“Follow me,” I said, not waiting for him to respond. Instead, I charged past him, making my way to the trailhead where the trees pressed closest.
“Why are ye bringing yer satchel?” he asked behind me, his footfalls crunching twigs and leaves.
I was prepared for this question. James was observant and no fool. “If Morgana helps me create a tonic, as I’m hoping, I’ll store it in my satchel.”
“I see,” James said as I hit the path that was little more than a ribbon between rocks, then walked a log over a stream, and wound up a rocky hill, just as I had so many years ago with my best friends. When we reached the cascading Fairy Falls, I paused, my prepared lie on my tongue, and my heart racing.
I turned to face James and met his gaze with level eyes. “I must go alone from here.”
“Why?” he asked, frowning.
I resisted the urge to wipe my damp palms on my skirts or shift from foot to foot with my nervousness. “Morgana will nae receive me if a man is present. She’s turned away every male who’s ever set foot on her path. Yer presence will close the cave to us both.”
I watched his face carefully as I spoke, reading each flicker of expression that crossed it. His brow furrowed deeper, and his sharp green eyes darted from the path to my face and back again. He was a tracker, and I feared he was looking for signs of my lie. When his jaw set and the muscle in his cheek jumped, my mind raced with what else I could say to make him believe me.
“I do nae like it,” he said, shaking his head. “I do nae care for the idea of ye going in alone. The woods are dark, and I do nae ken what’s in them.”
“I’ll scream if I need ye,” I answered, holding my ground, chin up, voice patient and reasonable. Every word was chosen to give him no foothold, no reason to argue. “I must go alone.”
“There must be another way,” he countered, making me clench my teeth in frustration. “Perhaps ye could tell her I’ve come as yer protector, nae as a man seeking her aid.”
I forced myself to rest a reassuring hand on his arm. Beneath my fingertips, his muscles jumped, and I had another flash of him above me during the joining, muscles tense as he held himself back, waiting to ensure I’d found my release. Damn him for the tenderness he’d shown. It had made it that much easier to lower my guard. I took a deep breath. This was not an argument I could lose. “Morgana will nae harm a woman who comes seeking healing knowledge. And if I need ye, I’ll call out, as I said. Ye’ll hear me.”
In my chest, behind the careful steadiness of my expression, I read his reluctance, which flitted across his face, as fear of losing his prize. The thought hollowed me.
He exhaled through his nose, ran a hand through his hair, and nodded once, sharp and final. “Go, then. But call out if ye need me.”
“I’ll return before ye feel the loss of me,” I promised, the lie still warm on my tongue.
I turned to leave, but he caught my hand. I glanced over my shoulder, and my breath caught. He looked at me the way I remembered my da looking at my mama when he had to ride off to battle. He looked as if even a moment away from me was too long to bear. Impossible. I was seeing what I wished for, not what was true.
His thumb rubbed twice over the back of my hand, making me shiver. “I will feel the loss of ye the moment ye are out of my sight.”
If I didn’t know better, I would have thought he cared for me. A knot lodged in my throat, and I nodded, turned, and stepped onto the path. Immediately, the forest’s cool darkness reached for me. Behind me, James was silent, but I could feel his gaze on my back like a physical touch. Each step away from him snuffed out a little more of the hope he’d ignited and made my pain grow. I had to think of something else, so I turned my mind to the route north I would take back to Gillie, but my stubborn heart kept returning to James. Why did each step away from him feel like tearing something from my chest? And why did the thought of never seeing him again make my throat close and my eyes burn?
I pushed the questions aside and walked faster, my satchel heavy against my hip, my boots finding the path by memory. The forest swallowed me whole, and I welcomed its embrace. Better the unknown dangers of the woods than to stay another moment with a man who would use me for gain.
Chapter Nineteen – Katreine
With each step closer to Morgana’s cave, the temperature dropped, the forest grew darker, the sounds of life faded, and thick mist rose around me. But I kept going, placing one foot in front of the other, shoving thick branches out of my way, because there was no choice but to go forward. Behind me lay a life of betrayal, heartbreak, and loneliness. I wanted a chance to live and die, even if I wasn’t sure I wanted a chance to love a man. James’s betrayal had brought back all my old wariness, but it had also introduced me to passion, desire, and what it could feel like to think a man wanted you for you, to protect you, to care for you, to grow old with you. I didn’t know if I wanted to try to trust a man again, but I did know I wanted the choice, and the old yearning for a life I’d never had the chance to live caused tears to fill my eyes.
