I rub the heels of my palms into my eyes, then roughly shove my fingers through my hair when we’re minutes away from bedtime, and there’s been no sign of Autumn.
But then Sebastian shouts, “Tum Tum!” and bangs on the window to get her attention.
Instead of being greeted by the beeps of my electric keypad and Autumn waltzing right in, she knocks.
With sinking dread, I open the door, slightly ashamed of myself for being disappointed that she’s brought Brady with her. “You don’t have to knock,” I tell her, backing up to allow the pair inside. “You know the code.”
Autumn shrugs, never lifting her eyes higher than my chest. She doesn’t say one word to me as we get the kids tucked into bed. With Brady hanging out on the couch, playing with a handheld gaming device, I corner Autumn in the dark hallway, trying to back her up into my room.
“Please, angel. This isn’t over,” I tell her.
She darts around me. “Doesn’t matter how many times you say it, it won’t make it true.”
“I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted more kids,” I say to her back, desperate for her to talk to me. “But I changed my mind.”
She slows to a stop at the mouth of the hallway. “When?” she finally asks without turning around.
Approaching her slowly, I tell her, “When you got your period. I was devastated.”
She doesn’t say anything right away, but neither does she move away when I lightly rest my hands on her hips.
Thank god. Thank fucking god.
Slipping my hands around her rigid form, I press my chest against her back and dip to kiss her temple. “I’m a wreck without you, angel.”
Softening in my arms, she asks, “How do I know you won’t change your mind again in a few days?”
Pulling her deeper into the dark hallway out of Brady’s sight, I slip a hand into her robe to rest my palm low on her stomach, where I hadn’t realized just how acutely I wantedour child to grow until we found out there never was a child. “I’ll prove it to you.”
Autumn presses her hand atop mine, her quickening heart beat fluttering in her stomach. “How?”
“I—”Fuck!I’ve been so focused on her simply giving me another chance that I haven’t thought of what exactly I was going to say to get her to want to stay with me.
When I merely open and close my mouth a few times, panicking, Autumn turns in my arms. She lifts her hands to cup my cheeks before brushing her lips against mine. With profound relief, I wrap my arms tighter around her and try to deepen the kiss, my eyes growing hot as emotion wells within me.I have my angel back in my arms, and all is right in the world again.
But then she pulls away with unbearable disappointment shining in her eyes. “Until you can prove that I can trust that you’re not just saying what I want to hear, we’re done.” She slips out of my arms and turns the corner. “Come on, Brady,” she says, rushing to open the front door, stepping out on the stoop without waiting for him.
Brady looks back and forth when he stands, his thumbs still flying over the knobs of his gaming device. “Bruh, you fucked that up big time.”
“Language,” is all I can stupidly think to say.
He rolls his eyes just like his sister has a million times. “Whatever.”
Sunday goes much the same way. Though my kids are invited to play at Shayla’s house around lunch time, where Brady is also hanging out, there’s no sign of Autumn. Her car is gone. Even if Shayla and James agreed to watch my kids for a moment so I could sneak out and across the street, I stillwouldn’t be able to get any time alone with the woman who is breaking my heart. She’s quicker to avoid getting stopped by me in the hallway that night, too.
Monday, my hope sinks to dangerous levels when I get to work and discover Autumn has set herself up in the conference room with Barbara and their laptops, so I can’t even corner my angel in our office. With Barbara spending most of her time with Autumn as they split up Sherman’s responsibilities among the rest of the staff, taking on more than their usual duties, I can’t seem to find even a snippet of time to get Autumn alone.
Still, I try. My co-workers probably think I have some kind of medical issue, considering the dozens of times I walk the hallways toward the restrooms each day, which conveniently requires me to pass the conference room. Each time I do, Autumn briefly looks up and makes eye contact with me through the glass wall, then quickly ducks her head. The corners of Barbara’s lips quirk up higher with each pass, perhaps seeing right through my actions.
By Friday, though, I’ve stopped feeling sorry for myself. I’m not going to win over the feisty, vivacious, firecracker woman of my dreams with all my sulking and ambling around like a lost puppy, hoping she’ll feel sorry enough for me to talk to me. My behavior is pathetic and grossly unattractive, so I don’t know why I thought Autumn would ever go for that. Do I even want her to choose to be with me simply because she’s caved to all my moping? No. Not in the least. I want her to choose me because she trusts me with her heart and her future.
Pulling my head out of my ass, reminding myself that I’m a planner at heart, I decide to give Autumn the space Bailey said she needs. It’s time to buckle down and face my problem head-on, energized to put a plan in motion. It starts withscheduling a sit-down meeting with the equally headstrong women in Autumn’s life.
Two Sundays later, I rise from my seat at the head of the table at the Tex-Mex restaurant that Autumn once mentioned is her family’s favorite. “Ladies, thank you for coming,” I say when they arrive. I rub my hands together with nerves before quickly running around the table to pull out their chairs for them.
I’ve arranged for the men to watch everyone’s kids, and I’ve ordered appetizers, fajitas, and drinks ahead of time, having given the server a cash tip in advance to keep the chips, queso, and extra tortillas coming without interruption. When the women are seated, I spin my laptop to face Miranda, Bailey, Shayla, and Eden. Straightening my spine to stand tall, I give Josephine a nod.
She hovers her pointer finger over the keyboard, beaming brightly. “My daddy is going to win Autumn back, and they’re going to fall in love and get married, and I’m gonna be the flower girl, and Sebby is gonna be the ring bearer, and Benny’s gonna—I don’t know what he’s gonna do, but we’ll give him a job.”
