"Well," she says quietly. "All right. I hear you." She gives my hand a squeeze. "I came here to protect you, Maggie, that's all this is. You're my girl and I've watched you get your heart handed back to you before and I didn't want to watch it again." She keeps hold of my hand. "Maybe I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong and it wouldn't be the first time. I hope I'm wrong because I'd like nothing more than for you to find your person."
"Sloane will prove you wrong," I say, my shoulders dropping a little.
Mom nods. "Okay, you won't hear another word from me." She pushes herself up from the table, her hand going to her back. "But if she breaks your heart I'll feed her to the pigs."
She means it. I can see her doing it without losing a minute of sleep.
Mom straightens her cardigan and checks her watch. "I need the bathroom before I head off."
I watch her head for the staircase and frown. There's no way Mom would choose the stairs with her back the way it is just for a toilet break when there's a perfectly good bathroom five feet from her.
I sigh and follow her. "Mom, why are you going upstairs?"
She reaches the top and turns. "Because I prefer that one. Why do I have to explain myself?"
My eyes widen as it dawns on me. "You're going for the face cream, aren't you?"
"Of course I'm not, Margaret. Honestly," Mom says, then quickly slips into the bathroom and locks the door behind her.
A woman with chronic back pain shouldn't be able to clear a flight of stairs that fast. I cross my arms and sigh as I stare at the closed door. "Mom. Leave the cream alone," I yell. "It's not yours!"
67
SLOANE
I've been awake since five, thinking about Maggie and what I can do to make this even slightly easier for her. Perhaps if I put myself out there, the media will die down a little and they'll leave her alone.
The town has rallied around her, but the gossip sites are still running, the comments are still coming, and three of the bigger ones have moved on from talking about me to speculating about her. About whether she preyed on me, or if she did it on purpose for attention. All of it's on the internet, which is the only place to settle the matter.
Maggie deserves better than to be a rumor so I get up, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I don't bother with makeup before I sit on the bed against the ugly baby blue headboard and angle myself so the lamp's behind me. My hair is a mess and I look tired but that's fine. I am tired.
I open the app and switch to my private account with almost three million followers I haven't posted to in months. I tap record.
"Hi," I say. "It's me, Sloane Archer. It's been a while." I hesitate, unsure where to start as I haven't prepared this at all."So. A lot of you have seen, or heard, something you weren't supposed to. It went up on a feed it should never have been on, it was my fault, it was an accident, and it's been taken down. I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen, and I'm not going to apologize for it either, so let me just say what's actually true, because I'm tired of letting other people decide."
I clear my throat, then take a deep breath before I continue.
"Some of you have been following me for years. You knew me as the party girl with the handbags and the famous friends, and then you knew me as the one who drove drunk into an animal sanctuary. I was stupid and careless but luckily the damage was limited, it could have been a lot worse.
"As you know, I was sentenced to community service in Duster and I'm still here. It's officially my last day of service. On my first day, it couldn't come fast enough and I was counting down the minutes, unsure how I was going to survive here because I was spoiled and self-absorbed. Little did I know…" I smile and take a moment to gather my thoughts. "It was meant to be punishment but it turned out to be the best thing that's ever happened to me. I learned how to work with my hands, in the heat, every day, for the first time in my life, and I can fix things now. I know the names of all the animals and I love them. I've learned about their quirks, their preferences, how they communicate, and I'd even go as far as to say that most of them like me back. Well, apart from the emus maybe," I say with a chuckle.
"I found out a lot of other things too, about who I am, and who I don't want to be. And I fell for someone. A woman. I've never said that out loud about a woman before, so — there it is, I guess. I'm saying it on the internet, which is not how I'd have chosen to do it, but you all know already, so here we are. I fell for a woman who is beautiful, kind, and stubborn, and works harder than anyone I've ever met. Although it's out there, I'm not goingto say her name. This isn't her circus and I wish everyone would leave her alone. But I'm not ashamed of it and I'm very serious about her."
I pause. This honest social stuff is new to me and I want it to be one, continuous shot. No do-overs. Every video on here has been edited and filtered to an inch of its life, but that would feel deceitful now.
"So. That's the truth," I continue. "Take it or leave it. Be kind to the sanctuary either way, they need your support so go look at Hank the donkey and my bestie, Dolly. And this account won't be the same because I'm not the same person I was before Duster. I like animals now, so if you don't, this is not the place for you anymore. Anyway. That's all I came to say. Thank you for listening, and I'll see you around."
I stop recording and don't watch it back before I post. The second it's up I feel a sense of relief.
The phone starts almost immediately. Buzz, buzz, buzz, and the notifications at the top of the screen turn into a list. I open the comments for one quick look. They're kind, mostly. One sayswe missed you. One saysplease tell us about the sex. One sayswelcome back. I close the app before I can read any more, because the responses can wait. It's my last day of official community service and I'm not going to waste it scrolling.
I take a quick shower, then stand in my underwear in front of the closet. I smile when I spot the black cocktail dress and pull it off the hanger. It's silly, but I think it will make Maggie laugh and at this point I'd do anything to make her laugh. I put it on along with the rubber boots I borrowed from her and got back with last night. I'd been cleaning the pig pool and forgot to swap them for my sneakers. They smell horrible as I pull them over my bare legs.
Then I put on sunscreen and the cap and shades Irina lent me, and find my phone, which is still buzzing on and off. I drop itinto a canvas bag along with my sunscreen and a bottle of water, and sling it over my shoulder. I look ridiculous and I don't care.
Outside, the unforgiving heat hits me and Patty's at the desk, waving at me through the doors when I pass. I cross the lot in front of the motel, past the shopping cart that's been parked there at a tilt since the day I arrived, and head down the road toward the bus stop.
It's not a pretty road. There's a fence on one side, dirt on the other, the gas station in the distance and nothing else. I'm in a four-thousand-dollar dress and a pair of borrowed rubber boots. The phone in my bag is going off after I told three million people I'm in love with a woman but I feel fine. Happy, even.