I blinked, and when the world came back into focus, there was Morgana’s cave, its mouth a jagged wound in the rock face. There, floating just above the ground before the entrance, was Morgana herself. Her long silver hair tumbled over her shoulders, untouched by wind. Her silvery-purple gaze found me immediately, as if she had been watching the tree line for some time. She smiled slowly, and gooseflesh rose along my arms. It was not that her expression was menacing. It was that she looked exactly as she had the day in the woods, twenty years ago, when Elena, Freya, Murieall, and I had been caught kneeling over her stolen goblet, our wishes not yet finished on our lips. She had the same face. No lines crinkled around the eyes from years gone by. Her skin was creamy and smooth, kissed with the glow of youth. And then, just as she had done that day without a word or a gesture I could name, she froze me.
I had lifted my foot to take a step, but I could not put it down. I could not move my leg, my arms, or anything. I could breathe and blink, but other than that, I was helpless. Morgana floated toward me, closing the distance between us. She stopped, her body lowering until her feet touched the ground, and she stood face-to-face with me, unchanged by time, just as I was. Either Morgana did not age, or she had cast some other spell upon herself, or, I considered, someone else had put a spell upon her.
“I’ve been waiting for ye,” she said, her words puffing out little clouds of white, as if we stood in freezing temperatures. It was then I realized how much the temperaturehaddropped. Had I been able to pull my cloak tighter, I would have. I blinked. She snapped. My foot hit the ground, and I grunted in surprise.
I could move, but I was afraid to. I’d once been the recipient of Morgana’s hand-waving, and my mouth opening of its own volition as liquid from her magical goblet slid down my throat. She was a powerful witch indeed. “How did ye ken I was coming?” I asked, wincing at how shaky my voice sounded.
She cocked her head and stared at me, as if deciding what to reveal. After a long pause, she said, “I sensed it on the wind.”
Her look told me that was all the answer I was getting, so I opened my mouth to plead my case, but she held up one finger between us, and my lips clamped shut. Fear spiked through me, but she smiled and shook her head. “I’m nae going to harm ye, Katreine. I’m nae a vindictive witch, contrary to what ye may believe. Aye, I was angry that day, powerfully so, but even with my rage coursing through me, my intent with the curse was to teach each of ye a lesson ye would nae ever forget.” She paused, tilting her head as she studied me. “Tell me, Katreine, why should I listen to ye now?”
With a barely perceptible flick of her hand, my tongue-tie unraveled, my knees buckled, and I fell to the frozen ground before her. This was it, possibly my only chance to make herunderstand and forgive me. My tears began before I even spoke the first word. “I’ve learned my lesson nae to take what is nae mine,” I sobbed, my voice cracking. “It was unthinking and foolish of my friends and me to steal yer goblet.”
My heart pounded in my head and throat, and my blood rushed through my veins, scorching me with fear that she would not believe me and that I’d be stuck with the curse. “I’m sorry,” I cried out, grabbing her hands in my haste to make her hear me. I jerked with the currents flowing from her to me. Inside this witch dwelled a power I’d only glimpsed. “I’m sorry,” I repeated. “I’m sorry our unthinking action cost yer mama her life. I did nae ken, we did nae ken, that the wishes had such a price as a life for a life.”
Morgana gently tugged her hands from mine, then patted me on the head as if I were a child needing consoling. She let out a long sigh before speaking. “Ye have nae learned, girl. I already ken ye are sorry. I kenned that the day I caught ye all. I could hear yer thoughts in each of yer heads. ‘Sorry’ was nae the lesson I meant to etch into your hearts.” She clicked her tongue, shook her head, then snapped her fingers. My body jerked upright, spine arching as I floated unsteadily to my feet. She gripped my chin in one cold hand. There was no pain, only absolute dominance as she forced me to meet her gaze. “By the gods, ye’ve taken longer than any of yer companions to grasp yer lesson.”
