“Me?” I scoff. “No way. I wasn’t doing that, but I betyouwere. You’ve got that guilty face.”
“My face is naturally guilty,” he shoots back. “Unlike yours, which looks like you just—”
“Are the fastest guy on ice, ever,” I interrupt.
He squints. “That wasn’t what I was going for. You aren’t that fast.”
Chuckling, I gesture to his food-stuffed pockets and give it right back. “Well, maybe if you wouldn’t eat so much, you’d skate faster.”
That earns a laugh from both of us, and he mutters, “Whatever. I’m headed back to my room. You keep sneaking around to set up your pranks—”
I throw my hands up. “Do you think I’d sew my own jersey shut? I'm not the one setting up the pranks,” I try to explain, but he’s already strutting away. I wait until he’s gone before leaning my hand against the wall, exhaling a deep sigh. I hadn’t realized how high my adrenaline spiked until the dip of releasehit. Tonight was the most amazing night of my life, but sneaking around with Lottie isn’t sustainable—not with so much riding on her professional life. I’d feel terrible if we got caught. Hopefully, she ends this whole Bodan deal soon. I push off the wall, straighten, and peer down the hall.
My attention wanders back toward the snack machines. I could use a little emotional support chocolate too. But not just any chocolate.
I need the plain M&M’s.
thirty
Lottie
Miraculously,Imakeitup to my room without running into my mom and close the door behind me as quietly as I can, leaning against it. I toy with the end of my hair, breathing hard. Set to sixty-eight, the air conditioner doesn’t touch the heat coiled in my chest. My fingers tingle, prolonging the sensation of pressing my palms against Ty’s chest. It doesn’t quite feel real yet that I get to be with Ty. Even if it stays secret for now, it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Elation swirls in my heart, spiraling through my body like soft, pillowy cotton spreading warmth.
With a secret smile, I cross the room and pull pajamas from my closet. I tug on the top, careful not to make a lot of noise.Sure, my mom is asleep, but I never shake the feeling of walking on eggshells in this house. Just as quietly, I rise onto my toes, swap my shorts for pajama bottoms, and flop onto my bed with a bit of dramatic flair. I’m irritated at my mom for putting me in the situation.
Yes, I have free will.
Deep down, I follow her plan anyway, because part of me still hopes, if I doanotherone of her requests, something might shift in our relationship. Maybe she will actually be proud of me, or at the very leastseeme as an actual person who has a personality besides being her servant. I understood Ty’s frustration tonight when he said he wanted to make me proud, because I struggle with the same doubts. It’s weird to crave that from my mom, especially since I’m not entirely sure she’s capable of appreciating anyone but herself.
A girl can hope.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I lower my face to my unlit phone screen.
I’ve been stuck for a long time. Maybe it’s the adult thing to do to accept she’s never changing. Wasting my life trying to be seen by her is just that—wasting my life. Without overthinking it, I tap the screen and pull up the local jobs board. My expression stays neutral as I scroll.
All I’ve ever done is what my mom tells me to do. She trained me from the time I was little to be her mini-me. Without varied work experience, I don’t even know how I’d translate what I do onto a résumé.People-Pleasing Doormat. It’s not funny, but I still snicker. And knowing my luck, if I ever do apply for other jobs, she’ll find out. She has her ways.
With every swipe, my gut twists with something undeniable; if I quit working for my mom, I’ll likely need to move out because of the inevitable friction.
But where would I go?
After years of towing her line, I’ve never given myself options before. The thought of moving to any city to do anything is overwhelming.
What do I even want?
A thought settles in gently. I know exactly what I want. It’s not about the job—some things are more important than that. It’s what I’ve been waiting for. And tonight, I heard Ty say he feels the same way I do.
I can’t go back.
I stare at the screen, seeing no jobs that pop out at me. After all the years of networking for my mom, you’d think I’d have met someone who could help me transition into a different job, but my brain is mush.
I’m terrified.
I’m exhilarated.
But most of all, I’m ready.
I’m finally ready for the fallout, and for whatever comes next. There’s no question in my mind. I drop my phone on the comforter and lie back on the bed. When I close my eyes, the face I see is Ty’s, forever wearing that lazy smile. My heart ticks up a notch as I let the warmth he brings flood in, drowning out any lingering uncertainty and fueling what I need to do in the coming days.
