Sherman sucks his teeth, darting his gaze toward me. I quickly look away.
Once we touch down in Georgia and make our way through the busy airport, Josephine won’t look anyone in the eye. I do catch her, from time to time, glancing with longing at Autumn as we wait to collect our luggage. Autumn keeps shifting Sebastian from one hip to the other, her arms surely growing tired after holding him for so long. Yet, each time Mrs. Schwartz approaches her to take Sebastian, Autumn finds an excuse to walk away, as if she doesn’t notice.
At the hotel across from the convention center, we’re all dragging our feet when we take the elevator up to the fourth floor to stop at my suite first. Sherman had originally booked us two suites on the same floor—a one-bedroom for me and a two-bedroom for him to share with Autumn. As soon as plans changed, however, I called ahead and was thankfully able to upgrade to a three-bedroom suite, since Mrs. Schwartz will be staying with the kids and me.
Sherman helps bring all our luggage inside, save for his andAutumn’s. “We’re in room five-fourteen,” Sherman says, pointing a finger up. “Holler if you need us.”
Autumn turns to follow him without a word.
“Autumn?” I tap her shoulder, her spine rigid.
“What?” she snaps.
“Kinda need you to give Sebastian back.”
She jolts as if she hadn’t realized she was still holding him. “Oh. Right.”
As expected, he kicks and screams for “Tum-Tum,” as he’s taken to calling her, when I have to lift him from her arms. Autumn wrings her hands as Sherman takes her by the elbow and leads her back down the hallway to the bank of elevators.
Chapter Nine
Autumn
My stomach twists, just as I do in bed, unable to fall asleep despite how exhausted I am after the flight.I didn’t tell them goodnight—another woman did. I mean, Mrs. Schwartz is their nanny, who was great with Shayla’s brood, but still. It should have been me, not someone the kids just met. Did she know that Benjamin needs his back patted and the vibrations of her chest from humming to lull him to sleep? That Sebastian needs to be held, but not too close, or else he’ll fight to get loose? Did Mrs. Schwartz braid Josephine’s hair too tight? Or was it all lumpy and uncomfortable when she laid her head on her pillow, and she’s just as awake and uncomfortable as I am?
Ugh. I’m being ridiculous.
Is this what Shayla felt each time she had to take Lainey home, leaving Grayson behind, before she and James were together? This is exactly why I didn’t want to babysit kids that aren’t family. I get emotionally attached, as we Fischers are prone to do, and as Josephine has to me—except multiply it bya million when it comes to all three of Forest’s kids. I died a little inside each time I looked at my Josie, wanting to crush her in a bear hug, only stopping myself from doing so because Forest was watching us like a hawk.Asshole.
Dammit! See? I’m too attached, because Josephine isn’tmyanything. “Terrible” wildly understates how I feel when it comes to her and her little heart, and I hate myself for breaking it.
I flip onto my back in bed and kick my sheets and comforter off with a growl of frustration, shoving the linens to the end of the bed. It’s been three hours since Dad and I went to our separate bedrooms after sharing a silent room-service snack—well, he’d had loads of questions for me, none of which I could or was willing to answer.If only I had been able to say goodnight, I’d be fast asleep by now…
Another half hour has me saying, “Fuck it!”
Tiptoeing out of my room with the keycard and my phone, I step into my satin house slippers and exit the suite, run down the hallway, then jam my finger over and over again into the elevator button until the doors slide open. Outside of Forest’s suite, I text him:
I’m here. Let me in.
His reply comes surprisingly quickly in the form of sweeping his door open for me, his hair sticking up every which way as he rubs his eyes. Was it hard for him to fall asleep, too?
I swerve around him, ignoring the way my belly swoops at the sight of his bare chest, tight abs, and thin pajama pants that don’t hide a damn thing. “I didn’t tell them goodnight.”
He croaks in a raspy voice, “Who?”
“The kids, asshole. Who do you think?”
He crosses his arms. “Try again.”
“The kids,” I say through a clenched jaw, forgoing another insult that’s on the tip of my tongue. “I want to check on them and tell them goodnight. Which room are they in?”
He points to a closed door on the left of the large living space decorated in creams and gold. Using the flashlight on my phone, which I turn down to the lowest setting, I push into the room as quietly as I can. At least three of us are sleeping peacefully, though Josephine looks like she might have been crying, her eyes slightly swollen. She’s clutching a stuffed bunny rabbit close to her chest, which is likely damp with tears.
Carefully placing a knee on the queen-sized bed, I lean over and press a featherlight kiss on her brow, her braid much messier than one I would have made.I knew it!
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier, Josie,” I tell her.
My heart speeds up when she stirs but doesn’t waken. I do the same with Sebastian, who’s lying beside Josephine, and I pull the comforter up, tucking them in tighter with the A/C blowing at full blast in their room.
