
"We shouldn't," Maggie whispers, but she doesn't move.
